my boyfriend is cheating on me but I can't leave him

We've dated for about 4 yrs and lived together almost that long. Problem iks this he made friends with this gal and they call each other daily even when am asleep he'll go to the toilet to talk. i know he's cheating but when I confronted him he denied it all. am sad to think that having invested for this time its all falinng apart. Other than that he has introduced me to his family and his mum and I are friends. I talked to her about the issue but she says I should't overeact be quiet but she know he loves me. He tells me am the best and all but I dont want to cry anymore. I want to be happy, How do I start?

dump him

Hi
I typed my bf is cheating on me in google and this message came up so i had to reply
Im in exactly your position my bf an i have been togethr for almost 3 yrs, i thought he was the one id spend the rest of my life with but now im havin doubts...hes been cheating on me with someone at work, and as he works at a hotel and she lives there its a very convient for him...
I found out almost a month ago and since then hes been going back and forth between her an me, your probably asking yourself why i dont walk away, i honestly cant bring myself to end our realtionship i just love him too much!!
Our reationship has had its ups and downs, like every realtionship but the pain im feelin at the moment cant even be put into words... he just isnt a very nice person to me to be honst he hits me and puts me down and makes me feel small, but on the same token makes me feel special and loved, which is what i crave because i have had a hard past...What makes the whole situaltion worse is the fact weve been tryin for a baby because i have always wanted a baby and i thought that was what he wanted 2, and now hes doing this to me...no other word but spinless!
I always said to myself that if i ever found out that hed cheated on me id kick both there teeth in and walk away imdiatly and it would definatly make me not love him any more but now im in that situation, i pysically cant...

And this is the crazy thing about it since i found out ive been chattin with the other girl hes seeing,and been nice but only cud he told her at 1st he wasnt with me no more-when he was. I actually feel sorry for her aswell as for myself lol she has got sucked in like i have and now has fallen for him too, i no she cant experience the love i feel for him but i can see he made her feel special too just like me...at the moment shes the only one i can actually talk to properly about this, shes the only one that understands...She wants this to end as well i do cause lets face it this cant carry on!!

Today he told her he thinks he loves her a bit :( so what does that mean he loves us both, he says he only said that to make her feel better casue he feels bad but i no thats bull....
I wish everything would all go away, i no im been treated like a doormat but i love him and i just cant cope been alone...i no only i can end this but hes saying hell get a new job and be with me, so dont want to end this and him be with her...i just love him so fookin much
I know this post was ment to be to help u but its turned into a cry for help, i can see u posted it a good few months ago so maybe your problem is sorted and you can help me

Chloe x

Hi Cloe I exactly know the pain you are going through. Am in the same thing at the moment. Nothing has changed. Its all the same story the pain hte lies the tears I really am down and I have exams soon. I just can't find strength within myself to let go. He isn't a bad person but what he's doing is worng. Honestly I hate this other gal and I wish I never met her. But wishing never solves anything. I want things to go back to the way they were. Am afraid to let go I know am young and beautiful and I can make it on my own but I dont want to be by myself. He actually calls her everymorning after uni classes and every night b4 he sleeps. I cant stop him from doing all this but I can stop myself. My gals tell me its high time to say goodbye but am not interested in any other guy. Holla back gal I think we can help each other. take care.

i ask myboyfriend do he got a girlfriend but he tell me that he try to think about school but he did tell he mom about me so i do think he cheating because he did not take me to meet he mom plus am geting sick in try of the seem lies try so am going to breck up with him that going to be hard but i got to thick about my feel.............

I can understand what you both are going through,i have the same situation right now but the difference is i used to know who the other woman is before and i broke them up but now that hes doing it again i dont know who the new one is:( coz my BF has been very good in hiding everything from me ever since i caught him before.Its killing me to live everyday thinking that hes cheating on me and i cant do anything.I wanted to leave him and ive tried so many times but i love him so much i always end up staying and him promising that he will not do it again.Weve been together for almost 2 years now and ive caught him so many times now,i know i should leave but i dont know why i cant,i know im stupid to stay but im scared to go and be alone.

wow i can understand your feelings about not wanting to be alone. I feel the same way about my boyfriend he hits me calls me names and puts me down literally everyday. he screams at my family and is very abusive. Okay, I know im a total sucker for not taking my own advice but my guts are building slowly. When your with somebody for that long you do care deeply about them but there is no REAL love in cheating. Its VERY hard for me becuase i can never see my friends and have lost alot of them becuase of my boyfriend. But im going to take the risk and break up with him i deserve better. I will be much happier with somebody that treats me good. REMEMBER EVERYBODY ABUSE HAS NO PLACE IN LOVE.

well my dad always told me if you think somebody is cheating on you. your proably right. trust your instincts and listen to the signs. I know you love him but picture a life like this? its just not relistic. There will be plently of other people out there who WILL not treat you like that. always remember

Hey ladies,
Im a 24 year old mom thats going through everything you guys are going through and ladies this sh** is getting crazy. Me and "MY" man has been together for 4 1/2 years, we live together, we have a baby together, we have everything we've build together and we are suppoused to get married next week to make everything official, but im sad to admit this guy is playing games with me and i've invested so much into him that im afraid of ending it. I guess this isn't the first time i believed he's cheated and he claims that he is'nt cheating but i must have a angel wathching over me because one week before i sign my life over to this guy, my women intuition allowed me to become matlock on someone lol and i quessed his code to his vm. Ladies i came across a message from some little heifer asking him to come pick her up to go to the hospital. I must have relistened to that sh** 20 times until i moved on to the next message, ladies a second message from the same chick telling him off because she left her boyfriend to be with him and shes been calling him because he was suppouse to come see her and he tells her that he was sleeping. Yo i could hurt this a**hole he probably was in bed holding me while on the phone talking to this b**ch. Ladies i bust my a** off for this man. Im a home body, i take care of him(massages, his feet, cooking) the works. All i could think about is im doing all the hard work and she indulging in my sweat. Hes been escorting her around in our vehicle. i could seriously hurt this man. then he walks in and sees me on the phone and my tears and is like "baby what happen whats wrong?" Yo his lies were bouncing off of me because the next thing i knew my bedroom t.v was on the fall. Ladies i am so embarrased and confused right now. we are very close and i know he loves me and don't want to lose me but how could he betray me like this? I don't know what to do i love this man and i want to be with him........we are raising a family and i know that in the past i wasn't 100% true to him, but we are on a new level and when i first told him that i was feeling him too he wanted this family. What am i going to do?

DesperatelySusan and ChloeX, as it seems the men that we love unfortunately are cheaters. Both of your relationship is a mirror of my own. I'm engaged to my bf and he has always cheated before the engagement and to this day after. i accepted the proposal thinking that the pass 3yrs of cheating would be over...a month later he proved me wrong; then a month after that ect... today i find myself here, courtesy of GOOGLE. He cheats with different women but 1 in particular he keeps cheating with. I always told MYSELF he didnt really love her b/c he would be with her (we live together as well) if he did,right..no! wrong. this last occurrence has pushed me over the edge, it was just me finding an email, the usual cheating thing but i feel different now b/c though he is here Im done CONVINCING MYSELF that he doesnt love her. Ladies the hardest thing for me to do is to let go, the second hardest was for me to realize and accept that loves someone else ALSO, though he loves me; at this point it's not good enough. Why should WE accept a shared love? Why don't we feel that someone can love us totally? Though a man may vary well cheat there is a difference in CHEATERS. a guy may cheat but HELL will freeze over before he is caught again (Susan)he's trying and he may even break it off with (who ever the slut is)if he detects you are closing in on it. Then there is the guy who cheats and cheats sloppy and then has nothing but "REASONS WHY" he cheats (though he's NEVER been faithful - MY BF)when he is caught. Chloe, I and the women he was/is seeing talked as well and she loves him; as with you my bf did the same "made her feel just as special as I felt". though she said she was DONE with him, she never was and never intended to be, she really hoped that the discovery would force me out, and i probably hoped the same. The truth is he's not going to leave me for her b/c he can simply cheat and makeup cheat and makeup on both ends. We both are/have been accepting of it, she even called me once and said "it wasnt even YOU i caught him with" as if that should make it better, that also told me (something he has always known)she will be willing waiting for him to comfort her and love her whenever he is available to do so(that is when he's NOT loving me). Ladies I've DECIDED that I don't want to be loved like this anymore...it's NOT normal. I have brothers that love their wives dearly and 1 or 2 of them have cheated! but there wives have never felt less LOVED. i am preparing myelf for the night cries, I think I'm well prepared for the pain, believe me ladies with all the cheating YOU HAVE ALREADY ENDURED the pain. Also prepared MYSELF to know that missing him, the tears and pain will only last for a little while and visioning where i will be mentally after I'm over it is the only thing that is giving me comfort and the determination to end this. i will never bind myself again to a MAN I KNOW WILL CHEAT. forget thinking "he's a good guy and he will stop". Ladies many men cheat PHYSICALLY but not all cheat EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY. and HE IS never break it off you, please believe me, but dont keep setting yourself up for emotional desperately and pain. I'M GOING TO HANG OUT WITH MY GIRLS, MY FAMILY AND ANYONE ELSE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE TO GET ME MOVIN :) Ladies it took a lot for me get to this point and will all being said here and ANYWHERE for that matter, you will only END it when your heart tells YOU its time :(, my WILL has become stronger than the beat my heart has for him. PEACE

This is the first time in the almost 5 years of my relationship that I am writing this for other eyes to see, but I think writing brings me comfort. Like each of you, I am in a similiar situation with someone who cheats, even though he said he cheated in the past. I found out, the first and devastating time, when I read his text 2 years ago. He too proposed and I accepted thinking things will change. Anyway, ever since finding out he cheated, I changed. I went from not texting him, ok with seeing him 1ce a week to texting him like crazy,and being called a nag because I was afraid he was still cheating, and was angry when he ignored me. Of course, he does not understand my reasons and blames me for being "annoying" even though it is to tell him I do not like what he is doing to me. Well now after that mad session of texting him, I text him sometimes, but those sometimes are due to my anger towards his not answering when I call (as usual). My main question is how do I stop texting him period? It's like it's grown in me to vent via the cell. I have calmed down a great deal, but I still feel blah because I believe he is still messing around. There so much more I can say, but if I type everything they will shut this site down lol. Ladies (and gents if you read this) what can i do to get my mind off of wanting to even communicate with him? I never cheated so that's not an option lol. I just don't want to be called a nag because I text my feelings, especially when I know I am not a nag. I've witnessed nags in my lifetime (like the way my sis-in-law treats my brother who is a good man).

LOL..."text madness"! Dont feel as though you are a nag b/c you're not. I've been down that road too! Actually you probably text him b/c you know he will certainly get it! When he doesn't answer you text, and we know if we press the right button he will certainly text you back or even CALL. I'm also willing to bet he communicates to you (feelings and all) via text quit a bit(?). You feel comfortable communicating that way b/c he is. He does it b/c it's the easier way to hold a conversation with whichever women he is not physically with at the time. I had to flat out tell my b/f that it was absolutely disrespectful to have a conversation via text that he obviously felt he could not have verbally! I asked him not to disrespect me and I will not him. As for him not answering, they will give you a million reasons why, but only 1 reason he doesn’t answer and unable to return your call within mins...you know why. To answer your question, I can't but; tell you what I did. Whenever he text me I would call him (I stopped replying to his text msg with a text msg). If he wouldn’t answer, I would delete his text (no matter what it read). He won't answer sometimes, so why is he texting you and cannot answer?(Hell ask him) Also, he will text you while with another woman (the text CHEATERS do that), but the conversation won't be long, and he's only doing that to soothe your "woman intuition" that will keep you off his tail until he gets free :) Anyone would feel NAGGED if they kept getting caught up in their mess!

Shannon

hi all, ive had the same problem,my partner raymond alwasy cheats on me with asain men and i get really sad i wish he would just wana coress my body instead of others ,how can i bring him back to those hifgh school days where he was a freak in the bedroom?
please help

TO ALL GIRLS ON THIS PLANET>>>>>>>>

Have you ever asked yourself why the BOYS are cheating on you.
Number one if that happenes once, then it is accident.
If it is all the time but with different girls, then it's TRY SOMETHING NEW.
If it is all the time ,but with the same person, then he has found something somewhere else, with somebody else that you're not giving.

Life and relationship became boring.
If you don't know how to keep your relationship going, nobody else can help you. My dad was cheating on my mom. I know that. My mom knew that, but she talked to him, and explained everything. Their relationship is even better, then it was before.

I never cheated on my girl, because I have everything I need with her. It's not all about SEX. There are some different things. Try to improve your relationship. Get out of the BOX and make it even more interesting.
____________________________________________________________________________


At the other point you can make him to be worried about your relationship. Just stop paying attention, stop being 24/7 there when he needs you. Go shopping and don't tell where are you going. if he asks just tell "I'll be back." That's it. He will think where you at, are u seeing another guy.
All the girls that need advice can contact me on
kuvar011@yahoo.com and I will give you advice how to solve the problem.
It's easy and works. He'll be yours again and you can control the situation. Also have advices for single mom's and moms with the same problem.

my boyfriend and i have been dating fo almost 2 years and he has cheated on me 5 times that i know of.i care abou him deeply and i love him more then anything in he world.but i worry way to much ... i mean , i call him non stop until i get ahold of him ill look up # in the phone book for the places i think hes at, and i dont trust any of his friends. but i cant leave him even if i could i would go bak bd he makes me feel loved and makes me feel beautiful.and it breaks my heart knowing that he can live life knowing that he hurt the person he loves... ya im not the most innosent person in the world .. iv kissed a couple guys through out our time but i dont think thats half as bad as sleeping with them ya itz still wrong but common ... well the 1st girl he slept with was one of my best friends that was just dating his brother just to get to him ... ya slut but then she got him ... the 2nd girl he one he slept with 3 times.. i beat the F*** outa her ... but not only bc she slep with my bf .. but bc she also slept with my brother my sisters bf and most of my friends. and the 3 girl he slept with im trying to get ahold of but idk i don realy care anymore... im just so usto it .. i dont know what to do... yaya people will say to me break up with him .. but as you all know it is easyer said then done. so im going to try to make things better by getting us a dog that way we would spend more time with the dog and not with sumone els. right ?

ladies tell me how to get closer with my bf so he wouldent cheet on me anymore.

HI Girls - i have read the posts on this topic and feel better and I feel worse. I understand what each woman is going through. I have found myself in a rather sticky situation myself. I was married for a year (a young stupid mistake, i was 21) and am now 23 in my second year of law school. I am crazy in love in with a great man. He is smart, funny and very handsome. We have been together for five months. He has admitted to me - without being asked -that he has cheated on other girls in the past and wanted to be as forthright with me as possible. I KNOW that he loves me and wants to be with me, and I feel the same about him. I feel so lucky to have him. Here's the problem - he does have a few close female friends - and one slutty ex gf - who randomly text him. I have peeked in his phone before and I admit it and regret it bc i know that he thinks it means I dont trust him. I really dont know if I do trust him. We spend almost every night together (5 out of 7) and we are legitimately best friends - we are open and talk about everything and enjoy everything we do together. I have no tangible evidence - no emails or texts - but just a hunch bc he texts alot and loves AIM but I do know that he really does spend a lot of time texting with his dad and sis and some regular friends. He is not defensive when i ask him about it. He says that it really hurts him that I think that. I know most people say trust your instinct, but I dont want to trust myself right out of this guys life. When we talk about it, he says its the accusatory behavior and snooping that would put an end to us - which he does not want. Does anyone have any thoughts? Am I just being over paranoid or do you think your instinct is end all be all? Thanks for any help!

do not buy a dog. . .it will not work. .. and the dog is the only one who will suffer - do not use him as a medium between you two. Its the same thing as having a baby to keep a guy. just dont do it

Oh girl,
Sorry you're having this trial and this is what it is, especially if you continue to stay. You can stay and hope eventually one day he will stop, I won't say he will stop and can't say he will not ever stop. Buying a dog will not help, you want to have a bond with him and choosing a dog will be more for you than him (it's in our nature as Women to love and nurture); and you desire to give this but want someone or “the dog” to return that and show he is grateful. I’m going to make this one short Love, if he knows he will ALWAYS have you then he will give up NOTHING. In other words, he’s cheated and been caught, he knows you love him (and he could very well love you) why should he stop? His actions have not caused you to stray away from him; so what you kissed a guy (not taken lightly, I’m sure he would FLIP A TRIP if he thought you took anyone of those kisses serious), but you did it for attention and probably revenge (believe me he knows that). I’ll say this; start getting him to respect you 1st (at the least, then HE will work on his cheating, only if he feels there is something in jeopardy). You have to be WILLING (even if you end up NOT leaving) to LEAVE, you have to desire something else and get tired of crying, him saying he’s sorry and hurting all over again. PLEASE EARN HIS RESPECT. No matter what anyone says, no matter what you hear, see or what he does, you will only leave when your heart tells you it’s time.

Shannon

Law School & 23...
When I read your post the first thing came to mind was "Love Addiction". I think many men and women should research that phrase. As for your situation; not really sticky and your hunch is natural (in my opinion). This great guy has confessed to you that he has cheated; any women would have the same feelings as you. I would take his words as honest until he or you find reason do believe otherwise. Trust him; you have not been given a reason not to. Since you guys are open with communicating with each other you should tell him how you feel about all the texting and IM conversations. I’ve stated before, if the conversation is not suitable for your ears to hear verbally then it’s probably a conversation that he shouldn’t have in your presence as well. Let him know and tell him why, if he loves you (as you do him) he will give you that respect. This guy probably never wants to cheat again, but I wouldn’t wait for him to mess up either (don’t hold in your thoughts about it, tell him what you think when you where thinking it and why). He probably wants this input from you and spends much of his time with b/c of wanting to be the “great” guy as you see him. Cheating doesn’t always mean “unloving” or “incapable” of love.
Shannon

Law School & 23...
When I read your post the first thing came to mind was "Love Addiction". I think many men and women should research that phrase. As for your situation; not really sticky and your hunch is natural (in my opinion). This great guy has confessed to you that he has cheated; any women would have the same feelings as you. I would take his words as honest until he or you find reason to believe otherwise. Trust him; you have not been given a reason not to. Since you guys are open with communicating with each other you should tell him how you feel about all the texting and IM conversations. I’ve stated before, if the conversation is not suitable for your ears to hear (a verbal conversation) then it’s probably a conversation that he shouldn’t have in your presence at all. Let him know and tell him why, if he loves you (as you do him) he will give you that respect. This guy probably never wants to cheat again, but I wouldn’t wait for him to mess up either (don’t hold in your thoughts about it, tell him what you think when you where thinking it and why). He probably wants this input from you and spends much of his time with you as well. He probably wants to be the “great” guy you see. Cheating doesn’t always mean “unloving” or “incapable” of love.
Shannon

Hi Shannon -

Thank you for the advice. I tend to agree with you about him not cheating. I really don't have any reason to think he is and when we talk about it he gets upset and makes a valid point - that had he NOT told me he had cheated, and lied to me, I would trust him more. Which, in a twisted way is kind of true. I went home for the holiday weekend and that put things into perspective for me, and I feel better about things. He doesn't believe me that most of the time its not him I don't trust, its this one girl in particular. She will do ANYTHING and I do mean ANYTHING to get his attention. We used to be friends and we had a falling out when she heard we were dating, and has since been non-stop texting and IMing him. The texts are stupid one word responses but she is relentless. I'm almost tempted to wave the proverbial white flag and tell her she wins. I can't keep up with her nonsense anymore and I am just too tired with school and work and everything else.

Thank you for your reply!

Law School & 23..

You’re welcome! I’m glad my experiences can be helpful to my GIRLS
Don't throw up the "white flag" yet, that's exactly what this chick wants. Let me tell what "your ex-friend" won't be able to stand: If you have been making contact with her, STOP; the fact that she knows, that YOU know she is around is SO satisfying for her. Completely stop acknowledging her and the result will be that she is going to stoop so ridiculously low to let you know she is after him that HE WILL push her away for you -believe me it works. If something does happen between him and her, she is going to go out of her way to let you know if she THINKS you don’t already know. Once he sees just how she is trying to get you to leave him, he is probably going to trip on her and completely stops dealing with her. Men will cheat with women who can keep their mouth shut, but if she starts to tell ALL and contacting you, he will avoid this chick like a plague! DONT LET HER SEE YA SWEAT 
-Shannon

Hi Shannon-

Thank you again. My friends have been pushing me to say something to her like to get her to back off, but I'm hesitant for those exact reasons. However, I don't think that he is able to see *not yet anyways, what she is really doing. I hope he does soon. I do not want this to come down to a "her or me" situation, though I know he would pick me, but I would always wonder who he is texting and IMing and if it was her or not. He is a good guy and I no longer have that gut feeling, but I wish this girl would shrivle up and die. mean - I know, but seriously. Thanks!

OMG I do not think I can read one more reply or post about this bf cheating crap. Are you kidding me? Do you all have such low self esteem that you honest believe you love a man so much that is CHEATING on you with ANOTHER WOMAN and you can't "bring" yourself to leave him!?? Are you EFFIN' kidding me? What is wrong with you guys?? Listen to you all whine like a bunch of freaking babies-grow some balls and walk away and know that there are a million other men on this earth that will do all the sweet little things your current jackass of a bf does and then some. Someone that will honestly LOVE you and NOT CHEAT on you. How can love you and someone else? Are you seriously all that freaking NAIVE?

Not to be a harsh bitch-but you all deserve to be cheated on because you allow him to violate you that way. You all allow him to walk all over you and disresepctful...the moment you gain some self respect and walk away-he might actually miss you-and by then you'll be off and married with someone who won't do the same..

I think a movie that can put it all in too persepective is called "SLIDING DOORS" with Gwenthy Paltrow-it shows both sides of her decision, if she had walked after catching him cheating and what her life turned out to be, and if she didn't walk while he was still cheating...very interesting outcome-it may help you realize-if i leave i still have plenty of time to gain my self respect and move on!

Ladies start loving yourself, and quit depending on some jackass to fullfill your life. When I was finally content being single (and trust me ive had my fair share of cheaters)-was when I met the man I was destined to marry-and after 10 years of ups and downs, my man still has never cheated on me...and never will

I can say from experience that when your boyfriend cheats on you that it aint a pretty site. You think you love this guy and he SAYS he loves you too but the whole time he's out bein happy with someone else. My boyfriend and I were together for 3 years and we were planning on getting married the year I graduated from highschool. He lived in a different county than I did, so I wanted to surprise him and go down there for their homecoming. when I got there I met up with a couple of my girlfriends and we were walking around looking for him, when I found him he was all over another girl. A girl I couldn't stand, so I broke up with him but got back 2gether with him. But I've moved on now and found another man, I think every girl who's been cheated on should move on and find someone better.

TO ALL YOU BROKEN HEARTED LADIES....PLEASE DUMP THIS MAN ...IF HE IS CHEATING ON YOU NOW HE ALWAYS WILL.DO NOT DONATE YOU LIFE FOR THEM YOU WILL SPEND IT IN MISERY...I KNOW ,I HAVE WASTED 30YEARS WITH MINE HOPING AND PRAYING HE WOULD CHANGE ..THEY DONT ...WONT..CANT..THEY JUST PUT THEMSELFS FIRST,THEY DONT TRUELY LOVE AND RESPECT YOU. I THREW MY HUSBAND OUT FOR GOOD THIS TIME I AM 50YEARS OLD AND INTEND TO START MY LIFE OVER I DISERVE TO BE HAPPY SO DO YOU.IT IS PAINFULL IT TAKES TIME TO GET OVER SOMEONE YOU LOVE ...BUT MEN THAT HAVE SEX WITH OTHER WOMEN ARE NOT WORTHY OF YOUR LOVE. GOODLUCK ,SUSAN IN LONDON,

Hi everyone, I am currently going through the same situation as most of you. I have been with my bf for 6 and half years. We started dating in H.S. and made it through all that bullshit and drama. We moved in together 2 years ago and have been "happy" ever since. Two weeks ago, my BF sat me down and let me know that he's been with another girl on the side. All the times I had my doubts, I was right, but he lied sayin' he was at work and what not. I am currently trying to give it another chance, he knows he fucked up, he says it everyday and shows me "signs of his love", but my feelings are making it so hard. I talk to his family every day about the situation, they aren't talking to him bc they are so mad at him. I feel like my feelings are so diff. for him, I look at him like he is a liar and not someone who could possibly love me. Is it possible to start to fall out of love so quickly? The thing that hurts the most is that I was so ready to start my future with him (become engaged, start a family) and I hate that this is hanging over our head, I hate how this has happened. Our "perfect fairytale" has been shattered, and I don't know how to go on with this. Please help!

Hi Hun- I understand what you are going through. I think that most people will say once a cheater, always a cheater, but I think that works better on a case by case scenario. Maybe this guy really does love you and really does know that he messed up, its hard not to. I think it also depends on what type of relationship he had with this girl. If she was like another long term serious gf, then maybe you have should be a little more concerned about repetition, but if she was a one night, one time thing then its prob not as big a deal. I am a believer than ANY cheating is a huge, massive deal, but I can also appreciate that sometimes things happen. . .Either way, it's probably for the best if you take a little time and decide if being with him is worth the period of stress and accusations and worrying that is to come after something like this. . .Good Luck!

hi i kinda am going through the same thing but except mine is just starting. he said he loves me and wants to be with me and i want the same. but when i found out he went to a party and got really drunk one of his girl... friends rubbeed her titis on his face and he licked them i know its not much but i have a mental picture that is just killin me. thats not the worst yet he also stayed the night with her he says nothin happend that it did not go further because she passed out cuz she was realy drunk as well.. idk what to believe should i belive him n deal wit wats going on.. i know once a cheater always a cheater but i just cant bare be with out him i relly do love him!!
ash.

my fiance and i have been together for 2 yrs and 5 mo. now. We have been through some ruff times, anywhere from having an argument to being homeless together for 2 months and not knowing where our next meal was going to come from. So we got real close during the hard times. Our parents werent really around..we both have no dads...so we only had eachother. It all started when i found out he had made this profile thing on his phone, i freaked out and he said he was sorry and didnt think it was a big deal but would erase it. I said it wouldnt have been a big deal if he would have just told me. That was that. Then months later I told him i was going to make a profile for HIM AND I on my phone just cuz i was bored...well these text messages would pop up every now and then saying " 20 visitors" or "you have 8 messages" which i couldnt even read bc they wouldnt open, and when it started to get annoying i tried to delete the profile but for some reason it wouldnt. Next thing you know i was looking through his email (i didnt hack the password, i know it bc i made his email for him)which i delete spam for him... and i saw an email from some site and there was a chick asking him "where have you been?" i of course flipped out! i find the site figure out his password and look at all the conversations he was having with the girls. some said, you look pretty, i like jack daniels...gay stuff...then one in particular he said that broke my heart was, "im lookin for someone who will stand by my side" i slapped him in the face and told him what about me? i stood by him through thick and thin...........he told me the reason why he did it was bc he got jelouse from those text messages i was getting saying "you have 20 visitors" or "you have 10 messages" or whatever. I told him i couldnt even check those messages and even showed him i couldnt. Plus i reminded him that this was something i told him i was gonna do that i wasnt hiding anything.........!? So that was his excuse. He pleaded, i cried, you all know the story and I gave him a second chance, well third i think but whos counting anymore right. Soooo..............................he couldnt have a cell phone for a long time....then i started to trust him with our cell phone (we only had one) and then eventually he got a new sidekick phone like a month ago........well i was checking out his new phone in the car when i was being nosey in the messages and I saw that he had sent a picture to that SAME PHONE CHAT WEBSITE!!! I had him pull over and explain......let me explain first tho. I have this ex who always pops up on yahoo messanger saying he loves me and misses me, but he jokes around and stuff, i just ignore it tho and ask him how his wife and son are doing to remind him he is retartded lol. Why dont i erase him off my messanger you ask?? well this is what i wanna explain, since i tell my bf everything i said "hey babe, i have a friend who use to be my ex on this yahoo messanger and he tells me he still loves me and misses me but he just jokes around...how do you feel about that and if it bothers u i will delete him off. of course he said delete him. So no problem i proceed. Well for some reason it would say error -7 and wouldnt do it...i kept restarting my computer over and over but it wouldnt delete. i end up throwin my hands up and giving up. I thought well if he tries to talk to me i will hit the ignore button everytime..which i was. Well annyyywayyyssssss....while i was out of town he was on his sidekick and i had left my yahoo messanger signed in on his messanger...well ex pops up with "i miss you" and "i love you" like always.....my bf freaks out and never mentions anything to me.....instead he went back to that site, bc of his jelousy, and started up again...this time i wasnt sure if he was talking to anyone, he said he wasnt but who knows. Now Im layin here on my bed while he is 2' away from me sleeping on the floor.................i love him very much. I just dont understand why he didnt talk to me?? and when i ask him he says he felt like he couldnt bc i told him i would erase it but didnt...which wasnt my fault, bc i couldnt delete the dude! Please give me advice before tomorrow evening, I dont know what to do or think.................

Ms. Confused

HAY IF YOU LOVE HIM YOU HAVE TO TRUST HIM BUT AS FAR AS THE DRUNK PROBLEM SOMETIMES WHEN YOU DRINK YOU CAN'T CONTROLL WHAT YOU DO AND DTUFF DATS NT MEANT TO HAPPEN HAPPENS I'VE BEEN IN THIS SITUTATION BUT WHAT YOU NEED TO TELL HIM IS EITHER LEARN HOW 2 CONTROLL YOUR ALCHOL OR DON'T DRINK U CAN 4GIVE AND 4GET IF YOU REALLY LOVE HIM FIGHT FOR WHAT U WANT N DON'T GIVE UP EASY BOO (NO HOMO) I KNOW THE FEELIN AND IT HURT BUT LOOK AT IT LIKE THIS 1ST TIME SHAME ON HIM 2ND TIME SHAME ON HIM KEEP YOUR HEAD UP MOMMI THINGZ WILL GET BETER SINCERLY KIKI

ugh i dont know what to do about my boyfriend. hea said that he loves me and well i dont know what to do... he told me that i was the first one of his gfs that hes ever said i love you to but i dont know what to believe. my bestfirend told me that he said that he hopes that i cheat on him soo that i dump him but do i believe her who might have huge crush on him or do i believe him. only when i talk to her i hear these things. and he went to this party tonight and hes sleeping there and there are alot of like drunk girls there and he took a drug that makes you really horny.. i dont know what it is called but he told me that he was gonna take it and he told me that he wasnt gonna do anything but like what do i do?? do i dump him or do i keep going out with him and wait for another thing to happen. i love him and he said taht he loves me too but like i dont know what to do. help me please i need advice!!

I too am in a similar situation. My bf and I were together for about 5 years and lived together for 4. I moved to two different states with him, left my friends and family, and endured law school while he got his double masters in a town and state that we both hated. Two summers ago, just when it felt like everything in our relationship was going so well and almost like a farie tale...I felt so loved and so wanted and so sexy...I found out that he had been having very inappropriate conversations on both the phone and facebook with an old girlfriend...a woman that I had met before adn who was also engaged to someone else at the time. I found out because he had been using my laptop and left up his facebook page so I saw all of the messages and conversations they had been having togehter...they were so sexual and talked about fantasizing about each other and how much they missed each other and talking to each other. I freaked out and was so hurt and angry...I drove straight out to his work and waited outside for him to come out and confront him. He knew something was wrong right away and when i confronted him he admitted that things had gone too far, that he was sorry,a dn that it woudl stop right away. Bottom line is it did not stop...I lost all confidence in myself and all trust in him but I could not leave him...I love him so much and could not even face the prospect of being alone and without him. From time to time I would listen to his voice messages, check his texts, and look at his email. Just when he told me that it had stopped and that he only loved and wanted me...i would find something else...a text, a voice mail, something that provied that they still talked to each other and that the context of those conversations was sexual in nature. Every time another piece of me died and I sank further and further into depression...somehow I graduated in the top ten of my class and used school to distract me from the constant feeling that he was cheating on me. This continued...not just with his ex (although she is still the main one) but with others as well. We had to move in with my parents after graduation...the stress of the bar, living in cramped quarters,boredom, and my depression made things worse...and i found out once again that he was talking to his ex and telling her how much he wanted to see her, how much he missed her, how sexy she was and that it was killing him to put on this false face in front of me and my family. The thing is that every day he would look into my eyes, kiss me, and tell me that he loved me...that he thought about our future together. In early December, he showed up one afternoon with a box and crying (whether it was sincere I don't know) and packed up his stuff in front of me and left. he had gotten a one bedroom apartment in another town behind my back and would not even tell me where he lives (I still don't know). He said taht he needeed some spaace to think about some things, that he loved me, that he hoped I would understand...he has repeatedly said that this has nothing to do with his ex and that he can't think of anyone else...but i guessed the password to his email and have been checking in on him. He has been lying to me all along...he constantly writes to her...I know that the day after he left me he had sex with her and that they see each other all the time, talk all the time, and are sleeping togher...yet he constantly tells me taht he loves me, that we will be back together, that he always thinks about me, and that no one else has been over to his place...it is such complete bull****...but i can't confront him about it yet...i am not ready...all i feel is pain and betrayal...but i love him so much it hurts...i ican't even breathe...i know that is messed up but i don't know what to do...i am not ready to do what i need to do

hi i have been with him for 4 yrs now, his been doing this to me wen ever i see love text on his phone i call the number he ask the girl to insult me he is in the university but am not i realy want to let go but i cant please some body help me.

its so hard to read these stories. noone can understand how it feels to be the one who loves someone so much and find out that they are the one that has to end it. I feel heartbroken thinking I am the one who said "NO MORE" I drank too much wine and decided to phone the stupid cow infront of him....stupid I know but him and her were texting behind my back he had her name in his phone under a guys name..i called her when i read the first text.. she was like texting him all through the night when he was sleeping always in caps.."I MISS YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH" PHONE ME ANTIME YOU WANT.. she said "we are just good friends i just love him to bits" I told her i didnt really think it was fair then spoke to him and said its too much.. we split up i was raging then i got so sick couldnt sleep eat and our son was ill i went over and begged him to come home I said this is stupid if its just a silly texting friendship then lets put it behind us and so he did..... till last week i read a text which said..."morning babz, hows the sexiest man in the world today, Im so luvvvin youxxxxx"
I got the thats just her trying to embarass me.. i said well you said you hadnt heard from her since new year cos i asked and this was last monday... so anyway yeh i gave him back my engagement ring and suggested we sell the house.. but then lost it last night phoned her and screamed its over i cant take this bullshit anymore......dunno what will happen next and...his names on the title deeds..i aint going anywhere its my house cant tell him to leave either so.....wait and see if he hides at his mommys and blames me for being suspicious and jealous??? Yep that old line...makes me laugh

hi,i dont know if u bekieve in god the father of us all.if he is never meant to be ur husband u cant force him and theres someone out there who is looking for ur love but u r wasting your tym crying for spilt milk.Wen God leads u to the edge of the cliff,trust him truklly and let go,onl;y one of two things will happen:he will catch u wen u fall or he will teach u how to fly.Remember God opens doors no man can close and God closes doors no man can open.Thank him for wat u hav,believe in him for wat u do and trust in him for what u want.please theres is still life for u.

my sister dont ever let love lead u into temptations,whatever he is doing he knows that u r going to forgive and u r wasting ur precious time.dont u think someone can love u better or have u been a victim of love b4? wake up my sister i was like u b4 but i asked god to give me strength to live without my boyfrient,break the damn relationship and show him u can do without him.stay positive in everything u doing.gud luck

guys i realy undstnd the situation u find ur self in.im also havin the same prblm my bf is cheating,disrespectful and irresponsible,he let hs gf answer hs 4ne,insults me etc.i hv had enaf,i knw i deserve better so i took a risk n left.nw im hapy and he is alwys calin me i luv hm bt i dnt wnt hm in mylyf again so can u.leave hm b4 is 2 late n rememba THERES NO OTHER U,BUT THERES ANOTHER BF

hi everyone,
when i saw the msgs written over here ,i think im not only the one whos suffering from so much of difficulties ,(1)i was in love with one guy he was same age like me ,,,and our love affiae was going from 2yrs ,suddenly 1 day he called ans said he cant marry me (we made love too)....i felt so bad ,,and the (2)guy who knows of these all things he started proposing me ,he said i know this man cant marry u ,,but i love so seriuosly , i cant live without you and wen he said these all things ,i said about the thing watever happend with my xboyfreinds he accepted me with all ,he said mistakes happens ,he introduced me to his family memebers ....he came to my home he spoke to my dad ,,,i really felt that finally i got a person who really loves me ...and we whr for 1 half yr together ans we made love too...b4 4 months my father called their parents to tallk reagrding our marriage they ignored,so there was some family issue came ,,and this guy said i cant marry you nothing is important for me more than my parents ,,,,i was shocked,i cried like anything i ussed to call him ,i begged him please dnt leave me ....after some time he said he loves me a lot,he will think about the marriage ,,,i asked him y ur telling ur thinking ?he said i love u dear ,but i cant leave my parents ...(3)then one of his freind use to talk with me he came to knows about evrything wat ever happend with me and with his best freind...so this 3 guy told me i will marry you ...now we start talking ,,we start sharing everthing with each other ....but i dnt know now i cant beleive these guys ...he introduced his family members and he said he loves me lot ..now im compromise with everything ,,,i cant forget the things wat happend with me ,,,now im crying inside my heart i dnt show to anyone ....now i dnt know whether this 3 guy is really loving me or not !!!please suggest me ..i dnt want to cry any more i want to be happy .i want to forget all the bulshit things wat ever happen

hi everyone,

my boyfriend and i had been together for 10 months, he is not cheating on me. he told me that that girl doesn't meant anything, he is having fun talking, but i'm the love of his life. It's horrible being with him like this, i'm having a hard time saying "no" to him. i always do everything for him.... i meant. everything...! what he's doing to me right now hurts me so much, it hurts so much that i can't even cry.. he's not sleeping with her or anything, (because she's all the way over sea), they are always on the phone and had this Hi5 (it's like myspace) thingy, i assume she doesn't know that he has me as a "real" girlfriend. anyway! everyone of my friend tell me to leave him, but it seems to be the most difficult thing for me to do... what should i do to be able to let go?

I know exactly what yu guys are going through. Me and my bf been 2gethr since june 28 07. Before we made a year he went to serve the country in the airforce. I thought i was his one and only but wen i came 2 visit him on base. His emails proved me wrong (yes I'm nosey) . There's this one ugly broad he talks to. I asked himm bout her he tells me he only uses her for her money. She brought him a 400 dollar gun. And speaks 2 him from morning til night. Everydy. Of course i made sure she did know he had a wifey. But that didn't phase her. At times we argued. He would leave. Come bak 4 in the afternoon the next day. To find out he was wit her. I don't know what to do. Cuz i have a great deal of love for him. And don't wanna lose him to a ugly broad who can't get a man of her own

I just glad im not alone. As i sit here crying i just want the pain to go away. we have been together 4 4 years and he met some girl online and slept with her. He told me the next day and he was really upset. I love him but im probably an idiot for styaing with himj. we have deceided to go to couple counsleing, i hope this helps, he even tolf his mom which is a big step. im so scared i hate this feeling i already missed work for a day. i just want to stay home and give up my job and school. i know im not perfect b/c i even put my self on a website and was talking to a guy but i never met him and i told my bf and this is what he did to repay me. i just dont know what to do. im just glad im not alone and there are girls out there going through what im going through. he smoke ev ery day and i broke his bong, which felt good. i just wish life was easy and all i hope is god helps through this difficult time. thanks for listening or reading this.

What can i say. I'm in the same boat.. My boyfriend of 9 months now cheated on me numerous times. With his ex. Unfortunately, although I knew from the start that he had just gone through a recent breakup, I still went into the relationship. Sad thing is, "her" (the other girl's) best friends are "his" best friends. I could not for the life of me steer clear of the girl. We always saw her.. sometimes it was even planned! She planned her appearances soemtimes with the help of "their" friends..

But anyways..

Long story short. He's saying he's done with cheating on me.. even went as far as moved back to our home country first (he's just waiting on me now. but im waiting for my passport renewal.) so that we can start a new life.. BUT.. here's some things that have gotten me thinking..

Ever have friends that tell you give it time so you can think..?

LISTEN to them. I always opposed because I HATED the feeling. I hated EVERY darn second that would pass and I wouldnt be next to him.. But seriously.. time apart is helping me with making this big decision of moving to a new country and starting everything over..


Here are just a few of the things that my close friend gave me as advice and although I cant FULLY bring myself to break up with my boyfriend just yet, there's a part that's slowly growing inside me that WANTS to.. that is SICK of the lies. SICK of the pain. SICK of having experienced it in the first place, especially with someone I loved so much and gave my everything to. Sick of just having to live everyday in fear knowing that although I've forgiven him, there's permanent damage there that can't be undone.. a permanent phobia.

Anyways here's the advice from them... not so much as advice.. but it's more like the sentence that they told me..

BTW, this was AFTER they found out that he cheated on me for the last time and we made up. This was when he already left for another country and I decided to speak with some old friends again.


- "The way he looked at you.. it was probably the same look he gave her.. the way he kissed you.. he probably kissed her in the same way.. the way he touched you.. he touched another girl just like that.. can you really live with a guy that can do the same thing to two girls at once, and there you were giving it your all for him.. there you were loving him and only him.. could you really?"

- "I'll be straight with you.. You have two options the way I see it.. If you're going to move back you might as well tell him 'Hey, if you're going to cheat, dont break up with me just to cheat.. just go AHEAD and cheat on me, it's okay!' because it's obvious that if he does it to you again there that you'll still take him back and you'll be living a hellish life forever wondering if he'll do it again. OR TWO, you stay here.. you let him stay there.. you be miserable for.. say a year.. you have friends.. we're here for you.. we'll go out.. keep you busy.. and you'll move on in no time and eventually find someone new.. your call"

- "How does someone who repeatedly tells you that he loves you go and do that in the first place"

I mean that's just a few of the things that they told me but you know... talking with friends really helps out a lot... i suggest it for all girls/women going through this type of situation.. and keep asking yourself...

DOES HE DESERVE YOU AT ALL?

because honestly.. that's what i keep asking myself right now and it's making me analyze my whole situation and take everything into consideration...




... another thing... how do you tell your kids that the way you and their dad's first year was just full of lies, deceit and cheating... isnt it usually a cute story of how you guys fell in love.....

like the saying always goes... once a cheater.. always a cheater..

my boyfriend is living proof of that.. cant even count how many times he's cheated on me.. dont know if it's just because of the long distance between us now that hes actually showing that he cares... but i really dont want to have to go there, waste money, time, effort, and have this some kind of hope that he's changed .. only to be heartbroken again if he falls back into habit and cheats on me again..

my boyfriend is cheating on me too. he went to florida to visit friends and now he admitted to me that he hooked up with another girl. it makes so mad and sad and i cry every night not knowing what to do. he makes me feel so good and a feeling ive never felt before, and im so deeply in love. i cant let it go even though all my friends think im stupid and dumb but they just havnt felt the feeling before. as he makes me feel terrible, he makes me feel so good. i cant let it go, as much as i want to. i need some advice!!!! help me
thanks.
Jen

Hi

I advise you that leave him and forget him. you must busy and be happy in fornt of him. and try to find another boy.

I was the one who started off with "we're all in the same boat" about two-three posts before this one.
..

if it is one thing we ALL have in common, it's the fact that what we FEEL for the other person is so incomparable...

can we all honestly say that maybe at one point or another we've either told our friends or thought to ourselves that this person that we are with cannot even compare to anyone else because of the way that he's making us feel?

"He makes me feel so good, so loved (other than the cheating part), that I just never wanna be without him...."

and you know what.. the more I read about other people going through the same situation as I am, the more it starts to open up my mind..

The more I used to DESPERATELY hold on to that "REASON" (of why I shouldnt leave him), the more it drove me insane.. because I kept thinking to myself, "no NO, i love him too much, i never wanna let go. I'll take that pain"..

and I hated that.

because deep down.. i knew how pitiful i was... i just didnt want to do anything about it.

I hated KNOWING that he has every control over me.

That I would take him back everytime he did something wrong. He knew I would. Because he had me wrapped up around his little finger. And I hated that.

Read this forum over guys. Then read it again. At some point... you'll start to think... your mind'll start to open up.. even if it's a little at a time...




I'm not to the point where I can let go...

I still have that little sliver hope I'm clinging on to.. it bugs me.. but I'd like to move on soon... whether it's with or without him..

aahh im in same boat with all you guys..

im 18 and thought this dude really loved me we been going together since senior year but at same time was was seeing each other he had a girl on side and she was a freshman.. i would see her all over school and see them together than next thing i know he would come and kiss me i was like ugh what am i doing..now me and him are both i same college and they still stay in touch..he says he loves me and even gave me a ring..but i saw pics of them kissing other day..and it hurts..i keep confronting him and he keeps denying it and saying i have no trust in him so it cant work out..so its like he switching it up on me to make it seem like im at fault..but today i finally emailed the other girl and confronted her about the whole thing..im tired of playing the 3rd wheel..

all you girls can do better..i know you guys may love the dude so much but no one deserves to wonder if their spouse is out with the "other chick"..he is just leading you guys on..and if he cant drop the girl for you than he doesnt deserve you..

I'm going through the same problem
I'm only 16, was with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years, we grew up together.
Last week i found out he was hanging around with this other girl..I didn't realise he was cheating on me but had suspisions.
I went over his house to sort it all out & everything was good towards the end of the day. I'd even given him a scrapbook of all our memories. He said he'd stay away from the girl.
She lived next door to him and had just moved there.
Then when i got home i was talking to her & she told me that he'd just been over to hers crying saying that he still wants her, she told me everything, that they had sex twice, had been texting each other, and that he said he was single.
I haven't talked to him for 2 days now (which is good progress seeing as i used to talk to him like every hour), i'm determined to get over him.
Don't get back with the cheaters.
I've even cut my wrists over him. Keep yourself busy.
Things do seem to get harder as the days go by, but everyone says it will eventually get easier, the first few weeks are the hardest when you actually come to terms with the fact he's not in your life anymore.
Good luck, we'll do it together.
xx

Me too u guys me n my bf have been together for 2 yrs n 10 mnths n he asked me to marry him like 3 weeks ago but then a week ago we got mad at eachother for stupid things and when we made up i asked for his phone and he gave it to me and i saw that he had messages with this gurl and i found out that he was gonna go out with her on friday and i got mad becuase while we were mad all i was doing is working and going to school while he was talking to other girls augghhhhh... so i told him not to go with her on friday or it was gonna be over and he said "well i feel bad that i made her buy the 40$$ tickets and yea" i said well screw her do u really rather RISK ur relationship than wasting her money??? so yeah i think he is going with her but i dont know what to do he sais he loves me but i cant stand that i mean for some people it might not be a big deal but i've never done that to him so why would he do it to me? plz tell me what to do cuz i love him and i cant see myself with another guy!!! plz leave a mssg at my email or sumthing daymaydy@aol.com thank yiou sooo muchhh!!!

sorry only read afew comments but ive been with my bf 10 years we have 3 children together, i found out recently that he cheated on me 3 years ago i also found out through messages i'd seen, he denyyed it at first but later admitted after i trashed the house, he swaers hes told me the truth about wot happened but questions keep going through my mind like was it more then once and other similar questions i really dont know if i should believe him it hurts so much it feels like my whole world is falling apart ive not been eating properly ive been stressing at the kids alot even tho i know its not their fault, i do still love my fella but i just need to know from him that it wont happen again and theres just no way of him proving that to me, i want to forgive him but i cant forget i just want this pain and heartache to go ive even felt suicidel cause i cnt take it no more as any1 else felt this way and wot did u do?

gurl u need to leave him alone he aint gud 4 u. if he cheats now he gon always cheat.

Hey my boyfriend is cheating on me too and i do not wanna leave him i love him but i cant do this no more but i love him he is bout to go to jail and im stressing my hair ouyt because im gonna lose him and i cant leave with out him..
={..

dont even no how 2 workk thiss :| haha my boyfriend cheated 2 he went 2 this music place for like 4 days and had sex with someone a couple years older than him,, been with him for neary a year and before he went i said do u wana have a break cause i do so u cant do nothin behind my back, and he said dont be stupid il not do anythng please a wanna keep goin with u :L,,he used 2 be like always chasin after me and stuff and i wasnt good 2 him,, but soon as he slept with her he dont want me nomore, ni i realise hi much a love em duno if i can live without em :( dont no what 2 do! I seem him a couple of days ago nd it was quite emotional cause i realised how much a loved em and couldnt be with em ,, but now hes been ignoring me since her! and treating me really bad,, i duno why hes doing that wwhen hes the one who done somethng wrong, e wont even give me a chance 2 try and be good 2 him because i never realy have been, but i wana be good to him! dont no y after he done this but y doesnt he want me when it was the other way around before,, and now im doing the chasin?? Y dosnt e care after e had sex with at slut!! :L haha x

hey my boyfriend is doing the same thing to me and am worry cause I don't never see him anymore he claim he is at his dads house. So do you think I should Cheat him the same way he doing me now or what.

hay girl
keep strong and dont let him pull you down with his lies
my bf did the same thing but worse he proposed to me and was cheeting on me the whole time i was praying to god that if this was right to marry him let me know and if it wasent tell me and he did 2 day befor our big day i had a butifule dress a widing cake the whole nine yards and i found out he was screwing his ex
she want to hawaii cous she told him that she was done with his bull shit and a day befor our wedding he flew to hawaii and fucked her got her pregenet told her he loved her flew back me at the weddding site said he was so excited and it made me too so its time to get married he is at the end of the isle and i walking towards him and i heard behind me stop!!!!! it was hs ex she told me every thing and i mean every thing we bolth walked well ran down the isle after him and brat the living shit out of him and i mean beat the livein SHIT out of him like 3 knocked out teeth a brocken arm and bolth black eyes the we bolth left togither and went out want shoping and had a few to many shots of vodka so please investagate befor you make eney plans and to all you ladies your better of single !)

hi..
i also has been cheated by my bf a few times, and keep giving him chances to be beck together.

now i'm taking all decision in my own hands. i found out that he cheated on me twice with a different girl. so i dumped him. the next month, he called and text me saying that he wants me back and regret with what he has done. for me, a cheater will always be a cheater no matter what. and there is no more chance for him anymore.

i promise myself that when i'm with someone else, if he cheated on me once, i will dumped him straight away. no more second chance. if he just can't let me go, i will cheat on him twice the amount that he cheated on me.

to all the girls,

if the guys really loves you, he will cherish everything that is about you and willing to take the risk to be with you. respected you just like the way you respected him.

if you're current bf is cheating on you, leave him. you deserve someone who is better than him. your live without him is much more better. you will feel that the burden that you have been keeping because of him cheating on you. LEAVE HIM AS FAST AS YOU COULD.

I can understand iam going threw the same thing

listen some man don't know what they want until they lose the best thing they got so female & and male stop worring about all the problem u and your mate is going thorught remember the good timee ya'll have

hey i know exactly what all you are going through also i have been with my cureent boyfriend for a year now and i have been cheated on 6 or more times i just really do not have the heart to let go..
it really must be one of the most difficult things to do to someone you love and see everyday and obviously it will impact your life greatly them not being there.. i am still with my bf although he has cheated on me 5 or more times i cant let go .. God says always forgive even if the person keeps doing wrong.. i am terrified of the thought of not waking up and him being there and dont like imagining my life without him either way it would be difficult.. my advice to you is if you are very happy then stay but make it very clear how much it upsets you witch can help after my boyfriend heard i got diagnosed with depression he hasnt cheated for the past 6 months.. so go with what makes you happy ..
but remember the saying a cheater always cheats

you're right.. ive been through the same pain also.. and i dont want it to happen again...

once a cheater always a cheater.. its up to you if you want to go through the same pain again..

god damm im a guy heart broken. and my girl broke my heart and i know you prob are like wtf are you writting in here. but i just want answers. my gf cheated on me while i was in juvy how fucked up is that? or am i suppose to take it like it never happened. i hate her so much because i went through so much during juvy for an accident i never commited. i hear you all ladies stories about ya boys and damm i wish i find a lady like you girls. to be true is the only thing i think everyday i wake up. to keep her on my mind every sec it pass to keep me satisfied by her. but now the hoe hurted me and its her second time. i wish some of you girls could give me an advice and nothing mean. im srry about your stories. i feel so heartbroken too

To every one on this blog... all the girls that have posted and are being cheated on and hit and abused emotionally and physically and treated like trash. STOP IT!

Every single one of us has a choice.

We have the choice to respect ourselves.

Self respect is everything and by staying with these lying cheating assholes all we are doing is showing them that we do not have any self respect! And by having no self respect we are saying to them that they dont have to respect us either. And they dont! Which is why they keep cheating and keep hurting us, no matter how hard we try to please them and no matter how much we do to show them that we love them. They will keep cheating and lying becuase they dont repect us. Becuase we dont respect ourselves..

Yes it will be hard initially and it will be lonely and you will go to a place so dark and depressing that you wouldnt wish it on your enemies. But then one day there is a tiny crack in the darkness. and a little while later the crack will get bigger. and not long after that the crack will turn into a hole. and that hole represents your self respect. And it is growing. and with each and every day the hole will get better and the darkness will disappear. Until finally one day you will wake up and you wont feel a thing anymore. you will be renewed.

And you will never allow yourself to go to that dark place again. becuase you have too much self respect. and no man will ever treat you like that again. becuase he will respect you. and if he doesnt you will see it before you even get close to the guy and you will walk away.

Girls please believe me. i know it is hard. i have come out of that dark place and i have just stepped into the light. and i went to hell and back but now i am a strong beautiful independant woman and i will never let anyone hurt me like that again. becuase i respect myself way too much. and you should too. BE STRONG!!!! RESPECT YOURSELF!!!

I KNOW WHAT U MEAN N I WENT THROUGH DA SAME THING KIND OF BUT JUST 2 HEAR UR STORY DON'T U THINK TWICE IS ENOUGH....I THINK U SHOULD LET GO 4 A MIN SO SHE CAN FEEL WAT U FEEL N 2 IF IT WOULD HURT HER THAT U REALLY NOT MESSING WITH HER N SHE REALLY HURT ED U BUT IF DAT DONT WORK 2 ME I WOULD FEEL LIKE SHE DIDN'T CARE...HOPE THINGS WILL WORK OUT 4 U

U IS O SO RITE...BUT WAT IF UR LOV IS SO STRONG 4 DAT PERSON U JUST NOT READY 2 LET GO BUT U WILL HAVE 2 DEAL WIT DA HURT.......U R RITE

I TRULY UNDERSTAND WHERE U COMING FROM I'M N THE SAME SITUATION U N I BEEN WIT MY BOYFRIEND 4 5 YEARS N I BARLEY SEE HIM THROUGH THOSE YEARS BUT I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I'M NOT READY 2 LET GO HE CHEATED ON MORE THAN 6 TIMES BUT I'M NOT READY 2 LET GO YET.....GLAD THINGS WORK OUT 4 U MY BF KNOWS HOW I FEEL N HE STILL DOES IT

I TRULY AGREE WITH U ....I HAVE BEEN WITH MY BF FOR 4 IN A HALF YEARS IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT....HE HAS CHEATED ON ME TWICE I BROKE UP WITH HIM BUT HE STARED CALLING ME TELLING ME HE WANNA B WIT ME HE SORRY SAME O SHIT EVERY OUTTA NIGGA SAY BUT I TOOK HIM BACK STUPID OF ME BUT THROUGH THOSE YEARS WE BEEN OFF N ON DONT REALLY SEE EACH OTHA WAT SO EVA WE LOST CONTACT 4 2 YEARS N WE GOT BACK 2GETHER BUT HE WAS DATING SUM1 4 THOSE 2 YEARS TOLD HER DYE WERE OVA SMH BUT HE WAS STILL FUCKEN HER I HAVENT SEEN HIM SINCE WE GOT BACK 2GETHER WE BEEN DATING 4 3 MONTHS HE BEEN LOCKUP EXCUSES 2 NOT 2 SEE ME BUT NOW HE IS NOT MESS N WIT HER BUT I KNEW HE STILL TALKS 2 HER I TALK 2 DA GIRL SHE TELL ME SHE GOT OVA HIM N HE PLAY ME N U 2 N U NEED 2 LEAVE HIM ALONE BUT I THINK SHE DON DAT JUST 2 GET BACK WIT HIM....I BELIEVE THEY R STILL TALK N BUT I DONT HAVE DA PROOF........I'M LOST DONT NO WAT 2 DO JUST NOT READY 2 LET GO BCUZ I'M SO N LOVE WIT HIM

NO CLUE OF WAT 2 DO....I BREAK UP WIT HIM N SAY LOVE DONT LIVE HERE NO MORE BUT STILL WANNA B WITH HIM I KNEW HE WANNA B WIT ME BUT SCARED 2 2 B WITH ME BECAUSE I MIGHT HURT HIM

my boyfriend who i love so much cheated on me the other day...
we broke up than i realised he fingered another girl one day after we broke up,
and he went out with her a few days later.

i took him back, im so crushed and so in secure still.
im just gonna hold on and hope for a brighter future because i want
my life with him.

he beats me up so much its so hard, but i love him and im loyal to us.


relationships are one of the most terrifying things you can get into
when they dont turn out right.

Hi Everyone,

I have a boyfriend for more than 3 years. I never expected that he will cheat on me as we are always together... as in every day.. I never doubted him even once... but just this August, we had a fight. On the same day, we spoke to each other, and he told me that he don't want to hurt me.. but things had changed now and he doesnt love me the way he loved me before. I thought I have suffocated him.. but the following day, i tried to surprise him at work but found out that he was going out with this girl who he work with... My whole world collapsed. I tried to follow them, and went somewhere to have breakfast. But I lost them and tried calling my bf, when he answered his phone.. I have asked him where he was and he just simply said that he was with his guy friends having breakfast.. I said he was lying as I saw them and followed them... Immediately he searched for me and found me. We talked and I wanted to break-up with him at that time (although I really don't want to do that 'cause I love him so much)... He said he can change and he advise me to think it over since we've been together for 3 years and he don't want to throw it all away. We went to their house at that instant and we talked he beg for forgiveness and promise that he will change... He even said that he will resign from his work just to prove that he was sorry. He cried infront of me on his bended knees.. I have asked him when it started and he said just last month. They became close and everything went that way, that was his explanation. He said they know what they have right now.. I have asked him if he loves her.. He just said that he has an intense feeling for her than me because what they have was still new. I told him if he want me to stay, he better end what they have.. I went home and I was so devastated. That night, I received a text msg from my bf and he said that he already ended what should have been ended. I tried to contact the other girl but no avail... I just found out that he IM my bf to ask if that's my number and I was trying to reach her. My bf and I talked again and he wanted space, because of what had happened. I am not sure if he want's to get out of our relationship... I cried but he said he's not saying goodbye... and he still loves me.. we still he each other but only once every week... but i don't see any effort on his part anymore.. although he text me when he gets home and call me at work...

I would appreciate if anyone of you could advise me on what to do... I love him so much and I think I can't imagine life without him... It feels like he just waiting for me to say the goodbye word.. But he still say that he loves me.

hey im a 17 year old lad and my gf hasnt cheated on me so i cant imagine what your going through ,i wish i could help every single one of you but the only thing i could say is tha you need to either have constant communcation with yur partner e,g knowing where they are etc and therefore giving them a last chance or just tell them its over and cut of comunicaions completely. unfortunatly its a harsh reallity we all must face. i know this seems silly but my girlfriend has told me off for for not being with girls like other girl mates but all i want to do is be with her the other day she slept at a lad mates house but she has never slept at mine .it makes me feel stupid and confused ?anyone got an answer for that ?would be thankfull:)

phil x

I SERIOUSLY THINK EVERYONE HERE SHOULD READ THIS AGAIN! AND ACTUALLY PAY ATTENTION!!!

I was cheated on once. He wanted to mantain both relationships, HELL-NOOOO! He was out the door, out the patio, out of my life. Did I suffer? yes, did I cry? yes, does it still hurt? yes, but it is more of a can't believe the guy cheated on me hurt (cause seriously, I think the world of myself). I am in a MUCH better place now.

QUOTE "OMG I do not think I can read one more reply or post about this bf cheating crap. Are you kidding me? Do you all have such low self esteem that you honest believe you love a man so much that is CHEATING on you with ANOTHER WOMAN and you can't "bring" yourself to leave him!?? Are you EFFIN' kidding me? What is wrong with you guys?? Listen to you all whine like a bunch of freaking babies-grow some balls and walk away and know that there are a million other men on this earth that will do all the sweet little things your current jackass of a bf does and then some. Someone that will honestly LOVE you and NOT CHEAT on you. How can love you and someone else? Are you seriously all that freaking NAIVE?

Not to be a harsh bitch-but you all deserve to be cheated on because you allow him to violate you that way. You all allow him to walk all over you and disresepctful...the moment you gain some self respect and walk away-he might actually miss you-and by then you'll be off and married with someone who won't do the same..

I think a movie that can put it all in too persepective is called "SLIDING DOORS" with Gwenthy Paltrow-it shows both sides of her decision, if she had walked after catching him cheating and what her life turned out to be, and if she didn't walk while he was still cheating...very interesting outcome-it may help you realize-if i leave i still have plenty of time to gain my self respect and move on!

Ladies start loving yourself, and quit depending on some jackass to fullfill your life. When I was finally content being single (and trust me ive had my fair share of cheaters)-was when I met the man I was destined to marry-and after 10 years of ups and downs, my man still has never cheated on me...and never will" END QUOTE

I recently became allergic to peanuts, but peanut butter is my all time favorite lunch/snack/dinner. Maybe I should just keep eating it until it kills me b/c well, I love it so much????

Sorry for the sarcasm, but really??? he beats you up, cheats on you, makes you feel like crap, and you remain loyal to the relationship b/c you love him???? GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!

I have the same problem. My boyfriend was going to leave me last december, but then i read his phone and i confronted him and he felt like an idiot and cried and realized how much he loves me and swore to me that he would never do it agian. BUt I got on his facebook to put up the pictures he asked me to put up not knowing he was also on his facbook and found him talking to his old babysitter. She's 35 and buys us stuff...they were talking about his dream about her and him having oral sex...she is going to text him later today so they can talk more..then she said the rule is what? and he says when she says come over...he goes over and fucks her. I am at a totall loss. I left my family for this guy...we have been together for almost 2 years...he is the love of my life...he tells me evryday that he can't wait to marry me and have kids and we hve a joint bankaccount and he keeps swearing that he doesn't do anything like that naymore...that he used to talk to her like that becuase he likes to see how far he can push things...i love him so much...what do I do...he's at least cheating on my verbally...read his phone and he toldmy best friend that he had a dream aobut her too...my fear is that he could be cheating on my physically too...i have no idea what to do...

Im sorry 4 responding so late but when I read this I just had to say something........girl it seems to me that this guy is playing a cat and mouse game with you one day he wants u ......the next...he dosent. You can either be the cat or the mouse do u really want to keep doing this? This guy does not deserve someone as loyal as you are. So I c ur options as this:
1) you can stay and c what happens but I think u already know what will happen
Or......
2) you can leave him. Seriously leave. U shud go somewhere, plan a trip and clear your head don't answer any calls, texts, or emails from him scare him and show him what life can be without you. And whatever you do stand strong and DON'T TLK TO HIM it will pay off in the end....
Good luck

My boyfriend is cheating on me with MEN! so it could be worse for you!! At least you know you have less of a chance of catching AIDS off him than i do off mine.. i can't leave either.. i love him too much, he's turning me into a psychopath.. I am trapped.. get out before it's too late

Hi Chloe and author of my boyfriend is cheating,
I dont know how I came across this site but I immediately statred reading your post. I too was or still is in a relationship where my boyfriend was cheating onme staying out til all hours of the night it even got to the point I saw him about 7 days a month a we lived together. I saw the signs and the beginning and just like the two of you I didn't want to walk about because I lovbed him..Now it's been 11 years and 3 kids later.. I have been unhappy the entire time together ...What I'm saying to you is get out life is too short youonly get one life to live so why be unhappy..Men are suppose to compliment you not fulfill you..Get out before any kids? he he really loved you there wouldn't be another woman..Just my thoughts..P.S. we're still together I'm tryign to move away from him with the kids...It's not easy looking for a place that accomodates a family of four and is affordable.

lized that he like porns and watch it whenever I'm not around. I hate porns so I told him if he loves me more than the porn he should stop watching it. He said okay but I guess he couldn't control it. we had some fights over it but finally i gave up and realized if it makes him happy I should not care a lot. At least he wasn't cheating on me so I started to think positively. One day he got mad about something small and said he don't want to be with me. I asked him why he never said anything. So I was like okay lets just take a break and see how things go. But after a month he realized he loves me and asked me to be back. I didn't wanted to because i felt like he disrespected me. But I just love him soo much so we got back together. We live together but we don't have sex. I wanted to wait it until marriage and he was fine with it too. We just kissed, cuddled and hugged each other. I think that's the reason he needed porn often. I had no more problems with it coz I can understand that. We work in a same place but just different shifts. There was a new host at our work. I was at home. Him and her spend time at work talking to each other and he told her that he was single. He comes back home and still act like he love me. I had to study for the test so he asked me if i could go in the other room to study coz he was sleepy. I said okay. but he wanted me to go coz he wanted to text the other girl. Early in the morning I got up and woke him up to go to school. I saw a text notification in his phone but he had locked his phone with a different password. So I asked him he has a message. He left to the restroom ignoring me. I had a technique to open his phone so I opened it. there was a girl's text with good morning sweetie:).....i got mad because i didnot knew who she was. when he comes back I asked him who the girl is. He turned all red and said the new host. i asked him how he got her number coz she's been at work for just 1 week. He said he don't know why she text him. i got all depressed coz he wasn't telling me the truth. i had a test but I missed it. I hid his phone. He left for school. I text the girl back asking why she thinks I'm sweetie and try to get things out of it. I text her back making myself as my boyfriend saying that I have a gf and i still love her. Sorry about lying to you. But she insisted to still hang out sometimes because she thinks he is caring. I text her back that we can be friends but not too close so she said okay. after that I put her name in my number in my boyfriends phone so when he text her I can get the message without letting him know. Coz i wanted to know the truth. I talked to him when he came back and he said i suspected on him and he don't want to be together. he broke up with me and told me he never text her. so I cried and all depressed went to other room. after a while I get a text from my bf asking if i got any messages from his phone coz he left his phone at home. And I get the message and i said yes. he told that I did it because I'm jealous of him talking to other girls. And I reply him back why is she jealous? isn't she your gf? then I got a message no I have no feelings for her, we just live together, i don't love her at all....i fell apart...i just couldn'y believe it. Why did he wanted to lie to me? Is it that guy always go over for sex than anything else that's why he did it to me? I love him to death but I just can't spend my life happily with him. I cared for him. I talked to that girl at work and told her what the truth was coz he had lied to her. But he is a very nice guy and said that if she thinks about dating him I won't be mad with her because I don't want to go back to his life. I have cried a lot...alot...cannot even tell....I want him to realize his mistakes so that he grows up and make wise decisions in his life. Even tho I love him I want it to come back to him so he realizes how much it hurts...please help me....I live with him...i can't even hate him...but i want to...i'm not that kinda girl....if i love someone i love truly and it's just killing me to death....i have no interest in living....i'm not gonna kill myself or anything but life's just too null....i want to be happy....i don't think I can trust anyone.....please help.

Thank you.

hey,
my bf is also cheating i dont know what to do.... i feel stupid and weak and i know everyone is laughin at me, were ment to be engaged but how can u be,,,,, everyone says that if someone cheats they cant possibly love you, i used to be a happy person who loved me but know i hate me i hate the person i have becum i am constantly trying to make him happy i have lost weight dyed my hair constantly making or trying to make maself look better the thing is everyone around me tells me i am beautiful etc,,,,, except the one person i want i need to hear it from. i dont know what to do hes done it soooo many times i am tired of it i am seriously tired of it but why cant i get the strenght to end it.... i have lost friends because of him i have choosen him everytime, not only does he cheat but he beats me aswell and throught everything it seems i am always saying i am sorry for something tat i have not done i dont know when it will stop will it stop when he beats me to death, i just need to know how do u walk away..........??? how do u move on.......???? i am physically tired

To all of those whose boyfriend is cheating on you and know it,

You can't make the cheater change. He needs to want to change for himself. He obviously doesn't want to. The fact that you know about the cheating and still accepts his lies means that you are ok with the situation. Because deep inside, no matter what he says, you know he is full of shit, and deep down you think you don't deserve any better.

I have one word for you CODEPENDENCE... The reason why you can't leave is NOT because you love him. It is because you are codependent to his sick behaviour. You may have feelings of love, but mostly they are insecurities and fears that keep you with him.

If he is texting another girl... he is cheating. If he is seeing another girl or flirting, he is not respecting you... If he is seeing another man, oh well, you fill in the blanks.

If you think the cheating is bad now, when he can still loose you what do you think is going to happen if you marry him... you think that'll solve all your problems?

I am telling you this because I was engaged for 2 years to a guy that treated me like a queen, we were best friends... but he was shady and lied too. Texted girls and gave out his phone number like he was single... I loved him too, I used to think that it was my fault, somehow, although I never did anything wrong. Until I faced the true: I can't control what he does. That is his choice. However, I can control what I do. If he won't give us other women, then I will give him up. He tried to get back to me, cried, went to therapy with me, made promises... he just couldn't change his lying... so I finally said NO MORE.

I am in the process of recovering myself. I was drained, aged probably 8 years while I was with him, had stomach aches everyday, was depressed, thought of suicide... It's not worth it.

I am still trying to figure out why I felt attracted to him in the first place, and why do I feel the need to be with him. But I keep going back to the way he makes me feel when he lied, and I know I am better off without him.

I recommend a book called LOVE IS A CHOICE, and I recommend to go to therapy to uncover why you feel you need to put up with this crap to begin with.

I am sorry if this is not what you want to hear, but I can only be honest and wish you the best. The rest is up to you.

I feel am in the same boat. I have a six month baby with him and it been almost two years. My four year daughter was from a different dad that beat me. We were together for almost four years. Therefore he done with but as my boyfriend now, i feel he cheatting on me or holding something out that he does not want to tell me. He has his Iphone and he is on it 24 seven, he has it locked and he wont tell me the password. Its like he hiding something in his phone because if he wasnt he would trust me and let me know. Anyway he drinks every night, he said he was an alcolic (spell it wrong) when he goes out to the bar he get so drunk that he comes home with throw up all over the place and then falls to the floor and then I would have to clean it up. Well couple day ago he brought tickets and only one, he did not even tell me. I feel so ashame because i do not know what to do. He pushes my button for fun he said and he does not know why. I cook and clean, get up with the kids every day, give them baths and so on. He does not do nothing, but maybe do the clothes. Plus he goes to the bar and flirt with girls in front of me and state it his cousin which it is not.
Can anyone help me or give me advice please

ive been with my boyfriend for 3rs and we have a 2yr old and like you hes always on his phone txtng 24/7 and he too keeps it locked n wont ever leave his phone alone in 3yrs ive been with him hes cheated on me 1s before n heard some rumors about this one girl that used to work with who he still talks to ive tried everythng to get him to stop talkng to her n to this day hes still txtng her it drives me insane so i understand how u feel bcuz i cant leave him either its not that im codependent but im really in love with him we were engaged about 1mnth ago but not anymore now we are just boyfriend n girlfriend n when we calld off the engagement i was planing on leaving but then his mom died on may 5 2010 n i feel like he needs me more than ever since he has no mom n no dad even thou he keeps hurtng me i cant hurt him he swears hes not being unfaithfull but i kno hes not telling me the thruth he respects me enough to not flirt or or hit on females infront off me but id rather he wouldnt doit behind my back either but i cant change him a good friend told me do what makes u happy if u wana be with him n put up with his shit then stay n hope n pray hell change eventualy n he will mature but if this is making u miserable then do what is best n leave n show him ur strong with out him n make him realize he will never find someone like you to cook,clean,do laundry,etc n when he sees ur good with out him n that hes lost you hell be crawling back to u but set the rules straight n make sure he knows that u will not hesitate to dump his ass n find someone better....

OH MY FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKEN GOD IM IN THE SAME FUCKEN BOAT RIGHT NOW!! IM ALOT FURTHER INTO IT 6YRS. IM SO DONE, I DONT KNOW IF I HATE MYSELF MORE THAN I HATE HIM. BECAUSE IVE BEEN SUCH A JACK-ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! DONT PUT UP WITH A CHEATER AT ALL!!! HE WILL ALWAYS CHEAT IF U LET HIM. ITS LIKE YOUR LETTING HIM MURDER YOUR SOUL AND GETTING AWAY WITH IT IN COLD BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!! WE AS CHICKS ARE MUCH MORE BETTER THAN THESE COCk~SUCKERzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZ!!! GOOD LUCK CHICKz PLEASSSSSSSSSSSSEE BE STRONGE AND DONT LET A MAN FUCK U OVER!!!!




SINCERLY WOUNDED,

Oh my god I feel the same way--i brought my boyfriend 1300 to find his 26 yr old daughter now I think he is cheating with his baby moma--great seeing we have a 3 and 2 year old together --i feel like such an idiot to stay--but his mom died a year ago right when i was about to leave him and now i just kinda feel obligated because he says he has no one else. The daughter wants nothing to do with him but he is sneaking and meeting with his baby's mother behind my back and calling and texting her because i find the numbers in his phone--am i stupid or what

go n cheat on him enjoy ya self

my boyfriend is cheating on me with anorther girl

Pack your bags and get the hell out of there....Don't let that idiot take advantage of you.....leave..he has no respect for you.

Tanman

I been going out with my boyfriend for 3 years. I been through so much with him. I think he has been cheating on me with his exgirlfriend for the longest. I been told her baby is his, he denies it. She always calls my phone or his, when we together. There is obviously something going on with them both, for her to still be around. The sad part, is that I simply ignore it all, and pretend like nothing is going on. I know the best thing is to let him go, is so much drama with him. But, is hard so I blind myself.

I definitely am in the same boat as all Yall... Me and my boyfriend lives together he says he loves me like he never loved another female but why does he constantly cheats on me. He cheat on me so much it kills me inside he denies it but I found out all the texts and pictures te it all but Wen i ask him he makes me think I'm crazy. I love him so much I just wish he would stop cheating our relationship is good mostly we laugh joke talk about everything we have our ups and downs but we are overall good. Everytime I tried to leave he would beg me back and say he need me he can't live without me and i fall right back. Then a few weeks I look in his phone and see the same stuff new girls each time... I hate this why can't he just be loyal to me like I am him

I know wat all yall r talking about my man has this stripper friend the wants him so bad n he know she do he would sit there n text all day long with her n I'm like this since u text her all day go n stay with her I can not stand the bitch I want 2 beat her ass so bad

life can be hard more hard if you stay that idiot man,I got saim problem,my boyfriend contantly cheting on me even slug me off,hes nevere please me,he just come when hes lonely or need something.I just bee with hem because im alone,but he never make me feel happy.Now time to live hem,I deserve a nice kind man whos I can trust.YOUR BOYFRIEND TREAT YOU LIKE A DOG,,,,BECAUSE EVERY TIME YOU LET HEM TO COME BACK TO YOU.I THINK YOU SHOULD TELL HEM....NAFF,GET ON HES LIFE AND FUCK WHAT HE COULD ,YOU DONT CARE.I KNOW ITS NOT EASY I HAVE TO DO SAIM.WEE BEEN USED,YOU AND EVERY WOMEN WHOS BEEN THAT SITUETION DESERVE A SPECIAL MAN WHOS TREAT UOU WELL,AND ONLY WANT YOU NO ONE ELSE.X

Ladies...Leave them! Even if it seems like you will love no one else, you will....the reason they keep treating you that way is because you are not setting any boundaries. Hitting you, cheating on you, disrespecting you--its unacceptable and you do not deserve that. Treat yourself like the goddess you are...if they want to go be an immature child and go have random affairs without the commitment of a loving relationship--set them free and make room for the one that's a keeper. YOU DESERVE IT! <3
Rosie

I guess this is the perfect place to vent.. I've been off and on with my 'boyfriend' for four years. We stayed split up for nearly two years and in that time he was dating someone else, and they got engaged. A few months ago he said he left her and we got back together. But he's saying that she is pregnant so he has to see her every once in a while and she doesn't need to find out about us. That was suspicious enough as it is. And I'm an idiot because many people have told me that they are still together. And not too long ago I drove up on him with her in the truck... If you know what I mean. They didn't see me, but I saw them. And I've seen him a few times driving around with her. All this because she was pregnant and I didn't want to cUse it to where he couldn't see his child. Well, he told me that she had quit smoking and everything for the baby, so tell me why I just saw her puffing down a cigarette, in his truck. Now I'm starting to believe she isn't pregnant, but that's he's just with us both and needed a legitimate excuse. You'd think I'd leave him, I mean damn I'm only 18. But I can't. I love him too much. He's got some kind of hold on me and honestly, I don't like it. He makes me feel like shit 90% of the time, talking to all kinds of other girls on te Internet and making me feel worthless. But it's the other 10% of the time that makes it so hard to let go. I don't need this and I deserve so much better. But I can't let go. After catching him Doug on this I just try harder to make him stay. I need help.

-jazmine.

Dear Jazmine, indeed, you deserve something better, as you already mentioned by yourself. However, I can well understand you...love makes dependent. Try for yourself to meet him less and less and with god´s help you may succeed to love him less. It might happen that he will feel that he looses you and will suddently try hard to get you back. If you then want you can go back but please beforehand say clearly what YOU want and what YOU don´t want and don´t accept. The best will be to pray to Jesus to support you and give you strength...in case you believe in him. You are very precious. If you don´t regard yourself to be precious and to have the right to be happy how should he see you like this? He knows that you are dependent on him. Be good to yourself..who else should?

Hey everyone..I was in your shoes but got help by asking a MAN for advice. Yes it was the best move for me. A man knows a mans feelings when it comes to cheating. Asking a man for advice to why u think you're man is cheating will give u anwers! This is some advice I got from a man that helped me and I hope it can help you.
You are the fish in the pond right now. He has his fishing pole just realing you in and throwing you back whenever he wants.
Realize none of this was your fault. you gotta respect yourself or other wise your giving him the go ahead to treat you like dirt.
He is going to do what he wants reguardless of you. If he wants to cheat, there is nothing you can do to stop him bc he will find a way. You have to stop lying to yourself. Stop telling yourself things you want to see happen. You have to prepare for what's coming. If my girl would've never left me when I cheated, I would still be cheating today, but since I realised what I lost, I earned her back and changed. Start telling yourself the truth. Stop lying to yourself and saying "he loves me, he can change" instead Repeat things like "I will stop loving him, I'm going to leave him and find better, he doesn't love me" and you will see how repeatition works!! Your brain will start to believe it. Cry if you have to whenever you have to but DO NOT let him see you hurt. Act like you're ok. Men love to see a woman hurt bc it means to them they still have control. Show him who is in control! Ask men for advice NOT woman...men and women think differently and once he sees your gone he will realize what he had! When you start to feel sad " don't be sad its over, be happy it even happened!" That should make u feel better. That and telling yourself the truth by repeating things like "I will move on, I'm no ones rag doll, I always deserved better, there's so many other men out here, he doesn't love me and I will find someone who will!!"

Stop being the fish in the pond that he keeps realing in and throwing back whenever he wants. Start being the damn shark in the ocean that he does not want to fuck with ladies!!! :)

I've been in a situation where my man cheated on me constantly through our relationship... IT DOESNT GET BETTER! we were together almost 3years i had a baby with him moved country was there for 2months and he cheated again... Seriously save urself the bother move on men who cheat simply aint worth it. Get out while u can and stop relying on someone else to make u happy! love doesnt make a relationship. like they say let it go and if it comes back to u then its ment to be but dont settle for second best!!! YOU'LL ALWAYS BE A MUG IF U ALLOW SOMEONE TO TREAT U LIKE ONE :)

Hi, My name is Christine and me and my boyfriend are in a relationship but now after three years now i think he's cheating one me i need advice

The first guest, I truly feel sorry for them both. I really feel sorry for the guy. I seen her kind berofe. Acting like she so scared of him and all this nonsense. The problem is that she wants him back and he moved on. So now she uses the kids against him and screams out abuse. Get her some help immediately. And as for the father he needs to ignore her and take her to court so he can pay child support and get something on paper saying he has the right to see his kids.

I will suggest you try to have more fun with him just by going out to clubs or bars, see that he can have fun with you also you know. He is probbaly just looking for someone to have more things in common. Don't approach him yet, not until you try having fun, then if it continues approach him and tell him that you know what is going on. Maybe you'll want to try a open relationship, i doubt it cuz it sounds like you really like him. Therefore a good solution is letting him know that you can also play that game and post things up for hook up. That will make him realize that he doesn't' want to loose you.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years and we have lived together the whole time. I just found out today that he is cheating on me. From the beginning he's always told me he loves me and can't wait for us to buy a house together and have a family. Just a few weeks ago he told me I'm the only good thing in his life and without me he has no reason to live. He acts like he is happy and in love which is why this is such a huge shock and I can't understand why he would do this. We never fight, I'm very good to him. All his past relationships he was treated like crap, I do not do that. I take care of him and make sure he knows he is loved everyday. I cook, clean, laundry, I rub his feet everynight I take very good care of him. I had a gut feeling that something was wrong so I looked.in his email and found emails between him and a female escort service and found his listing on a website looking for escorts. He plans on meeting her for coffee tomorrow while I'm at work and taking her to a cabin later in the week when he told me he was going fishing. I don't know what to do. Should I go to the cabin and catch him in the act? Problem is I love him so much we have all these plans for.the future together that we were just talking about YESTERDAY. I know he loves me but I can't see why he would do this. It's not like our sex life is boring its not at all. I don't know what to do.

Quit being dumb....if I were you iwould go to the cabin and suprise both of them...then they boitrh will get slapped...and then you leave hi for good...you do not need that in your life YOU CAN DO BETTER!!!!!!!!!

I googled cheating boyfriends and ended up here.We have lived together from the start almost and its been almost two years. Our relationship has been rocky at best for the last year. He has no sex drive due to a severe trauma when he was a teen and gets angry when I ask for it..(nothing like when we first met) He was being especially mean and when I asked if he we cheating he denied it suggested we have an open relationship. For my sake. WTF? thats not something I want.. It really threw me for a loop when I found emails on facebook he left open to a co worker who is married taking about how good her body feels.. How they should run away together.. that I apparently knew about it.. etc.I emailed her and filled her in on that one and warned her to stay away. I called him on it right away. He rushed home from work with promises of counseling and reconnecting. He said that she was getting attention from her husband and she was feeling neglected, he filled that void for her. EXCUSE ME? You mean he treats her like you treat me? two months later he says counseling is to expensive and he has started picking fights with me again today. Right after showering me with gifts on his holidays. He returned to work today. I have copies of the emails and believe her husband should know whats going on.

Well me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years and i just dont know where i went wrong. He constantly cheats and i forgive him over and over. I found things on facebook and other things in his emails and he seems to not care that I know. I cant find myself leaving because im scared to be alone. Am i doing the wrong thing by hoping that maybe one day hell change, or should i pack up and jus leave. He claims that he has a problem and he cant control his sex drive. Is that an excuse or is it really a problem that needs to be addressed