I was molestated at age five, and my parents hid it from everyone. I was expected to forget about it and never talk about it. Since I became sexually active, (which was at the age of 16) I have been dealing with this greatly. My parents refuse to talk about it so I feel alone and wonder why they never gave me help.
I go through these obsessive things, like constant handwashing, teethbrushing, sleeping with lots of clothes on, each of these things happen and then i move on to something else to be obsessive about. I think that I do this because I feel like I can control something. I am now 21 years old and I have been having problems with my relationship with my boyfriend. He tries to tell me his opinions on things in my life and i feel like I always rebell against him so that I can be able to say no. I know that he will help me but I say no..just to be able to say it. I feel like I always need to say no to things because it helps keep me together. I'm not sure what I'm going through and I don't know how to fix this.??
You might be suffering from OCD, which need not be caused by you being molested. Talk to a psychiatrist about diagnosis and treatment.
OCD can often be successfully treated with a combination of SSRI medicines and cogntive psychotherapy. You also need psychotherapeutic treatment for your childhood trauma.
Read more about OCD.
Treatment after child molestation.