he thinks we don't have a problem

my partner spends all his spare time in the pub or at the computer. i thought he may have been cheating. i have evidence that he wants to but he denies it. we hardly have sex any more because he doesn't want to and has even pushed me away for porn. he kind of told someone that he basically wanted someone just for sex because i'd lost interested. first, i have never lost interest and second, why does he think that would make cheating ok? he refuses to talk about anything and insists that we don't have a problem or need help. i'm desperate to know what this is really all about and if there's something i can do about it.

Ask your parner what you want from him in a nice and straightforward way. Show appreciation when he satisfies your needs. Seduce him if it is possible. Find nice interests and friends to satisfy yourself when your boyfriend is occupied. If this does not help, try to find someone else who suits your needs.

Would it be possible for you to see a family councelor?

i have suggested counselling but he refuses to believe there is a problem and therefore thinks that we don't need that. i have tried talking to him but there are so many problems and i keep feeling like he would rather split up than work on things

I he refuces to see a counsellor, you can go there alone.