Ill die pl help

hi i am ina big problem,i think ive turned physco...i had a 7 yr ols relationship i loved that guy too much ,then my mom passed awayy,and my dad gat remarried,,after that i was only daughter left to get married as i belong to a country like pakistan ,,so all planned to get me married,,,my thta relation ditched me he was cheatin on me ,,,so i gat maried to a person my family said...it was disaster,,,my hubby was a bad guy n he beated me many times i gave him many chances but he wasted my 2 yrs then finally gat divorced,,,after that i went to wrong companay and started drinkin n smokin hjust to forget all as i was v much hurt,,then i made a bf,he was also cheatin on me so i left him after confirmin he created prob in my home n my family thinks me a bad gal too...prob is nw i dun knw wat to do in life may be am nt gud in relationshiop mantainance....i like some one for sumtime then all of sudden my feelings change,,,i gat 3 proposals guys were in love as they claim but i left them after 1 or two months n rejected them for marriage,,,,am sick phsycologically,,,1 yr went after my divorce my family worried n am worried too as i dun feel ,like gettimn married moreover i want to shift alone but my family wont allow they always give me lecture to get bak on track but its helpless am helpless cant move on....or maybe i have turned into such bad person...plz help me am i split personality? caz i was gold medalist n a gud gall,,now my career gone all things gone my reputation goin down my family hates me ...all hate me i want to suicide may be that will solve all problemsss

well hi, erm i think you need to see a phsycologist, and mabye assertiveness training (you can do that with a phsycologist) i think theese people are taking advantage of you, with assertiveness training you learn how to not be taken advantage off, I know how you feel, at the moment i feel the same, but suicide isnt the thing to do, just because your depressed now does not mean you will be later on in life, please do not commit suicide, it solves no problems. It creates more. I dont know much about this sort of stuff, but i do know suicide is not the answer, Keep saying to yourself There is light at the end of the tunnel. But if you think this answer is stupid it probably is. Im only 14 so I dont really know what your going through but I have a clue, i still love my ex, though its probably nothing compared to what yur going through, just please stay positive (:

i cant find phsycoogist in pakistan yet...

Hi. I'm not sure of the cultures of Pakistan and what is expected of you due to the culture. So my advice isn't regarding those things. I want you to keep that in mind as the cultural aspects of where we live play a large role in our lives and forming our opinions of ourselves.

I think first and foremost you need to take some deep breaths and just allow some calm into your life. It sounds to me as though you are under enormous pressure to please everyone else. Take some quiet moments and forget about what everyone else wants of you and for you, and let your thoughts drift to you and what you want. Use this time to evaluate what is important to you, for you. What do you want in life? How can you achieve this? What goals can you set for yourself that will allow you to have and be what you want?

Let today be a new beginning for you, and who and what you want in life and what you want to give to your life. You are worthy of a wonderful life. Find within yourself what it is you'd like that will allow you to enjoy your life. Live for the moment and let everything else rest in the past. In this moment of your life you need calm and tranquility. Find a space within yourself that you can feel that calm and just enjoy the serenity of the peace within your mind.

Whenever you feel the stress of others expectations allow yourself to breathe. Quiet and calm. Relax and let life fill you with happiness. It is in those moments that you will know what it is you really want for yourself.

((HUGS))