What is my illness

Madam,
For the last 15 years , i am suffering from mental illness of one or other kind.
It started when i was 15 years old with some suspecious thoughts and doubts . I was always thinking about some people and thought that they have plans to attack me or destroy me.
during my college days, i had some problem with my classmates in mingling with them and somebody tortured me also. This induced more suspecious thoughts, anxiety and prolonged depression.
Now I am 30 years old and nowadys i am suffering from a kind of derealization that I am always in a fantasy world . I feel that i am in some other world and think very odd about the world i am living .
Other thing is that i am not able to take a decision and mind is full of confusion .
I always think about God and devil and feels that God is against me . Sometime i think that i should believe in god and sometimes i think that i should not .
again choosing a career is also a problem .Sometimes i am thinking of moving to an administrative career and ruling people and sometimes i think sticking to my present career , that is as a manager in a private firm.
I took antidepressants for a long time but no results . Recently , for some months , i took Resperidone and I think i have schizophrenia but doctors did not tell me anything .
My main problem in life is that i do not have an aim and quite occassionaly change my plans .
Every day is apain for me . High level of anxiety is also a problem .
Please advice me what to do . waiting for your earliest reply.
regards
Goerge will

It is very common that psychiatric problems do not exactly fit one kind of disorder, and are a mixture. In such cases, a single exact diagnosis may not be possible.

Try different medicines in close co-operation with a psychiatrist until you have found the best possible solution for you. Also see a Cognitive psychotherapist to help you do the best of your possibilities.