Why can't I accept boys thinking other girls are pretty?

I have a very intense and unhealthy hatred for when a boyfriend (or sometimes even my dad, brother or friend--but especially someone I am dating) says anything at all about another girl being pretty. I try to keep it to myself and not really let him know, but anytime he says ANYTHING or even looks at her a certain way, I feel a big ball of hate in my stomach. I think to myself, "then leave me alone and go for her." OR "How pathetic. You could never even get her. Yet, you are with me, so I must not be very good for settling for you." It doesn't matter who the boyfriend is. I have done this with them all since I was a teenager (I am in my 30's now). Why can every other girl accept this kind of behavior from men and I can't? I always justify it by reminding myself that I never do the same to them, that I never make comments about guys because I am loyal and devoted to them body and soul. When they say a girl is pretty, I automatically think they "WANT" her, and if they want her, I must not be good enough because they already have me. I can't even watch a movie with him that has sex or nudity in it because I convince myself that he will want the naked girl. Even when he says "so-and-so is not THAT pretty," all i hear is "she is pretty". Even when he says, "my sister could never fill elizabeth hurley's shoes," I hear, "Elizabeth Hurley is the hottest woman ever, so you are not." What do I do? Why do I think this way? Everyone I have confided in about this thinks I am crazy. I don't know waht to do and I can't afford a phsychiatrist. I am scared to ruin my current relationship because I really care about this man. I can tell he tries to minimize expressions of this kind, but he is a human man, and sometimes things slip. I don't want to drive him nuts by being depressed every time he says something like this. I don't hound him or get mad. I just get sad. And I think he picks up on it. Help! Thanks!

p.s. I was a very fat kid, about 200 lbs. I lost weight and am now in the 130's. I am tall, have long hair and a pretty face so I get quite a bit of attention. I think this has something to do with my problem because I feel like i worked so hard to get to where I am now physically, that I think I should be adored more than any other girl by the man I choose to be with. How do I get over that? I am aging, afterall, and won't be pretty forever.

Everything you said, I can relate to- exactly how you said.
Minus the last paragraph about being overweight. I have been skinny all my life and have recently self diagnosed myself with a mild form of anorexia because I over obsess about food/bodyimage.
I know my boyfriend loves me and is attracted to me and in the first months we were dating, everything was exceptional. Then I 'researched' him, finding out about his ex girlfriends and going through his facebook history. I stalked the shit out of girls he used to talk to. One in particular is a model. Another, he lost his virginity to and is quite striking also. I have hunted down their photobuckets and blogs and overanalyzed everything about them, comparing them to myself, and criticizing all my flaws to the bone.
You sound like an intelligent person and I'd like to think of myself as one also. We are both obviously aware of how unhealthy this is for our own health and for our relationship. I can relate to your feelings about your time running out. I am 19 and i think this is my prime, and I am ruining it in a way by depressing myself over 'petty' things. I also envy how other females are not phased by these things. Are they blind to all the prettier girls around them? Then I question my upbringing. Perhaps if it were more stable, I wouldn't even be affected by other's opinions. It's all about self esteem. And I am sad to say you and I are lacking it. I am going to guess you mask this well in front of the general public, like I do.
It makes me so sad, because I try so hard and other girls don't try at all. I think I have an odd beauty (jolie laide)and I like that about myself, being an artist. But I'm aware of what society likes, and I KNOW i am not exactly that. This model girl which I think my boyfriend had a crush on before he met me because they spoke a lot even though she had a boyfriend, and his ex, are generically 'hot'. They are like trophy girlfriends. And I always wanted to be a trophy girlfriend because I want to give my man my everything- i want him to LOVE to be with me. I feel your pain so so much. I want to give you a hug. We are prisoners of the mind, girlfriend. Life is a mind game. Its so easy to sit here and talk about this.. but I know the next time one of those girls is mentioned, the next time Emanouelle Chirqui is on tv, i will get that SAME EXACT fucking PANG of DEATH in my stomach. It really makes you wanna yell at him. It really almost doesn't make sense. My guy also knows now when I get jealous, and he tries to filter what he says, but like you said, he's a man. I wish I could just accept that there will be prettier girls than me.
I've googled into this a lot and most responses are the same, and they make sense but they're annoying. We pretty much need to change our mindset. We are fighters, thats the thing. We want to be the best and won't settle for anyone taking our spotlight. If we were cavewomen, we'd beat the shit out of those other females.
I've come close to breaking up with him too many times because of the jealousy issue. I remind myself that those girls don't have the special things about me. They could never make the art I make and they could never understand the higher knowledge I've found. So, not to sound like every other attempt at helping you, but maybe I can ease your suffering- Don't let anyone bring you down. Hold yourself to the highest level. Know that in the end, the best will survive- and that's not a looks contest, that's a contest of the mind. The mind can be sexier than the body and face.. this is coming from someone with high standards.

hi, first off all sorry about my english. I,am Slovak girl. Really understand your problem, because I have the same problem. I,am 40, and my boyfriend is 35. I,am verry unhappy when my boyfriend see pretty naked girll in TV or magazin. Last week I find out, that my boyfriend loking video naked girl on internet... I,am very sad, but what I can do?

Duplicate comment detected; it looks as though you've already said that!

I have the same problem. Well being an African woman I have been told my whole life that men will always be men. They will atrratced to other women and are mostly likely to cheat. The worst of it all is when I get " Be patient with men, they are all like that", I completely lose it. I am impatient and very jealous.

I can't accept the fact that muy husband will find any other girl / woman prettier than me, even on TV. Which is really unrealistic. And when it happens I find it soo hard to hide my feelings, I get upset and take it out on him. So I try to remind myself everyday that he loves and adores me. And always getting jealous will only push him away. So my jealous reaction is usually followed by guilt.

I am contatntly working my jealously. I try talking to him sometimes about it, so he understands that I am trying to change, I never mean to hurt him and that I am actually hurting when I react like that. Well.... it is working process.

(Please excuse my typos)

i searched this website because i im very jelouse i can relate to most of what you are all saying, i cried when i read it because i new that i wasnt the only one. My jelousey is horrible i dont want to be jelouse but i am, me and my boyfriend cant even watch a film with a pretty girl or naked girl, if we do i will start crying saying, why do you want her so much what makes her so much better than me!, i cant controll it atall i convince my self that he wants all of these girls, even if i am watching a film by my self or a music video i will sit there crying thinking why cant i be like her, i bet he wishes i had her body, he always tells me he loves me and im beautifull but i just can accept that, theres nothing i can do to make my self feel better, i hate it, i cant even let him meet my friends because its that bad, he has only met 2, because he might fancy or run of with one of them, can anyone advise me?

I also get jelouse when i am with another boy who i have no feelings for and they go on about another girl being Stunning, its ruining my life. I never thaught i would be like this and i am. i have been with him for nearly 2 years now and i love him more than anything, hes gorgeous and so speical to me, i dont want to loose him.

Hey ya all,
I m22 male , was just reading out those text of sorrow from you ppl and I do realise how painfull it is when you see your guy being attracted to other women.
Well,
Look that is a human nature , the importance of somthng gets lost when its with you. like someone desires you so much, and he gets you afterwrds he desires some one else.
Similarly those (shiny ass models) on TV always remain a desire of men,since we cant get 'em . We like 'em all the time. (and still they are the ugliest when you see 'em off the screen, its just all that makeup and lotions that make them look SEXIER)

and the most important thing is that.. try to fnd out why does you guy like that OTHER girl. Maybe a toned up body? maybe a healthier skin...

Try to tone up yourself , get to workout on your self. Groom yourself.There are always chances of getting better n better.

and DONT GET UPSET by supposing that your guy likes smoeone else more than you.Its just your supposition.You will and always be the priority of him.Problem is that you dont realise that.
Regards

what the man said down there,, tbh it makes me feel ever worse when men say that, that what hurts me so much that my man desiers other woman and wants me to be better, i am size 8 and he said its perfect btu tthen theres size 6 witch is even better... i just want to be beautifull i want him to always want me and no one else, i want him to look at another girl and think shes nothing compared to my girl! i hate every thing about my self, absolutley everything and i cant go on like this, is there anyone here i can just talk to who feels the same as mee. thanks

wow.thanks that makes me feel like crap.he should love me for me and not want me to change. I feel as though if spmeone really loves you and thinks your pretty that he shouldn't think any other girl is pretty if they truly love you.to even look something must of caught their eye because that girl has something you don't.

i'm 17 and i've only recently started feeling this, well around christmas time. me and my boyfriend have now been going out for a year and a half and i really am so madly in love with him, but whenever i hear him say a girl is pretty or i see him just look at another girl i know its because im missing what they have and no matter how much i hear him say that im the only one and the most beautiful i think you fucking lying bastard how could i be? when theres so many gorgeous girls around! i cant even stand to watch a movie that has a beautiful woman in and when i find out about the porn hes watched when we've been away or something i go absoloutley fucking mad!! someone help :( IF ANYONE HAS A BLACKBERRY, please add me on bbm 227e3f14 someone that feels this way or someone that could offer me help because im pushing him away and i dont mean it!!

It feels so good knowing everyone whos posted here feels the same, except for the a**hole of a male, who has sadly never been in love :)