There is an old Chinese saying:

Man is fire, woman is water. The man's fire brings the woman's water to boiling.

Listen to your girlfriend; she says: "if the circumstances were right maybe it would be possible" . Women are not, as men are, immediately stimulated by sight. They need more time. They need the right atmosphere, some romance; sometimes candles and soft music can help.

To get her to desire you and want to have sex, you have to court her, so that she feels like an attractive woman, and not like a service provider. Men can often make up a quarrel by making love, but women need to feel that the relationship is good first, in order to feel desire.

"Why don't you want to make love with me?" is a question that kills all desire. Say instead: "You are so beautiful, I cannot resist you!"

If she is stressed and thinks of problems, sex will not work. She needs to get in the right mood. Be helpful and give her a lot of care and appreciation.

Making love is a slow process for a woman and may have to start many hours in advance, by fondness and attention from the man she loves.

Women need a much longer foreplay than men. Start by whispering sweet words in her ear and fondling her all over her body, but not in the genital area.

Be sensitive, all the time, to what she likes and what she wants to hear.

Do not fondle the genital area until she is ready (use lubricating gel, which you can buy in a drug store). You need to have patience. She may not get an orgasm until after 20 minutes or more. And sometimes it will not work, even if you do everything right. You need to love her anyway.

Most women will not achieve orgasm through an ordinary genital sexual intercourse. And men often are tired after their orgasm. Because of this, it may be best to ensure that the woman has an orgasm before the man. She will still be excited afterwards, and will enjoy his orgasm.

Women can enjoy sex even if they do not get an orgasm. They enjoy the nearness and intimacy, the fondling and the feeling of love and desire. A request from the man that she must have an orgasm can be a problem for the woman. In spite of this, you should try to learn to satisfy her. I know of women who have left their boyfriends when they have met a man who knows the right way.

Your girlfriend probably does not want to go to a gynecologist, because she feels that this is not the problem. One treatment for a dry vagina is lubricating gel. Do not tell her that she is lazy; instead try to understand her wishes and needs. Respect her, if she does not want to go to a gynecologist. To criticize her will kill all desire and she may resent this for a long time.

If you want something from her, ask her in a nice way, without criticism. Listen to what she says and try to understand her feelings and needs.

A woman who has never had an orgasm may be able to learn this by practice. Her chances of succeeding are higher if she has a partner who is responsive to her needs. Good luck!