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Independent medical expert answers on psychiatry and psychology

Commitment Phobia; Fear of Commitment

This page abstract: List of reasons why men do not want to commit themselves.

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Independent medical expert answers on psychiatry and psychology

Commitment Phobia; Fear of Commitment

Intelligent natural language question-answering in the area of psychology and psychiatry. Ask a simple question  Local help Info

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Written by: Gunborg Palme, certified psychologist and certified psychotherapist, teacher and tutor in psychotherapy.
First version: 22 Jul 2008.
Latest revision: 20 Aug 2008.

Why don't some men want to commit themselves? How can I test if a man is serious? What is commitment phobia - fear of commitment?

Answer:

There are a number of different reasons, but here are some answers from unmarried men on why they don't want to commit:

  • I think that women are controlling in a way that I don't appreciate.
  • I don't want children, and I think that women will want to lure me into having children.
  • My children should not need to have a stepmother.
  • I want to date several women and don't want to promise anyone a lifelong commitment and fidelity.
  • I want to live my life watching sports, football on TV, going to games and drinking beer, and don't want any comments on how I live my life.
  • I'm afraid I won't live up to her expectations.
  • I don't want to be criticized
  • I already have a boyfriend
  • I have a nice relationship with my mother and my girlfriend didn't approve of it.
  • I love my family, but my girlfriend wanted it to be just her and me.
  • I enjoy the company of my friends and see no reason to start spending time with her instead.
  • I'm afraid she'll have issues with my drinking habits.
  • I don't want to have any financial demands put on me, I want to do other things in life than work.
  • I have had bad experiences and role models from my parents' marriage.
  • My girlfriend cheated with my best friend.
  • I have seen too many relationships breaking up among my friends to be able to believe in marriage.
  • I think women place unreasonable demands on men.
  • Why commit when it is so easy for me to meet women?
  • She went mad after having spotted my pornographic magazines, and I don't want to throw them out.
  • I have had poor previous experiences.
  • She wanted me to be part of her lifelong project consisting of a family and children, but she never wanted to go out sailing with me.
  • Chelsea, the football team, is my greatest love.
  • There was too much fighting; I want peace and quiet.
  • She never wanted to have sex and she was good looking and turned me on, so it simply got to be too frustrating.
  • I don't want to commit for life, I want to be free to do whatever pleases me.

A simple test for finding out if a man has serious intentions is to tell him "I do not believe in sex before marriage".

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