I spend my holidays alone, sometimes without meeting a single person. Food and the TV are my only friends. I don't know why I choose to eat instead of going out and meeting people. However, it is easier to understand now when I have gone up so much in weight. I just want to cry about myself. After work I go home and eat. It gives me awful pangs of conscience. I lie in bed and gobble down sandwiches, cakes and goodies. Every evening I decide that tomorrow I will eat salad instead, but when evening comes it's just the same. Please help me, what can I do?
Sometimes, I dream how my life could be so different. Many have commented that I have a beautiful face. If I wasn't so fat I could be loved, have many friends and live a wonderful life. Such is my fantasy, but can my life ever be like this or will I be permanently enclosed in this mountain of fat? Is this a midlife crisis?
In the short term, eating is the simplest way out. Going out and meeting people is always combined with some risks. For example it may not be as pleasant as you had hoped, but to choose only the easiest way, i.e., avoiding people and eating makes your situation even more difficult. In order to get out of your situation, very purposeful work is required and it can be easier to make the changes in small steps. Begin with meeting people in places that are not so difficult for you today and gradually increase this, step by step, so that your ability to manage situations which you are afraid of, increases.
You say you will stop eating tomorrow. That is a method which leads to failure. You can continue to postpone the necessary change in lifestyle for the remainder of your life. Think instead: I am now going to eat sensibly. I must set to work on my problems instead of running away from life's difficulties with the help of food.
Overcoming ShynessIt is only with hard work that you can gradually change your situation to something positive. You must learn to work on solving your problems and daring to feel unpleasant and painful sensations without drugging yourself with food. With this method your life can become a success.
You dream about how your life could be different. If you solve one problem at a time you will discover that you can come a good bit on the way. You will also be compelled to accept the fact that everything is not a rose garden and even in the future, life will have problems and difficulties. However, instead of seeing this as hopeless, you can see it as a challenge with a series of problems which can be gradually solved. Instead of daydreaming, your phantasy can be used to prepare the next step in your personal development.