I have not even been throwing up reguarly for very long. Maybe only two weeks. But now it has turned out of control and I do it atleast twice a day.. I never binge on thousands of calories. I would consider the "binges" to be about 600-1000 calories. A lot of times ,though, I just throw up one single thing I ate, like ice cream- just so I can have it and then not worry about it making me gain weight or look bigger... Here is the main problem at hand-- I DONT WANT TO THROW UP, BUT MY BODY WILL NOT TAKE IN FOOD ANYMORE ALREADY!!!! Every time I eat, I get HUGE stomach aches that are almost unbearable. My body will not digest the food for HOURS, and it just sits at the top of my stomach, coming up my throat. I dont know why this is happening so soon, or is it not completely related to the throwing up? I always want to throw up anything that isnt considered a "safe" food.. so I usually stick to my own meals that I make and feel safe and happy eating. I just want to eat normal portions of things again, but each day I try I end up throwing up jst to release the hurting in my stomach. I feel TOO full TOO easily, so I can't keep my food down. I NEED HELP but I CANNOT talk to my mom about this or anyone.. I think I threw up blood yesterday.. I missed two days of school due to unbearable stomach pain, and now im sitting here about to go to bed because i have school tomorrow but I dont know how I am going to do it. Is it normal to feel THIS MUCH PAIN? Its like I am FULL of water and PAIN but even drinking some water makes it hurt HORRIBLE. I WANT TO CRY but I cant even come to my mom about it. My stomach hurts soo bad but if i tell her shell just say im trying to miss school again, and if it hurts so much then why did i eat like a pig today? i must have been fine to eat, she says. But she doesnt understand i eat to make it feel better, but it feels WORSE and i cant keep it down. I think I kept one meal down today.. Please help me, pray for me, tell what I can introduce back into my diet that wont upset my stomach so much so I dont turn to the toilet. I feel like im just running into the wall over and over and over again. Please help me.. I am completely alone in this recovery besides God.
If you have been vomiting for a while, the body gets used to it and it will be hard not to do it. Womiting will never help you in the long run. It only fuels the eating disorder. Go for professional help if you cannot handle this problem on your own. Read what we have written in web4health.info about eating disorders and about vomiting.
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Today's date: Wed, 23 Jan 2019 20:55:44 +0100