People with eating disorders have a poor contact with their own inner world, feelings and needs. They are more affected by external impulses, by what other say and show them. In order to recover they must make contact with their real feelings and physical sensations. They need to reduce this external effect. This concerns the relation with parents, friends, colleagues, bosses, family, journals, advertising, etc.

As there is such close contact with parents during the early years, a great deal is learnt from them concerning personal behaviour and this becomes a part of one's own personality. Even when the parents aren't met this continues to exert its influence. For those with eating disorders the "built-in" parent may contain the wrong way to manage these problems e.g. they eat for other reasons than hunger. In order to recover it is necessary to relearn and stop using the wrong approach.