My son is 17 and all his life he is afraid for me to leave him.He tried to work a job.He called me up crying the first day,he had walked off the job,he said he missed me to much.I can't even go to the store without him.He is a smart boy.I have always homed school him because of a brething problem he has.They tested him and said he is way advanced.But when it comes to me he WILL NOT let go.Why?
If a child feels safe, he will leave his mother for a short moment
already when he is able to crawl, coming back again to feel mum's safety.
These short excursions will get longer and longer. Eventually the child
will be able to be at the daycare centre or with a nanny, without feeling
panic. Sometimes a teddy bear can help the child to bear the
distance from his mother. At school children are trained even more
at being away from home. Children learn also to sleep at their
friends' homes and to go on school journeys.
During the teenage years, some children take language courses abroad for several
weeks, and as young adults they maybe work or study in a foreign country or
another town. Childhood and adolescence is a training period to become more and more independent, to be able to make it
without their mothers
A child must feel that mum is close in order to be able to do things
without her. If a child feels insecure, he will not be able to separate
from her, fearing that something will happen to her.
If a child is sick and needs his mother even for his school
education, he cannot train himself to be on his own.
You cannot leave out of consideration the fact that some mothers have
certain features that make it difficult for them to separate from their
children. Maybe unconsciously she has not stimulated the child to take the
necessary steps away from her.
Discuss your son's problem with a child psychiatrist and see if you can get professional help.
. If you want your child to be more
independent, you need to start from the very beginning and try to train him
when he feels confident to be by himself.
Try to schedule practice sessions, and measure how long he manages to
be on his own without panic. Praise and reward him when he succeeds. Take
all the time you need. Do not expect to see any progress in the short run.
A cognitive behaviour therapist specializes in this type of training.
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Today's date: Fri, 23 Mar 2018 21:31:58 +0100