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KOM2002 (plain)  my son

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reply Re: my son , Gunborg Palme - Leg psykolog - Leg psykoterapeut - Telefon 08-664 60 92 , 14 Nov 2003 09:25
plain my son , ****** , 06 Nov 2003 17:08
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my son
From: ******
Date: Fri, 14 Nov 2003 09:24:04 +0100
Language: Swedish , English


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My son is 17 and all his life he is afraid for me to leave him.He tried to work a job.He called me up crying the first day,he had walked off the job,he said he missed me to much.I can't even go to the store without him.He is a smart boy.I have always homed school him because of a brething problem he has.They tested him and said he is way advanced.But when it comes to me he WILL NOT let go.Why?
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Re: my son (Reply to: 17997 from ****** )
From: Gunborg Palme - Leg psykolog - Leg psykoterapeut - Telefon 08-664 60 92
Date: Fri, 14 Nov 2003 09:25:57 +0100
Language: Swedish , English


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If a child feels safe, he will leave his mother for a short moment already when he is able to crawl, coming back again to feel mum's safety. These short excursions will get longer and longer. Eventually the child will be able to be at the daycare centre or with a nanny, without feeling panic. Sometimes a teddy bear can help the child to bear the distance from his mother. At school children are trained even more at being away from home. Children learn also to sleep at their friends' homes and to go on school journeys.

During the teenage years, some children take language courses abroad for several weeks, and as young adults they maybe work or study in a foreign country or another town. Childhood and adolescence is a training period to become more and more independent, to be able to make it without their mothers

A child must feel that mum is close in order to be able to do things without her. If a child feels insecure, he will not be able to separate from her, fearing that something will happen to her.

If a child is sick and needs his mother even for his school education, he cannot train himself to be on his own.

You cannot leave out of consideration the fact that some mothers have certain features that make it difficult for them to separate from their children. Maybe unconsciously she has not stimulated the child to take the necessary steps away from her.

Discuss your son's problem with a child psychiatrist and see if you can get professional help. . If you want your child to be more independent, you need to start from the very beginning and try to train him when he feels confident to be by himself.

Try to schedule practice sessions, and measure how long he manages to be on his own without panic. Praise and reward him when he succeeds. Take all the time you need. Do not expect to see any progress in the short run.

A cognitive behaviour therapist specializes in this type of training.

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KOM 2002