Positive Sayings, Positive Affirmations, Positive Thinking; Positive Attitude

I find that I have some anxiety when speaking, especially in social situations. I do not have this problem at all when speaking in front of a group or during a professional presentation, where I am confident and secure in my knowledge of the facts. I feel most anxious with groups of women, or other cliques or "in crowds," who I feel are judging the way I interact and present myself socially. I was criticized very heavily by my stepfather as a child, nearly on a daily basis, and somewhat also by my mother. I think my anxiety is linked to this somehow, but I'm not sure how to deal with this now in my adult life. What can I do to manage this better?

Answer:

Through affirming ourselves we can reach a certain state of mind. Unfortunately, we too often "affirm" ourselves destructively which makes things more difficult for us. This happens automatically. An example of bad affirmation is: "I am embarrassing and ridiculous". But by becoming more aware of what we are doing, we can choose to influence our behaviour in a more constructive way.

Here are some examples of affirmations (thoughts which you can tell yourself again and again):

I am happy, today I am happy, today I am really happy.
I am really charming. Everyone loves me.
I, Mary Johnson, succeeds marvellously in my social life.

People who are optimistic about life, who think more about the positive side of their life, actually tend to be more often healthy.

Think of a half-full glass of water. You can say that it is half-full (optimistic thinking) or half-empty (pessimistic thinking). Negative thoughts cause you to believe that they are more true than they really are. If you always reject other people's ideas, blame yourself, unnecessarily argue with what other people say, you will be more unhappy and other people will avoid talking to you. Scientific studies show that optimists are more happy with life than pessimists and actually will be more healthy and less often be ill.

Pessimism and optimism are often self-fulfilling prophecies. They cause you to act so that the result is good or bad depending on how you think about them. Be realistic, see the options you have in life. Some people tend to think that one particular problem means that everything is bad. One particular problem can be solved or circumvented, and it does not mean that you cannot manage other issues better the next time.

To criticize children constantly is not a constructive pedagogic method. Parents who encourage their children help them to succeed More Both criticism and praise influence one's behaviour. The best method for raising children is based on praising good behavior and ignoring misbehaviour.

If one has not had the best childhood possible, one must try to help oneself. So, affirm what you want to happen. Never repeat to yourself your father's criticism. It is in your mind, but you don't need to use it. You can invent new affirmations that can help you to reach your goals. Repeat those affirmations many times every day, until they start giving results. Always accent the positive, eliminate the negative.

Some people make us feel bad and other people make us happy. Listen to your heart and try to avoid those people who make you feel uncomfortable.