STEALING (OUT OF ORDER)

I FEEL THAT THERE ISNT ANY POINT GOING ON ANY LONGER , I AM NEARLY 30 YEARS OF AGE AND I HAVE BEAN ACTIVELY STEALING THINGS ALL MY LIFE FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER. I HAVE ALSO BEEN UNDER SOME SORT OF PCHSCIATRY CARE SINCE THE AGE OF 5. WHY HAVE I NEVER BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH ANYTHING UNTIL THE AGE OF 27 WHEN I HAD MY 1ST CHILD &WAS THEN DIAGNOSED WITH POST-NATAL DEPPRESSION. ALL ALONG I WAS TELLING THEM THEY WERE WRONG . THE STEALING IS STILL HAPPENING ALTHOUGH IT IS REALLY ONLY SMALL THINGS LIKE SWEETS, PENS, THINGS THAT I USUALLY DONT EVEN NEED OR WANT. AT THE MOMENT I AM TAKING OLANZAPINE, VENLAFAXINE & LITHIUM CARBONATE, NONE OF WHICH ARE STOPPING THE STEALING I AM GETTING SO CLOSE TO CRACKING UP AND VERY OFTEN HAVE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS I REALLY WISH THAT IT WOULD JUST LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE HELP ME.

Since you steal thing that you do not have any use for it could be a case of cleptomania. In such cases one does not steal because of financial reasons but for the excitement of stealing. This feeling in turn makes the feeling of unbearable anxiety less. The only way to stop stealing is to endure the anxiety that occurs if you feel like steling but forces yourself not to. To consider suicide is an escape behaviour which does nothing to better the situation. In order for you to live a good life, you need to experience your feelings and try to resolve your problems. Since you have a child you have a great parental responsibility.