Cheated now I might be in love with another.

Hey everyone I hope that someone here might have some helpful advice. Please don't chastise me as I am only seeking help...

My wife and I have been married just over two years and have had a pretty good relationship. We dated for four years before we got married.

We were having some problems starting about six months ago. Some way, some how distance started coming between us. I have no idea how it started; who does? We were...are talking divorce but we do love each other. Regardless it is what it is and this led me to my problem. One night, about three months ago, I was working late and, on my way home, was called by one of my female friends who was having trouble with her boyfriend. This woman and I went to college together and have been very close friends for years.

I went over to her house to comfort her and things got crazy. We talked, we hugged, we kissed...After that we started seeing each other. She knew things were going poorly with my wife and me but still had trouble with the situation. We had about two months of wonderful times together; making love, hanging around each other and everything else. Then she couldn't handle the situation of my being married, albeit a failing marriage. We split ways still in love.

Now I am still with my wife but am confused as to what my feeling are. I love my wife. She listens to me, is interested in stories from my career, loves to please me, she is patient with me, we're interested in the same things and she has a wonderful heart. I love her, I really do but wonder if this marriage is right and if I'm actually in love with the other woman. My wife is fairly pretty.

The other woman is a wonderful person as well. She is stunningly beautiful; six foot tall and absolutely gorgeous. There are more superficial faults here though. She smokes; I don't. She and I don't agree politically. I'm a neat freak and she is messy. She lets her animals sleep on the bed; I don't like it. She uses marijuana occasionally; I would never touch drugs. She also is not as interested in my stories from work as my wife but she understands the nature of my job and willingly dealt with the strange hours. We were best friends before this...she is also a few years older than I.

These are both wonderful women and I know I don't deserve either...but help me please. I want to be honest and true to one of them. I don't want to break anyone's heart but I don't want my own broken either. I'm torn between the two women in my life.

Through the stress with your relationship problems you were probably seeking comfort but not realizing it. You happen to have a friend in a similar situation both of you now seeking love and comfort both not recieving in your failing relationships. (Make sense?) When your friend comes along (I assume your already comfortable with her) you are finally being understood and both being comforted by each other. During a stressful time in your life you can become quite vulnerable to love and kindness and both of you were feeling the same way I can see why this happened. The feelings could be temerary so you two should take a break for a while so you can sort things out in your own life before any new relationships. Who knows the feelings you had could have been the stress talking. Your friends too. I honestly hope I was a little bit helpful. Im no expert on advice if I was I wouldn't be seeking help for myself.

Good Luck-
Nikki