My fiancee has lost his interest in me...

I met my fiancee in November last year...and it might sound silly but I met him on Facebook. Back then I was living in Germany and he in another country though we have both the same nationality. We spent nights and days chating about life, love, faith, God, true feelings. He was telling me that he had never found true love in his life and no girl had ever understood him. We fell in love with chating and some photos we sent to each other. He wanted to come to Germany and see me but he had no passport and his personal ID was old so he couldn't fly abroad. Sometime in December I couldn't stand it anymore, I wanted to meet him and decided to buy a ticket and fly to him. He had no idea...it was a surprise! I called him when I reached the airport. "Baby I am here. I came to see you" I told him on the phone. He was speechless. The same night we met for the first time (23 December 2008). When we saw each other we just fell into each others arms and kissed. We didn't have to say anything anymore. Everything was perfect. I had met the love of my life and he had met the love of his life. I decided to stay there and not go back to Germany. Start a normal relationship with him. We were already saying that we want to get married, have children and spend our whole lives together. We were living in a fairytale, this is what we were both thinking. He said that I am his soulmate, the woman he had been waiting his whole life.

Unfortunately there were people who didn't like this relationship. My parents didn't think he is the right for me because he didn't earn lots of money and because he wasn't educated like me. In the beginning of January I got pregnant...we had no idea...We found out about the baby on the 4th of February. I was already 6 weeks pregnant. By that time my parents were really fighting this relationship. They were trying to forbid me seeing him. He was so disgusted with their behaviour that he didn't want to meet them. We were having a hard time. Our fairytale was about to end...he asked me not to tell anyone about this pregnancy until it is too late (in the 3rd month). We were afraid that they would make me have an abortion. So I was forced to still live with my parents and see him 3-4 times a week. I was going secretely to the doctor. But I couldn't stand this situation any longer. I asked him to come and talk to my parents about the pregnancy and that we want to get married. He refused to meet the people who rejected him without even meeting him. He asked me to just leave their house and go to live with him. I tried to leave my parents house about 3-4 times. Everytime they were locking the door and they were taking my suitcase away. I had no strength to fight them with a baby in my belly. I was feeling weak and helpless. Till one day I talked to my sister. She made a really big drama about it. She said that I shouldn't bring this baby to the world because I had known the father just for a few months. She couldn't understand how sure we were that we want to be together, have this child and live forever together. The next two days were a hell for me...till I decided to have an abortion on the 23 February...yes on our anniversary I was killing our baby...We stayed apart for about 10 days. He didn't want to see me or hear from me or even know me. He is 33 years old and he really wanted to become a father...After 10 days I went to see him. I was hurting so much because I had not only lost my baby but also the love of my life. We fell in each others arms and we were crying. He said he loves me but he felt that by giving up the baby I gave up on him. That I took my parents side...He said that he will have a hard time to trust me again...we dicided that night to leave and go to live in Germany where I was living before. He said that this was the only way to live together and happy without people who are trying to hurt our love. One night I secretely left my parents house...why I hadn't done this before and save the life of my child?????????????? They found his house and came to find me and take me back home. They were threatening his life and almost broke down his door...such people...they were not like this before...I didn't expect such behaviour from my parents. This also was hurting me so much! After the police came they stayed away from us.

So, my fiancee gave up his job and packed his things to move with me back to Germany. So here we are know since April. When we were flying to Germany we made a stop in Budapest. He bought me there a ring and put it on my finger in the airplane! I was sooo happy!

He doesn't speak German and he is having a hard time to find a job here. He knew this before. But he did it just to be with me! I was so happy. I was finally starting my life with the man I love. Just the two of us in a place where noone knows where we are. We are safe here! Unfortunately, we barely sleep together anymore. We barely make love anymore. He barely talks to me anymore. I was thinking that this happens because everything is new here for him. He misses his family, he doesn't speak German, he has no friends here, he is concerned about finding a job. He prefers to stay up all night and surf in the internet...Two weeks ago I woke up at 6 o'clock in the morning and found him watching porn and photos of naked women on his pc. I lost the world under my feet. I was so sure that he wouldn't cheat me in any way. Desiring other women is also cheating...Well we talked about it...he said he is not in love with me and that he might fell in love again in the future. He said that the fairytale died with our child but he hadn't realised it until the last 3 months. But he also said that he might "come back" to me again and remember how much he wanted me in the beginning of our relationship...he is refusing to remember the good times we had before the abortion. Because everytime he tries to have a nice memory of our love and our fairytale, my parents pop up in his head! He said he doesn't want to leave me or break up. He loves me like his sister and his mother and he cares for me. And maybe I will become again the woman of his life... or when he learns the language and finds a job he will move out or meet another woman. He left all possibilities open. In my mind is stuck that one day he will meet another woman and he will leave me. He will stay with me until he finds a job and learns the language and then he will leave me. I am trying to think that everything will go well and that he will find his interest in me again...but I can't. I feel ugly and undesirable...He prefers looking to any other woman in the internet than sleeping with the woman with whom he wanted to spend his life and get married. I feel really like shit... I trusted him and believed in his love...I don't know what to do, what to think, how to handle this situation...I am also hurt. I lost my baby because I was weak and now I am losing my man!!!