Wht do i do

hi, well i m in a very much confused state of mind. . .i got two basic problems . . one is tht i get angry very soon and when i get angry i throw things n most of all i misbehave with my parents n sibllings alot even with my nephews i try my best to control myself honestly, i have tried millions of times not to behave like tht but as soon as i get angry i get out of control n i hurt ever1. when i try to think of any reason tht might b causing this i dnt find one . . i have always got whtevr i wanted in life even if the resources werent thr . . 1 thing i always feel is tht cause of my elder bro n sis i have never been close enuf with my mom or any1 at home everybdy no doubt has fulfilled my financial needs but i believe tht no bdy has ever tried to understand me emotionally i dnt knw hw much this is true. . .but still. . tht is wht i believe. . .i m very much emotional by nature n emotions n feelings matter to me the most but still i dnt knw if i m so mean tht the feelings of my parents dnt matter to me. . . n the secnd prob is tht i m in deep love with a guy i must say we both love eachother like anything the only prob is tht (as i said before i m very emotional) we fought once or twice so bdly tht he threatened to leave me though i knew he wouldnt . . i took sleeping pills twice . . my parents had first agreed for him to b my life partner(they werent quite happy though) but then when i took pills the conditions got worse n they started hated him and in four or five months everything worsened. . .tht guy has now asked me to get married wherever my parents wants coz he has some prob himself himself n cant marry me before three years atleast . . while my parents want me to get married as soon as possible. . apparently i m doing wht my parents want . .tht guy n i r still together but i dnt contct him infront of my parents. . n now when i get worried thinking abt my future i even misbehave with him . . alongwith everyone else. . i dnt knw wht to do . . .plz help me. .