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Family Guy Sex ; Why do men look at porn

Written by: Gunborg Palme, certified psychologist and certified psychotherapist, teacher and tutor in psychotherapy.
First version: 22 Jul 2008. Latest version: 26 Aug 2008.

Abstract:

Many men continue looking at porn even when they are married family guys, even though their wifes are often offended by this. This article explains why men do this.

Question:

I don't understand male sexuality. We are a newly married family and I'm just starting to get to know his personality, character and eccentricities. I discovered that he was keeping a couple of video footages while he was having sex with a prostitute. It was a hidden videocam and the woman of course not aware. the other one is he was taking video of a woman who wears sexy lingeries (they were like shooting different underwears). when I confronted him about these he told me that they are friends and they are just having fun. but I don't want to start a fight so I just stopped talking about it. Then another thing happened. I discovered that he is continually collecting porn images and videos online. in fact he has a collection of them. I don't understand this guy I married.

He talks to himself when he goes out of the house to smoke but I think he doesn't know that I know. since I could see him from our kitchen sometimes.

Please tell me about this behaviour. I want to understand him. and I love him. Why does a married family guy want to look at porn?

Answer:

According to evolutionary scientists, natural selection has favoured men who want to have sex with as many women as possible. Men with such a genetic code have bigger chances to spread their genes. On the other hand, a man knows that his own wife would be furious and heartbroken if he cheated on her. Some married men argue that they have too little sex or have it too seldom. Those men can calm down their genes by looking at pornography, thus avoiding the risks of infidelity.

Wanting to view porn can for some men be an addiction, similar to drug or alcohol addiction, and as difficult to get rid of.

However, men's interests in pornographic material often hurt women's feelings. Some women feel that they are not good enough and that their men dirty their love with repulsive pictures. It is difficult to find a solution for such a problem. A man who cannot manage to give up his porno watching must be very discrete in his hobby so that his wife will not discover it. But it is difficult to hide things from a woman in her own apartment. Do you want to keep your man even if he doesn't want to quit his hobby? Is it possible for you to accept it and let him look at porn?

It may be that your husband wants to live a bachelor life, even though you got married. Perhaps he thought that he could quit but he was not able to do it. Only you have the power to decide what to do. Your choices are the following:

  1. you convince your husband to quit.
  2. you tolerate him as he is.
  3. you leave him.

Men, who both cheat on their wives and watch pornographic material, usually say that it is their wives they love, the other ones are just sexual objects. Women find it very difficult to accept. Are you sure that your husband is not talking on a cell phone when you think that he talks to himself? Would you have married him if you had known how sex-interested he is?

More Information
Sources, references: http://web4health.info/en/answers/source/sex-porn-men.htm
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