My Sexuality

Growing up (from 4 years old), my father or big brother never made time to play sports with me, or do any of the male bonding stuff. so i used to play with my sisters, dolls and all those firly things. my brother was alsoo so mean to me so that drew me away from being manly. in school i always was friends with the girls not the guys, i never was good at sports. now (at age 14), i realise that i am a homosexual.. i have been fantasising about men since i was about 10. my feeling are only growing stronger and everytime i see a man, moaning, bending over, or in the changing rooms, i go home and masturbate. i wanna stop this i wanna like girls, i want to be manly, i want to stop masturbating. what should i do, i've tried to block these things out but it isnt working.. people also notice that i am girly.. i dont have self esteem, i also sweat alot for no reason, and i suffer a tad bit from anxiety.. HELP ME!!!! (the gay problem is the first prority. i cant stop masturbating and watching porn)!!!

I do not think it is possible to change your sexual orientation. Your father playing sport with you would not have helped. Most teenagers masturbate and look at porn. Try to accept you the way you are. Trying to change yourself will only make it worse.

Letter from a reader:Hi i feel personally that- there is nothing unchangeable on earth under the sun. But all we got to do is to look for right way to solve the problem. One thing I am happy to notice is, you yourself has thought enough to find the psychological reasons for your being like this(- like what you have written of your child hood days). Hats off. this is a very important thing. Most people don't know the reasons for themselves. But you have got enough thought and understanding to find out the reasons. Now, let us take that understanding of yours to the next step. S. you have been more with girls than with boys from your child hood days. So what has happened actually. Girls and boys have big differences in Psychology. Mostly boys are possessive, while girls are submissive- especially when it comes to sex. So all you got to change is this submissive attitude. Try and do this thins: 1) Try to get your body more stronger 2) When you are watching a pormovie,, don't let your psyche admire the man's body in the picture,, switch your attention to female body,, 3) when you masturbate think more about cuddling a female body 4) e more action/ military based films 5) don't allow your mind to admire a man's body,, your mind has got just used to it,,, you can just change it,,, it is just like quitting cigarettes 6) Go to gym,, lift waits,, which can give you both physical and mental confidence 7) Stop thinking of your sexuality. Thinking makes it worse,, Believe you are a man,, just a few things psychologically has to be set right 7) Don't ever worry about some thing like Esteem,,, there is nothing in the world like Esteem,, People bluff each other with such words.. inwardly no body thinks high or low about you,, they never think about other,, every body thinks about themselves,, so you need not worry yourself on other's thought,,as it is useless 8) If you have girl friends,, try to admire their body as if you are a man,, 9) Just your mind lags practice of being a man,, just practice it ,, 10) say to yourself "I AM A MAN AND I AM POWERFUL" ANY MORE DOUBTS DON'T HESITATE TO ASK,,I WILL BE HAPPY IF I CAN HELP YOU GET RID OF THE PROBLEM cheers Rajprakash27