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This page abstract: A way of handling people who makes ugly comments at you because you are overweight.

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Offensive comments at overweight people

Intelligent natural language question-answering in the area of psychology and psychiatry. Ask a simple question  Local help Info

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Written by: Gunborg Palme, certified psychologist and certified psychotherapist, teacher and tutor in psychotherapy.
First version: 22 Jul 2008. Latest revision: 08 Aug 2008.

I am 29 and weigh 110 kilo. I have tried lose weight for many years and have tested many methods but I have not been successful. I would like to tell you about some of the things which have happened to me.

On one occasion I was at a dance and invited a man to dance, but he turned me down scornfully by saying: "I don't like moving furniture!"

On another occasion a colleague left a book about slimming on my office desk.

Once I went for a walk, some young boys ran after me and grunted like a pig.

I am always extremely upset and the result is that I eat even more to console myself. Must those with my weight problem live with all these insults which only make it worse for us? When people have other illnesses they are met with friendliness and understanding. Nowadays, I am afraid to go out; it can be so awful.

Answer:

Offensive Gibes at Overweight People

If people behave in the way you say, it is important to realize that they are the ones who have behaved disgustingly and you should try to feel contempt for them. Ask yourself the following question: Is the person, who has insulted you someone whose opinions you value highly.

If you get criticism you should consider it and see whether there is anything in it, and then follow your own decision.

If you are insulted, see how you feel about it. Don't be afraid to be angry. One of my patients said when she was insulted: "I am fat but you are ugly and I can slim, what can you do"? If you don't want to respond with insult comebacks in the same nasty way, perhaps you can talk it over with a friend. Try to be angry rather than sad. It is important that you react to make it easier to avoid comfort eating.

Try to find other things to do instead of gating for comfort. It may give you momentary pleasure, but doesn't solve any problems in the long run.

You must get right away from not daring to go out. Don't let others control what you do, but decide for yourself.

A patient of mine who had begun with regular gymnastics said that her blood pressure had gone down, she no longer needed the medicine and her blood sugar value wasn't too high. However, she hadn't gone down in weight and therefore thought she had failed. The expectations of others were so high that she got this feeling of failure despite her success in gymnastics. This feeling of never being good enough is extremely destructive. Be happy with what you can achieve and set realistic objectives for yourself. Then feel satisfied if you reach your objective even if you don't go as far as some others with their extra-slender ideal.

Disclaimer: The documents contained in this web site are presented for information purposes only. The material is in no way intended to replace professional medical care or attention by a qualified psychiatrist or psychotherapist. It can not and should not be used as a basis for diagnosis or choice of treatment. If you find anything wrong, please notify us at .
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