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unrealistic counselee expectations
unrealistic counselee expectations
From:
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Date: Mon, 6 Feb 2006 01:44:13 +0100
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Help!!!! I have been counseling a husband and wife in my congregation (I'm a pastor). The wife sought out my attention initially and that progressed to the marital counseling. She has decided I cannot be an adequate support person for her any longer because I refuse to accept her calls on my days off. Generally these calls, unscheduled visits, coincide with an arguement with her husband in which she wants me to "just listen" to her...then she proceeds to sit without saying a word for 5-10 minutes. What's worse, these minor domestic disagreements always happen on my off time. I am responsible for 400 members, and yet she appears to want me available at her beck and call, and when I'm not she calls and angrily accuses me of thinking she's stupid, and unworthy of attention. She acts like her time is the only time that matters. I have never dealt with someone so needy, and I'm at my wits end. Is this woman suffering from narcissistic personality disorder? If not, what, and how do I deal with her total lack of respecting boundaries? I have tried numerous times to set boundaries with her and she has total disregard for them, always playing the "poor me" card and slinging the "nobody loves me", etc. crap. I'm so frustrated I don't know what to do. She has threatened to leave the church repeatedly, but keeps coming back...sometimes even dragging her stunned children with her to confront me during meetings or classes. Again, Help!!!!
It is likely that the woman is suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. Would it be possible for you to pass her over to a psychotherapist? Otherwise, give her one hour a week and be very strict with the boundaries. When the hour is over, she will have to leave.
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