Past Boyfriends

Hello,

I have been married now for 3 years. Prior to marrying my wife, she had 2 ex-boyfriends that she was intimate with that she kept friendships with. When we got married, I told her that it hurt me for her to communicate with these guys and so she stopped. My wife and I now have a divorce on file, yet trying to make the marriage work. Once I filed for the divorce, she called up these guys for advice. She has now told me that if we are to get back together, it is important for her to have casual communication with these guys ie; e-mail and phone conversation. Otherwise she will feel resentful for giving up these relationships like she did in the beginning of the marriage. This problem has plagued our marriage ever since the beginning. She feels resentful for having to give up these guys totally, and I feel hurt and resentful anytime she communicates with them. What advice do you have.

I understand both of you. You need to find a solution you both can accept.

Your wife has no sexual relationship with these men, she needs to have them as friends in her life. You can't ask of her to give up her friends, what you can do is explain how you feel.

Maybe you can find female friends that you can have contact with or maybe you can invite them for dinner so that you get to know them and can see for yourself that nothing is going on. In time, they might become your friends too.