My sister gets jealous to me and i dont like it,theres a lot more its a family issue

I always gets jealous with other sisters being close to each other and i felt like i want it too...i felt so happy so complete whenever we go outside just the two of us, other people say we look so cute together but they dont know that thats just for the outside and im happy about it atleast we look great right? But whenever im being compared with her i always felt like im the weak one, she is much friendly than i am, they cope with her that easy, im a cry baby and shes tough, shes mkre smart than i am, she became valedictorian before and i am not, thats why its getting into me and sometimes i feel like i just wanna be like her..but i cant cause my mother always told me that im far way better than her, she cant be a good role and i can see that everything but i cant help it! But you know what what really hurts most is that you kept hearing all over again that shes jealous to me because i got all the attention and everything,yes i appriciate those but i cant be happy knowing im hurting someone and worst my sister, i know its not my fault but everytime i hear those i cant help but feel guilty, but i have to understand her,i dont know what to do adding the fact of being stuck in the middle between my sister and my mother their being deaf, close and so distant, full of pride,i just feel shit feeling like ur on a boat bpth of them drowning and dont know who to save first thi just sucks!