My boyfriend is cheating on me and i dont know what to do

I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we have lived together for 3 1/2 years. I love him a lot i started dating him when i was 15 and am now 21 and we are still together. Our love is strong and i know this but over the years it has faded. He use ta tell me he loved me everyday numerous times a day now he never tells me. He calls me names, hits me, leaves bruises on my arms to the point where people notice at work and ask what is going on. It's embarassing and when i think about him "loving" me i just wonder why he would do this to me. Not only does he mentally, verbally, physically abuse me but i also found out about a month ago that he has been cheating on me or talking ta this ugly girl. He use to leave his phone around me and have me answer it when someone would call and then a couple of months ago that stopped. He started acting really weird always asking me if i was cheating on him, who i was talking to or messing around with, who i was texting, accusing me of cheating on him everyday even if i were at work i was cheating on him. He started going through my phone checking my myspace but i wasnt hiding anything at the time. He also would give me his passcode to get onto his phone records online, but then when i asked for the password again he refused to give it to me. We were sleeping and i heard his phone go off so i looked at it and it was a text from her saying "good morning baby" i asked him about it and he said he doesnt know the # or anything. So i figure out his password to his phone records since he wont give it to me and go online and he has been talking ta her since june texting back and forth, calling each other. I can't believe it how could he always accuse me when he was the guilty one......but thats exactly why he was accusing me....so he didnt feel as guilty! I asked him about him talking and texting that girl and he said he doesnt know what im talking about, i told him that i looked at his phone records and he got mad at me for going through his stuff....but still lied about texting and talking to her...right in my face and i had the phone records to prove it.....crazy huh?! GUYS ARE IDIOTS~! So i text her and ask her whats going on and why there talking still since i've found out, she said well he called me once and ive called him twice...so i asked him why he called her and he lied again saying he didnt call her and she didnt call him even though she told me that they both called.....i dont get why he's still lying and denying it....i dont get it i thought our love was stronger than this and we "our relationship" was stronger than this...but i guess not!!! Since i've found out they've been talking i gave him the choice to quit talkin ta her or leave and that i cant continue to deal with this or be treated like this...he promises everyday and swears he's not talking ta her but every single day i see her # on his phone records and over and over again he lies about it.....I love him so much and i dont want to throw 6 years down the drain its a lot of time and energy ive put into the relationship!!! but i can't keep dealing with him and his shit! I'm way better than her, she is a downgrade i mean why would he wanna do this?! and how could he keep talking ta her when he knows how much it hurts me, he has me in tears everyday, im upset feeling sick and he keeps talking to her like i dont matter, my feelings dont matter, and im just gonna stick around but I cant and im not. The main reason its so hard to leave is how long we've been together and that i have neva lived by myself before and i hate being alone. I dont like going to the store alone so if we were to break up i dunno what i would do...thats my problem i dont wanna live alone and be alone and sleep alone and just be lonely....i dont get what i've done to deserve this i really dont!!!! I think he takes me for granit and i want him to know what its like to be without me, i just can't make him leave! It's hard to kick someone out who you love and are in love with, have been with for 6 yrs, and to know their going to someone else.....i dunno what to do! I am beginning to hate my life. I feel like i have no one to turn to...I wish i was a stronger person to make him leave and do whats best for me but its hard when your heart and feelings are involved. I also found out when lookin at his phone records that him and my "friend" were talkin and textin each otha a lot....which i put an end to, he lied about it, she admitted it because shes scared of me and apologized but i just cant be friends with someone like that and for the fact that she didnt tell me about it when it first started going on she let it go on for a month....and i was only really friends with her for 3 months, so with the trust being gone i decided to quit being friends wit her,..... He's a dog and i know this but i love him and have loved him for 6 years...this girl hes still talkin ta will neva have what i have and i dont see why he's riskin losin me and our relationship for her!! What does she have that he cant stop talkin ta her! i dont get it i really dont. He went through my phone again though and found this guys # in my phone who yea i did end up cheatin on him wit...but i've neva had an ongoing relationship wit someone else before. Yes i've cheated but neva another relationship its a completely different story. I mean if he gave me the option to quit talkin ta the otha guy and be wit him or keep talkin ta tha otha guy and lose him....i would obviously choose him and to stop talkin ta tha otha guy...i wouldnt want to lose him and throw away 6 years. Im hurt and i dunno what to do i really dont....this is starting to take all my time and energy it also got me started in a life that i neva thought or wanted to live which is addicted to cocaine....i do it everyday, it almost numbs tha pain, puts me in a betta mode and helps me cope with my problems...takes me to anotha place so i dont have to deal wit it...It's become such an addiction that i do it at work everyday, when i get home i have to hide it from my boyfriend but will sneak into the other room and do a couple lines. The sad part about the whole cocaine thing is i steal it from him, he makes me so mad and treats me so bad i dont care i take it from him. I just dont understand what has come of our relationship?!! I wish my life was a bad dream that i could wake up from but its not and if i cant figure out what to do wit my situation one of them is seriously gonna get hurt....i have a bad temper and get angry very easily.....i dont wanna end up going to jail i need out but i dont wanna get out.....cuz i dont wanna leave him and lose him to another girl....it's like im stuck between a wall and a rock and i can't move b/c i dunno what to do....I am leading a life of self destruction....slowly but surely my life is going down hill!!! I dont get what i did to deserve all this hurt and pain. A co-worker of mine told me that he thinks based off what ive told him from both sides that our relationship is over just neither one of use wants to admit it or actually deal with ending it and being alone...we've gotten comfortable with one and another and dont want to leave but both know its over...i feel this is true in someways because there is no trust between us we're always questioning one and another and are always arguing but on the other hand we have our good times and i can tell he does have love for me (the question is....is he in love with me??) but is that love enough to stand through tha lies, desite, anger, pain, stealin, cheatin, betrayel.....thats what i cant decide......I'm torn and wish i could make up my mind!! i want someone to talk to who understands what im going through and has some good advice or stories to share....plz help me.....

me and my babys father been together for 4 years.about 5 months ago i cheated on him the biggest mistake of my life but we talked about it and he told me that we were going to work it out and start over but 2 nights age i just find out that he is cheated on me with his ex girl and he been with for about a month now. it feel like i lost everything in my life he was my best friend the first person i'v ever had sex with he say he still love me and care about me and dont ever want ne out of his life but he told me that he was not going to stop untill he feels that he can trust me again i just doin know what to do at this point but feel guilty it

I hope that everythings fix we yall!

I was with this guy for a long time. Head over heels in love, never had a clue thigns were bad. We lived together and everything. He gave me a ring. He had a DUI so I dropped him off at jail. The next day I talk to his other girlfriend. The one who everynight when I work until 11, he has over until 10. They had sex on my bed everynight an hour before i got home and did the same thing. He had a bank account with her, he clamed the clothes in the closet were his ex and she needed to bring boxes to pack up all her shit. He would clear out everyhting in the bathroom everyday before she came over. Every night when he was with the guys, he was screwing her. The nights he asked me if i would cheat on him and i promised my life i wouldnt, and he did too, he was. She had plane tickets with his name on them for Christmas time, she gave him tons of money, which I dont even know what he did with. I find out from her he has a record for spousal abuse. I could go on and on. Guys are fucked up in the brain. I dont understand it and never will. I sit trying to figure out how someone could do something like this and just cant. I still dont understand hwo a human being could be so cruel and uncaring. I treated him like a freaking king and loved him with all my heart, and yet get nothing put pain, anger, and hurt in return. All i have to say is it sucks and i am in the process of moving my things out. I talked to the girl and i know she is lying about somethings, so i am jsut so lost of why the hell people cant just tell the truth and admit they fucked up. All i want is the truth so i can move on, but he doesnt even have the balls to do that.

GIRL THATS REAL BAD BUT GOD MAKES AWAY FOR EVERYTHING TO STOP AND WHEN PEOPLE HURT PEOPLES FEELINGS IT COMES BACK TEN TIMES WORSER AND GOD WILL BLESS YOU WITH SOMEONE BETTER AND YOU WANT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT A THING. IM JUST A PERSON ON THE COMPUTER HOPES THINGS GET BETTER FOR YOU IN LIFE

well my bf of a year and six months cheated on me with several girls i try and understand him but at one point he was just ready to leave me i was on my knees crying and begging him to stay and talk to me but he just was pushing me off telling me to leave him alon ena dall while we were fighting she was calling and he wouldn't let me touch the phone i got on for him.now it's about a month since i found out about the girls and now he all loving and baby this and baby that but honestly i find myself pushing him away but deep inside i love him.

OMG!
your boyfriend sounds almost exactly like mine!
Except my boyfriend doesnt have girls texting his phone.
but i just found out he was lying about his myspace and facebook. bcuz he still has it. and all he does is deny it. and threatens to break up with me if i keep bringing it up.
Its really not fair bcuz i dont want to lose him. But hes verbally, physically and menatally abusive to me also..

I've been dating him for over a year.
and idk how he could just do thsi to me and keep on lying when i caught him red handed... i dont want to lose him. I'm so upset though...
Me and him are engaged. And i found out hes been lying to me about this myspace and facebook shit for over 6 months.
He accuses me of cheating all the time. I think he does that bcuz i broke up with him for a day and ended up hooking up with some guy, but then i went back to him. And i've never cheated on him.
I think he accuses me of cheating bcuz hes the one cheating...
Whats wrong with guys? Like i love how when we catch them in lies they just deny it. They are all fucked in the head if they think we are to stupid to figure out stuff...

I know exactly what your going through... its so hard... and especially if you dont want to let them go... bcuz i dont want to let my fiance go... and i dont know what to do either hun....
relationships suck

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three years. He cheated on me a year ago and begged me to come back. He said he was missing somthing and his heart did not feel whole any more. so of course i fell for it and took him back. At first he was telling all his friends i was the only one there for him and that he cheated on me before and he could never put me through that pain again. well about 3 weeks ago we broke up because he started having feelings for another girl ( one of my so called friends) the girl told me she would never do that to me but then turned around and told my boyfriend that we were never friends. Aparentley they have been together for 4 months wile we were still going out. Also to make it worse. He has slept with almost every girl any of his friends were bringing over to our house while i was at work. He still is denying it but 2 of his best friends told me he was cheating and one of his friends girl friends told me she had to ask him 3 times to stop trying to have sex with her while we were dating. Truthfully i want him to come back to me but i want to turn him down when he does. He is still trying to keep me chasing him so that when and if it doesnt work out with this one girl, he will have me to fall back on. This guy was my first with everything. He gave me a promise ring and his mom showed me my wedding ring. I lost all my friends just to be with him. and now truthfully i have no were that i feel like i belong. I have never hurt this bad in my life, but everyone is telling me time will heal all wounds.

If he does not love you, then it is not love. You have merely grown accustomed to him being there and therefore have a need for him to be there. Love works in both directions, if both of you can talk this through and you both do love each other, then what the ***, keep the relationship going. But make sure he understands, if he ever does it again, tell him you'll cut his *** off.
You may use a software to know what he is doing and why he is cheating on you. Learn more advices from http://cheating-spouse-software.net

Am i being a jealous girlfriend? We have been together for almost 5 years. He is mentally and verbally abusive. He calls me fat, obese. I did gain 10 lbs since we have been together. So has he. But he recently lost alot of weight cause he is sick. He goes out with his friends and tells me he talks to girls for his friend cause his friend is shy. The other night he came home drunk went to the bathroom and then left with his friend in his friends truck. I get a call on my cell phone and its him and i can hear his friend in the background. They said they are gonna be at the exxon station in 1 minute. I asked who he thought this was and he said a girls name which isnt mine and his friend said..."u called (my name)" then the phone hung up. Then five minutes later he comes home and his friend is so drunk he drives on the lawn and honks the horn real loud...now i work in the morning and get up at 4am and it was 3am when he got home...so i was a grouch....He grabbed my cell phone and said he was going to call his friend and tell him what an asshole he was for honking the horn...he walks out the house and comes back in. Then not even a minute later...the cell rings and he looks at it..i asked him who that was...he said hi friend the one he just called...and i hear this girls voice on the other end. he walks out the front door....boy was i boiling now....we argued all morning till went to work well until he passed out 10 mins before i left....and that was that....Did i over react?

I read these stories and felt like we were all talking about my boyfriend. I think men fall into the trap of always wanting more and don't realize that they are leaving a good woman for a lesser one. My man and I have been together for 5 years. I stood by him through his roughest times without questions and I have always been the breadwinner, and never through it in his face that I make the money and he moved into my house. I encouraged and lifted him up. Then I find out that he has been cheating on me with a DOG she is ugly, poor and has 3 kids by 3 guys all by the time she was 25. I am still dealing with all the hurt and pain I mean the fact is he would be with her all day telling her that he loved her and then come home to me at night and say that he loved me. I got suspicious a few months ago and started to withdraw and he noticed but never changed his ways. It is compounded by the fact that when we got together I told him about my trust issues with men and how a past boyfriend had hit me and emotionally hurt me. I will give him credit for never being violent or even yelling at me in that regard he always treated me like a princess, but the hurt he has caused is compouned because he lied and he knew that I had been to hell and back to get to the point where I could trust him when he said he loved me and now it seems like i would have been better off just staying where i was not trusting men. The only blessing is that we don't have kids and I never relied on him financially so us ending will be easier to deal with. I just don't know if I will ever be able to trust a man to say they love me because love shouldn't hurt like this and if he valued me as a friend he would have told me that he was seeing someone else. I wish you luck (all of you) may we find the happiness we deserve...............

wow, i feel so bad for you and i dont want to be "bad" but i think u should leave him.. i wish i could talk with u cause this is a big problem and i think talking would make u feel better but talking with a stranger its no way, i suggest you to talk with someone u trust! NOT HIM

im sorry if i take your thread for my selfishness but id like to talk with everyone of u who has problem with ur relationship, the only thing is, we dont need to know each other cause i know its freaky, but i dont trust anyone i know anymore and thats why i need tot alk with ppl who will understand me, and ill understand u and i know it makes u feel better ;P, i randomly put a comment on this random forum i found but i know i sound psycho but if anyone wanna talk (dont worry i just wanna talk) let me know ESPECALLY U MELIA i had tears reading ur story

I started you read what you wrote, I had to stop at the parts where he is hitting you. Why?You know it is wrong. You are worth more than you know. Just you placing your story on line is a way of you fighting back, at the wrong that is done to you. In just love,Un just harm is being done to you . You have to learn the rules of loving before you can try to love.Look, If you can place yourself in the place of the person that you love then when you feel the way that you love that person that is love . LOve yourself like you love him. you are worth it, try it , get away from him. Think of it this way ,he is doing this for you not too you . You will know what I mean by that when you heal yourself. I was there once and I promised myself I would never allow my self there again I feel the pain you are in. I feel the confusion but, I don't see you on that pain too long if you just decide that you are worth all the good things in life. I bet you feel that you are not a human any more. I mean I know you feel that way. Life is what you make it . Make a real life for you. It is too late for him to decide that you are worth it you must decide that for your self.

me and my boyfrend have been together for 4years going on 5 and wen we first got together he cheatd on me for 9months!!! i knew something was going on but anytime i did confront him about it he'd lie make me think i was imagining it..told me that i make things out of things that aren't there which made me lthink iw as going crazy!! there was even a time where i looked thru his fone and saw text messages very sexual ones saying things to him so i took the number and called later wen i was back at my house..i asked the girl who are you to my boyfrend and all she asked was whos this and put down the phone..only for 2mins later for me to get a call from him askin if i took a number from his fone and i denied it until i admitted and he went MAD!!!! neways it was only wen i strtd talkin to one guy who was this girls frend i used to tell him everything on my mind and he is SO trustworthy!! i told him neway about what i though and wat he had told me and all he did was give me the adress to this gurls house to go and find out myself becuase all my boyfrend would do was lie!! i wnt to the girls house and i told her we'd been going out for 10months etc etc...and it was then she sed OH MY GOSH!!! he sed to her i was jus a frend and dat i really liked him but he didnt like me in that way and plus i was too young (there was a 4 yr age gap!! ) neway we both started goin thru things his sed to me what i've done n shes done and they wer all similar...but the thing that smacks it is that it was the week i asked to see him he sed he was going to his cousins....OH NO HE WASNT..that week he was too busy fuckin her!!!...me and this girl planned to go to his house confront him with everything and i did it in such a sly way!! that night i was talkin to him and i asked him..would u ever cheat on me he goes no..i sed swear on ur life..he swore strtd tellin so much bull about how much he loves me and u kno wat..it sounded so convicing...even to the point where he goes ahhh babe im tired now i'l spk to u 2mro...YEA RITE..he was on the fone str8 away callin her!! and wat he didnt kno was that she textd me saying his on the fone to me...its so fucked!! so i wnt to his house the next day and told the girl to wait next to the door outside i came in to his house and sed oh wait i forgot something and opened the door for this girl to come in (ps: this girl is ugly, fat short hair with dandruff..THE WHOLE UGLY WORKS!! ) all the stuff i had bort him i went into his room and took back..he was so shocked u could see his heart beatin out of his chest!!! and all he sed was...i dont kno wat use two are up to but (other girls name) u need to go...the thing is wen i was puttin all the stuff i gave to him in my bag he pulled my arm and said wat are u doing..i punched him sqaure in his face!!!!! neways after this whole situation he said he never loved her, has never sed he loved her to her and that he loved me..they went out before she had an abortion for his baby and since then he felt like he had to stay there for her...YEA STAY THERE FOR HER NOT FUCK HER!! after all of this i got bk with him the next day...im so weak..i love him so much...i've never ever ever loved and felt the way i feel about him about anyone..his ike my bestfrend, he understnds me more than ne1 has, more then my own parents, his always there for me...and now his still doin the same thing..but without the cheatin although it can still b seen as that way...talkin to girls through msn, skype and on the phone...him sendin pictures of his dick and gettin pictures of their ass and breasts and talkin sexually and stuff and this isnt the first time..since that last incident...i've caught him talkin to 3 other girls!! and his stopped..then it moved from that to the interent thing..and his still doing it..he just doesnt kno i kno...im so fed up. i cnt rely on him to remember anything or get anything rite!! i kno it sounds stupid but even after 5 yrs he dusnt kno how to spell my surname or remember da way to my house..his 24 and im 20 im engaged to him its been over 1yr and a half..it was MEE!! that got him int doing drivin lessosn so he can hurry up and drive!! i started driving at 17 and he strtd his lessons over 2yrs ago..and it was automatic and his still doin it!! his so laid back and lazy and waits for things to fall into his lap and for people to do things for him, its like his not serious about life, he never has a back up plan for when things go wrong..wen things have gone wrong i've always been there to pick it up for him!! his response to all of this wen i've told him is that its cos he doesnt care about anything as long as he has me!! its all a lie bcoz if i cared that much to him he wouldnt be doin the shit he does...my parents are realyl strict and they didnt want to meet or know about him, but i really thought he was the one and knew i'd never felt this way before about anyone and made my parents meet him..they now have only just recently accepted that we're serious about each other...and its this as well the fact his my bestfrend, my brother, my lover and evertythin to me as well as being together so long that keeping me here. but i really am fed up..i just wish he can change and he dusnt understnd why i do the things i do even if i try and explain..his good at turning things around and makin it seem like its my fault...he also has an excuse for everything. i have NEVER EVER cheated on him..NEVER..althou i had been disloyal to him because there was i guy i used to see before i was wiv him but i chose my boyfrend now over him and he never knew how i felt and i told him in a long letter that i loved him etc...but up till this day my boyfrend still doesnt know there were two parts to that letter. but i dont kno anymore...my boyfrend is all i kno...i dont want ne1 else..because i love him too much..he only ever tries with us wen there problems..i jus feel with him its either a dead end or a downhill...of some1 can understnd that. i still tlk to the guy who helpd me out before and i've told him how i feel n everyfing n he sed i sound fed up and dat im a creative person and that i should create something that makes me happy..and find my happiness somewhere else bcoz i cnt live the rest of my life like this..he sed the only way he will only ever cherish, appreciate and care the way i want him to is if i were to move on and he contiue wiv wateva he seems to get out of talkin to other girls....only then will he appreciate me but by then it could be too late!! he also said that if we were really meant to b then we'd meet again..but im scared to take that chance bcz wat if he finds sum1 he loves n 4gets about me? i kno i cud say the same for myself..but i CANT and dont WANT to love anyone else...i've tried talkin to my boyfrend and it never gets me anywhere he dusnt undersntd...i've even told my guy mate that i personaly think he needs a guy to tlk to about OUR relationship..he dusnt discuss our reltionship with ne of his frends..if there is anytime they're tlkn bout girls it wud only ever be about sex... can some please advise me or give me they're opinion..i havnt eaten i feel lifeless and rite now we're not talkin as i've switched off both my phones and i jus feel sick..i get headaches all the time thinking about it....i need to tlk to someone...i dont trust anyone..i found it hard trusting pple even b4 i got wiv him and he knew that...thats probably wat damaged my trust for anyone even more!!...i just need a frend....

listen ladies, all of u are fucking stupid if u let any boyfriend get away with cheating, or any kind of abuse, letting go can be hard but if that jackass is going to screw around and cheat or have th nerve to abuse u in anyway, then he's not worth it, i dont care how good looking he is, if u have any self respect u should dumb his dumb ass and find a real guy who will actually apreciate u and not fuck around

Hi Everyone! I am reading these stories and it just seems so easy to say "Once a cheater always a cheater" and dumb him and things like that. a month ago I would have said all the same things! I recently found out that a my man of 5 years who I live with cheated on me with a Hooters waitress! When I found out I packed a bag and left for a week. He was calling and texting me like crazy. I agreed to have dinner with him finally one night and he begged for forgiveness. He cried ( something he does not do often!) He said all the right things , teared up at all the right times. I decided to try and forgive him. Like I said a month ago I would have said kick that man to the curb! but it is so different when it happens to you. It is so different when you love that man with all your heart. I am still dealing with the pain everyday and to be honest I don't know if we will make it. Some days I feel even closer to him now than before, and others I look at him and think there has to be someone else out there for me, someone I can trust and who not betray me. It is the most confussing time of my life! What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. IF we make I think we will be stronger for going through what we have went through together and IF we don't make it I think I will be stronger on my own. You just have to believe that no matter what YOU will be ok. I am just taking it day by day. Some of the entries I read talk about men who cheat over and over and to those girls I say if he has hurt you over and over chances are he will not stop. Remove yourself from the comfort zone, move out, change your number and keep your self busy and I think you will see that it is actually easier than you thought it would be. One thing I know is that if I ever found out he did it again I would not give him any more chnaces. I will be gone for good!

get rid of him before he tears u apart!no joke...good luck and if ya wanna tlk email me [email protected] ...im an advice guy

I used to always tell my friends that it is our job to find out if they are cheating on us and there job to hide it. Let me tell you my story...a month ago I decided to test my boyfriend to see if he was cheating on me. I set up a bogus yahoo account and starting sending him SMS messages to his cellphone to see if he would flirt with me. He didn't. But what made me suspicious is that he never mentioned to me that he was receiving weird text messages from a girl (who was me of course)...so because of that i decided to access to his cell phone records and home phone records...I now have access to both and now I am driving myself crazy. Every day i check his cell phone records and home phone records looking to see if he calls a girl or if a girl calls him...WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME...I always used to tell my girlfriends that if you think he is cheating on you then you should leave him...and look at me now...I am pathetic...I feel like this insane crazy woman sitting at her computer trying to see if her boyfriend is cheating on her...I need help what the heck should I do? I want to stop accessing his phone records but I cannot. I feel like I should dump him even though I know he's not doing anything because I feel like I'm driving myself crazy looking for him to do something....you know what is worse...I sit there and call every number he called to see if it is a boy or a girl...I never should have started this dumb game. Now look where I am. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!

hi my name is shobit goswami i dnt hv any girl friend hw can i say any thing about your boy friend if any body interested me plz contact me i live in delhi (india) nd my contact no is 09811008133