Commitment Phobia; Fear of Commitment
Written by:
Gunborg Palme, certified psychologist and certified psychotherapist, teacher and tutor in psychotherapy.
First version: 22 Jul 2008.
Latest version:
20 Aug 2008.
Abstract:
List of reasons why men do not want to commit themselves.
Question:
Why don't some men want to commit themselves? How can I test if a man is serious? What is commitment phobia - fear of commitment?
Answer:
There are a number of different reasons, but here are some answers from unmarried men on why they don't want to commit:
- I think that women are controlling in a way that I don't appreciate.
- I don't want children, and I think that women will want to lure me into having children.
- My children should not need to have a stepmother.
- I want to date several women and don't want to promise anyone a lifelong commitment and fidelity.
- I want to live my life watching sports, football on TV, going to games and drinking beer, and don't want any comments on how I live my life.
- I'm afraid I won't live up to her expectations.
- I don't want to be criticized
- I already have a boyfriend
- I have a nice relationship with my mother and my girlfriend didn't approve of it.
- I love my family, but my girlfriend wanted it to be just her and me.
- I enjoy the company of my friends and see no reason to start spending time with her instead.
- I'm afraid she'll have issues with my drinking habits.
- I don't want to have any financial demands put on me, I want to do other things in life than work.
- I have had bad experiences and role models from my parents' marriage.
- My girlfriend cheated with my best friend.
- I have seen too many relationships breaking up among my friends to be able to believe in marriage.
- I think women place unreasonable demands on men.
- Why commit when it is so easy for me to meet women?
- She went mad after having spotted my pornographic magazines, and I don't want to throw them out.
- I have had poor previous experiences.
- She wanted me to be part of her lifelong project consisting of a family and children, but she never wanted to go out sailing with me.
- Chelsea, the football team, is my greatest love.
- There was too much fighting; I want peace and quiet.
- She never wanted to have sex and she was good looking and turned me on, so it simply got to be too frustrating.
- I don't want to commit for life, I want to be free to do whatever pleases me.
A simple test for finding out if a man has serious intentions is to tell him "I do not believe in sex before marriage".
More information
http://web4health.info/en/answers/
life-rel-commit.htm
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