Moving on after divorce

I was happily married for 30 years, and the day our first grandchild was born my ex husband visably hit a midlife crisis. He was a wonderful husband until that day. I still trusted him completely and he is a well to do successful business man. I was devastated when he brought me divorce papers 61/2 years ago. He then told me that for us to to start over he needed a divorce. I did not know then that he was having an affair with our neighbor, who was also our daughters' best friend. I was friends with her also and occassionally babysat her 2 little girls. She is 20 years younger. Our famalies were all good friends including her parents and sister. I signed the divorce papers in our home in front of him crying so hard, and I would do anything to fix our marriage. I never did read 1 word of the papers, as I signed, because I new he would never cheat me. I nevere worked and was a stay at home Mom until our youngest was a 10th grader, and we were having financial problems. He promised he would tell me if and when he filed the divorce papers. Our daughter became suspicious 3 months later, when she found out he was not on a business trip, but in Cancun with her. I had been leagally divorced for over 1 month and didn't know it. I nevere did get as lawyer, and when we got a copy of the divorce he had taken everything we had. The worst part though, is, for 61/2 years I have not been able to end this devastation in my life. I had 30 yrs. of my life taken with no say so in the matter. I cannot get past the betrayel and cannot stop loving someone I didn't fall out of love with. He is a builder and built a home on our lot that we were going to build our empty nester home on, for her and it 4 doors down the street from our daughter and grandchildren. I started dating a very honest loving man 3 yrs. ago who wants to get married, but I can't stop the pain. I think about it all day long, and when I do sleep, I dream about it. It was like it happened yesterday. We actually got back together after the 1st year for 20 mths.,but slept in seperate rooms because he said he felt so guiltyt for cheating on me. Out of the 20 mths. he was with her all but 3 wks still. She came to our house one evening to find him, because he had been lying to her and she didn't know he was living with me.He found out that we both caught him and all his lies, so he hid behind a door of a closet in one of his model homes, and that is where we found him. He shoved past us a took off running. I am being treated for depression and I am on Paxil. I have no inssurance and have no luck finding support groups or a therapist who charges on a sliding scale. Everything that I trusted and believed in,in life has been destroyed. I can't take this anymore and am so desperate for help. I have really understand now, why some people die shortly after their spouse from a broken heart, because that is what it feels like, a slow death from a broken heart. I have 2 beautiful successful children who can't understand why I can't get over it and move on. I don't want to be like this and hurt like this anymore, because it is killing me and I deserve better. Please, I beg you where do I start. I can't do it myself, I need some guidance, but can't afford traditional means. Please help me stop this cycle of pain.