Marriage going down hill

Hi! My name is Marilyn I'm 25 y/o about a couple of months ago I was and still am having marriage diffrences..It all started when I started snooping in his computer and found emails from him to a girl saying that he wished he was married to her instead of me, that he got married only for papers..when I read that my whole world turn upside down and I decided to confront him and he told me that he wrote what he wrote to break up with an old relationship so ever since that day things were just not the same between us it got to the point that he would reject me sexually and I would cry myself to sleep after that thing were not the same so time passed and things got worse between us.

It got so bad that my husband left the house for a couple of weeks..I tried getting back at him for leaving I slept with another guy... he found out and I ended moving to another county a month passed and he decided he wanted to reconcile with me promissing to let the past behind but ever since we got together he can't let it go...I feel that I am not happy and that he is not either...

Now I even feel discusted about myself and sometimes ask why was I put here in this earth... It's gotten to the point that we argue and he brings it up what I have done and starts to insult me in front of my children saying that I am a B.... and that I worth less than a cent. After he says this I slapped him he pushed me I hit the door causing my arm to bruise... I feel like he is not my friend, or no longer my lover and sometimes I feel like I am sleeping with the enemy... I no longer no what to do or feel...and crying my lungs out is what I feel like doing but I feel like my tears are all dry...Please give me advice...

Thanks,
Confused

This is a really sad story. You feel abandoned and unloved. It has become an vicious circle. Unfortunately, it is easier to spoil a relationship than to build it up. If you both want to try to save your marriage, contact a family counsellor and work on your relationship until it is back on track again.

Tell your husband that you love him and you want to keep him. Beg him to forgive you because you have hurt him and tell him you want to forgive him and move on. Look ahead and do not focus on the past. Think instead that you can possibly learn something about what has happened, and use it as an experience in order to avoid similar mistakes in the future.

Do not criticize or say nasty things to him. If he is unfair to you then ask him: "Would you like to be nice and loving to me?". Mark all the positive things you find in him and tell him about them. Use gentle words if you need anything and show appreciation for his help.

If you start arguing and the mood sinks, go out and take a walk without him. Tell him before leaving: "We will be friends again when I return from my walk" or "We will sort this out when I get back".