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  ** Re: Assertive responses


KOM2002 (question)  Assertive responses

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reply ** Re: Assertive responses , Gunborg Palme - Leg psykolog - Leg psykoterapeut - Telefon 08-664 60 92 , 08 Sep 2007 19:09
question Assertive responses , ****** , 08 Sep 2007 18:01
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Assertive responses
From: ******
Date: Sat, 8 Sep 2007 18:01:28 +0200
Language: English


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Hello Gunborg
Throughout my life I have always backed down and avoided conflict.I have a tendency to loose my temper and not think clearly, will make excuses or even tell a white lie when bullied or feel cornered by what I consider questions that could lead to conflict or that I feel unsure of how to answer.
Highly sociable and of a happy disposition I get along with everyone and never gossip or or pre judge colleagues. During my career I have been sucessful in my occupations. As a highly motivated person with a professional approach and high standards I work best when left alone to organise,solve problems and generally get along with the job using my skills and experience.
Over the past few years I have gained a wealth of experience in the field of Employability skills working on various Government contracts within different training sectors however, I have encountered the most horrific personal bullying from two female line managers in different organisations which have both resulted in me obtaining help from a councillor, going on sick leave and eventually leaving the jobs.
This situation seems to perpetuate and follow me from job to job. It is beginning to occur again in my new role and I need to have some coping strategies.
It seems that perhaps jealousy is the reason I get picked on.It is as if they spy on me and confront me with petty questions and criticisms. Asking me why I do certain things, why and who I am networking with, as if they are unsure of themselves. We all started the project at the same time and were recruited on an even footing.I know they want to use my ideas and programmes as they have none of their own planned . It has taken me years to gain my experience and qualifiacations and I dont always feel that I should do the work for them, give away all my resources and knowledge. I still want to be a team member and share communication and ideas but on equal teams, with respect and without it being all one way or being bullied into a submission.
Any help with assertive strategies would be appreciated.

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** Re: Assertive responses (Reply to: 108492 from ****** )
From: Gunborg Palme - Leg psykolog - Leg psykoterapeut - Telefon 08-664 60 92
Date: Sat, 8 Sep 2007 19:09:47 +0200
Language: English


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Other people feel inferior when they encounter successful women. The revenge is bullying. Try to take it as a compliment. If you were nobody you would not frighten them. Do not let them put you down. Avoid nasty people and find new people to cooperate with, if possible. Good Luck!

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KOM 2002