Confussed

I'm confussed about what to do here...I've never used this site and don't know what to expect from it either.

To sum of my situation for help, I have been in a great and steady relationship for almost 2.5 years. During this time, I have had my girlfriend catch my internet 'surfings' as I've looked at porn (Nothing sadistic and/or homosexual but what a regular users may come across on the internet). However, I do tend to visit these sites weekely.

Yes, I do have had a history of watching porn and looking on the 'net over years. Yes, I do tend to gratify myself weekly and it is something I want to stop or control better.

I guess the reason why I confussed is that I don't know how to stop this naturally occuring biological feeling from destroying my relationship - apart from throwing the computer out the window and not watching tv past 10pm!

This issue has caused major strain on my relationship over the months as she views watching porn as 'cheating on her'. I don't want to loose the girl I love, so what are my options?

- Confussed

Why don't you make love to your girlfriend and adore her body instead of looking at other women? Otherwise you might lose her to somebody who knows how to make a woman happy. She needs to feel, that she is the only woman in your life.

If am man absolutely wants to look at pornographic pictures, he should do it so discretely that his girlfriend never finds out, something which is not easy.

Hi confused,
I thought I’d offer a woman’s perspective on the issue.
Personally, it doesn’t bother me when my boyfriend looks at porn. I realise it is natural and that it doesn’t mean that he loves me any less. However many women don’t feel this way (especially if they are feeling insecure) and every time you look at these pornographic images of other women, your girlfriend probably feels unattractive and her self esteem takes an even bigger dive. This would affect your relationship and not to mention your sex life.
I would suggest you work on making your girlfriend feel loved and secure and try to cut back on the porn a bit, but be honest with her about it. Explain to your girlfriend that it doesn’t mean you don’t love and adore her.
Goodluck