Independent medical expert answers
on psychiatry and psychology

Jealousy, Neglect

Written by: Gunborg Palme, certified psychologist, certified psychotherapist, teacher and tutor in psychotherapy.
First version: 22 Jul 2008. Latest version: 11 Aug 2008.

Abstract:

How to create your own life instead of being jealous. How to learn to accept that other people do not always pay as much attention to you as you wish.

Question:

How should I handle my jealousy of my husband's colleague at work? My husband is only interested in his work, and his colleague should always be present, all the time.

Answer:

This is very difficult and I understand how you feel. It is obvious that your husband is happy with his colleague and perhaps doesn't want to spend all his time with you. Nevertheless, he wants you and loves you. Of course, the more upset you become, the less time he will want to spend with you.

Try to create your own exciting life (with work, colleagues, interests and friends) which you can devote yourself to during the time your husband doesn't want to devote himself to you. You will probably not be able to change him completely but will have to accept him as hi is if you want to retain him.

You can also suggest to him that he takes you to a good restaurant, without his colleague. Then show him that you appreciate this.

To become bitter and sour will not strengthen your position with regard to his colleague.

More Information
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