am i bipolor or more.

hi i dont really think im going to hear back from you but im tryin anyway.my whole life has been nothing but depression. as long as i can remember anyway.with short term happienes hear and there.it was really bad right after high school, i tried ending my life because my whole life was gone anyway i pushed all poeple close to me away.every one hatted me they all thought i was on drugs, and that hurt. because i wassint.just allways felt like i dont belong in this world. im not accepted i want to dissapear, any one i go to doent understand me.or wont even respond . is it the way i write. im not very edgucated, so that also sucks .to make a long story short , when ever somthing good is around me i seem to kill it. i self distuct all good in my life.im 27 yrs old now and i dont even know how when what happend i should be able to support myself , but i cant.my brain tells me im only 18,its horrible, lost more than 8 jobs had to move back with parrents 4 times this is the lastim tied of tring.i just sleep as long as i can so i dont have to face anything.or dont sleep at all because thoughts are flying though me i want brain sugery please end it.i went to some drs and was given zoloft that stuff made even worse. and other meds that didint do any thing at all. i gave up with drs , but now need somthng not for me but my parents.no ins is there such thing as free help!!

Depressions are treated with cognitive psychotherapy or SSRI medicine. If you cannot afford therapy, you can buy or borrow a self help book about treating depressions with cognitive psychotherapy.