my son

If a child feels safe, he will leave his mother for a short moment already when he is able to crawl, coming back again to feel mum's safety. These short excursions will get longer and longer. Eventually the child will be able to be at the daycare centre or with a nanny, without feeling panic. Sometimes a teddy bear can help the child to bear the distance from his mother. At school children are trained even more at being away from home. Children learn also to sleep at their friends' homes and to go on school journeys.

During the teenage years, some children take language courses abroad for several weeks, and as young adults they maybe work or study in a foreign country or another town. Childhood and adolescence is a training period to become more and more independent, to be able to make it without their mothers

A child must feel that mum is close in order to be able to do things without her. If a child feels insecure, he will not be able to separate from her, fearing that something will happen to her.

If a child is sick and needs his mother even for his school education, he cannot train himself to be on his own.

You cannot leave out of consideration the fact that some mothers have certain features that make it difficult for them to separate from their children. Maybe unconsciously she has not stimulated the child to take the necessary steps away from her.

Discuss your son's problem with a child psychiatrist and see if you can get professional help. . If you want your child to be more independent, you need to start from the very beginning and try to train him when he feels confident to be by himself.

Try to schedule practice sessions, and measure how long he manages to be on his own without panic. Praise and reward him when he succeeds. Take all the time you need. Do not expect to see any progress in the short run.

A cognitive behaviour therapist specializes in this type of training.