Girlfriend suffers from traumatic memory, cannot be intimate

Hi

I have been seeing a wonderful, beautiful girl for almost a year. We love and respect each other very much.

At some point in her life she suffered some form of sexual mistreatment. I do not know any details of the event as she will not discuss it with me or anyone else. She says she is a virgin, so I don't think she was raped. Beyond that, I am in the dark. The result of all this is that whenever we try to be intimate (beyond kissing) she is thrown into a sort of emotional breakdown, cannot continue, and is upset for the next several minutes.

This is preventing us from deepening our relationship, something that we both want to do. She wants to beat this, but cannot bring herself to talk about it with anyone and is unable to afford professional counseling.

The whole thing feels a little hopeless, but I have told her that I will support her in her battle with this thing, however long it may take. I just don't know where to start, what I should do, what she can do, etc. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

Psychotherapy would be the best solution. She can overcome this, if she dare to contact her anxiety step by step.

Read about how to get into contact with anxiety.

If professional psychotherapy is just not an option, what else can we do? The article on "contacting anxiety" does not really apply to her... she is very in touch with her emotions, but they block her from intimacy.

Thanks