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need help
My girlfriend of 4-years has gone way to college 45 mins-away and all of sudden, she does not know if im the right one for her and she is confused. A couple of weeks ago she told me that she has found the ring that she wants. Im so confused, she said that I did nothing and its her. Could it be going away to school for the first time and pressure???? She has to pay 40g's for her masters degree. Her brother told me that the day of her leaving she was vommiting, can this just be to much for her now??? Im just lost on the whole, thing. She has given me no light at the end of the tunnel, only if it is meant to be it will happen. We got along well, fought like everyone else occasionally, but nothing serious. Could someone help me with my torment???? What should I do?? give her some time and space to get adjusted to the new lifestyle nad school??. Maybe dont smother her or tell her I love her??. We have a wedding this weekend and its gonna be hard for me because she is the one. I try to tell her how this makes feel and she gets mad and upset. Just in need of some good thoughts to clear my brain, its been going 1 week and i hardly eat and sleep.. just need some advice== thank you
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You know if I had the answer to this question I too would not be here either. I'm going through a similar thing right now too and the only thing that some times calms me down is the point that you can't make someone want to be with you and I repeat it to myself. You will never understand what goes on their minds. If they truly love you they will come back to you. My suggestion, which is so much easier to give you than to listen to myself is to give her space. If she comes back to you, it has to come from her not you and don't forget if that day comes you have to remember the things you want out of this life too. Unfortunately, we sometimes lose ourselves in these relationships and base or worth on someone else and how they feel about us. You need to work on yourself right now. She obviously wants time to straighten some things out in her mind. And you need to take this time to focus on you and not counting on this relationship where do you want the direction of your life to take you. I know how hard this is--I get up feeling the same way you do. If I've slept at all. Just try your hardest to stay focused on you and the qualities that make you worth coming back to. Because those good qualities are and will be worth something to the right person that will appreciate them.
The solution to your problem is easy. Just don't be available so much. Don't tell her you love her anymore. Don't sound like a lost little puppy dog when she calls. And, let HER call, don't call her. When she does call, sound happy and like you're in a bit of a hurry. Like you have somewhere to go. When she hears you're doing allright without her and suddenly there's no "I love you" coming out of your mouth every 5 minutes, she'll think to herself, "Uh oh. Did I screw up? Where's my comfortable place to fall back on?" Hint to her that you're dating someone. Hell, beter yet, actually go and date someone. Let her find out. Nothing will make her want you more than to know another woman wants her man. Women are an odd breed. When something is too easy, e.g. the man that's good with all the right traits falls easily into their laps, they think to themselves, "Wow! That was rela easy. If it's that easy to get a good guy, I could hold out a bit longer or try a bit more and get an even better guy." The more you act like you want her, she won't want you. The more you act like you're forgetting about her, the more she'll want you.
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