Infidelity

my husband went to work out of town for 1 year and came in contact with a colleague of his. they started an affair, i suspected bcoz he lost all physical interest in me, used to send her sms and call her whenever he was with me even for a few days. his phone records are a proof.when he returned i found a letter addressed to him from her stating that he knew how much she loved her and that she had stayed with him when he wanted. when i shwd him the letter he denied everything , swore on his parents and said it was one sided and he never reciprocated. on querying him about the calls he said it was strictly professional. he said he would never call her again but continued to do so and then stopped. he still is not interested in having physical relations with me. his e mail account showed stuff full of porn and a mail from his side to an escorts agency asking about the rates of ateenage girl in his place of work. again i showed him that and he said that he hadnt been using that particular account for more than a year and that some1 at workplace had got hold of his password and that person had been removed from the office bcoz he had hacked some bank accounts also. i told him that i could forgive him if he told me the truth, but he claims to love me a lot. he has mysterious unaacounted phonecalls from a girl on days when i am not at home. his phone records are a proof and i called up that particular number and she put down the phone.what do i do i forgave him the 1st time but cant do it now. we have fought n no. of times and he says he has been always faithful and that he wants to live with me. how do i trust him now? i cant ask help from any1 and have also thought of commiting suicide. please help.

I'm sorry to say but your husband is clearly not telling the truth and you have to show this to him. He obviously loves you but has sexual desires that he can't control. It is similar to a drug addiction that has got out of hand. Many drug addicts will make up extravagant lies to keep their addiction a secret. You should confront him by telling him that you know he is lying and that you can help him stay faithful to yourself. Men enjoy a variety of sexual partners so an idea to mix things up a bit is go and give yourself a makeover. Get a new younger looking haircut and color, maybe hit up the gym a bit more or even try to see what sort of body shapes and looks he might prefer. Changing your look throughout a relationship definitely helped me and my girlfriend stay loyal to one and other. I really hope you can sort things out.

thanx for the suggestions.i did try to have a makeover had a new hair cut and also joined a gym previous to this happening and lost a lot of weight but he didnt notice the effort i made.all confrontations are useless. the thing is i love him a lot and am ready to do anything and have told this to him. infact i tell him about my fantasies also so as to lighten him up. he enjoys the talk but doesnt do anything to satisfy them. i am trying real hard, i just hope things work out for us. but do unilateral efforts work out in reality only time will tell.but i really thank u for the effort u made to sort out my problem. atleast there is some1 who knows what i am going through and that is a big relief for me.