I have been dating a guy for three months and I am very concerned about his depression. He has a history of alcoholism and symptoms of depression. He has been on an anti-depressant and has recently stopped taking the pills. He doesn't want to be on pills and says he doesn't want any help. How can i best support him and help to convince him to help himself? Is it best to just continue coddling him or give him space to discover his own answers?
Dear Ali !
It depends very much on you. You seem to be attracted by this guy. You know he has a history of alcoolism and is vulnerable to depression. Stopping antidepressant medication is not at all a proof of rational behavior. So he behaves more or less like a little child, isn´t he? If you are willing to take care for a little child, you might want to coddle him. You should expect a bad outcome with severe depression and alcohol problem. You might believe in miracles and he will change without therapy. I believe in miracles, but I do not believe he will change without any reason.
If you are deeply in love with this guy you should not put to much pressure on him. But : He must be willing to change to have a chance of a fair relationship. Otherwise he is still the little child and you will be terribly depressed in 6 or 12 months.