Re: Emotional problems, relationships, and more.

I hope that you don't mind me giving you background on my question before asking it, so here goes: I was a victim of sexual abuse as a toddler (up to age 3), and then was a victim of mental, physical (beatings etc.), and emotional abuse by my mum's second husband from that age until I was about 17 or 18. I am now 22 and happily engaged, but here is where the problems come in. As much as I would like to think that I am okay, I know that I am not. It always feels like I am caged, trapped, and literally can't show emotion. Well, that's not entirely true. I can do anger, hatred, malice, and enmity. I am also being a lier in that I am only showing the world a mask. I am not showing who I really am. It's due to these things that I do have minor problems in my relationships (romantic, and otherwise). Do you have any suggestions besides, "see a professional mental health expert, journal, take it one day at a time, etc. ?" no, i am not looking for a magic fix or anything, i am just looking for something new, because those other suggestions have helped me a little. My fiance tells me that I am a good guy and all, but that I need to learn to show emotion, stop caring what others think about me, and only care what I think about me. She said that on the emotion side of things that I should show them in publice and private. That way she will know that I am not some mad robot all of the time. I agree with her completely. I do need to do this. She said that it hurts to see me that way, and to not know what I am thinking or feeling. I have many other problems I need to ask about, but will start with the age old one of:"How can I let the real me loose (after defining who the real me is that is)?" I really do appreciate your help. Thank you.