Independent medical expert answers
on psychiatry and psychology

My husband and one of my daughters are getting fatter

Written by: Gunborg Palme, certified psychologist and certified psychotherapist, teacher and tutor in psychotherapy.
First version: 22 Jul 2008. Latest version: 05 Aug 2008.

Abstract:

If some family members are overweight, other family members must accept a home environment without unhealthy food, just as family members of alcoholics must accept a home without alcohol.

Question:

I have two daughters: Maria who is 12 and Joanna who is 14. Both Joanna and my husband eat far too much and have become fat, but this has never been a problem for Maria or myself.

As I look after the food supply in our home, I am always getting extra work and, e.g, can never make cakes available in case we have guests. After meals those two raid the refrigerator and the bread bin and make sandwich after sandwich. I often find toffee and chocolate wrappings in Joanna's pockets when she comes home from school. Sometimes they do try to slim, but the attempt only lasts about half a day. I provide everybody with low-fat nutritious food, but nothing helps.

Answer:

As you are responsible for the food in your home you have a good chance of helping your family with their weight problems. I will make several suggestions, but it is important that changes always happen gradually, as this gives them time to get used to new eating habits and like them. For you and Maria, it can also mean some changes in your eating habits.

Those who are naturally slim eat what they need and then they don't want to eat any more.

Hopefully, you can use the following suggestions if you think you can avoid trouble with your husband and Joanna.

1. Never comment on your husband's and Joanna's eating as it only leads to a power struggle where they can blame you instead of concentrating on their own problems.

2. Don't bake any more cakes. Offer your guests herbal tea or cappuccino (milk, coffee powder and a little fructose which is warmed up and then whipped).

3. If possible serve porridge at breakfast, but only in suitable amounts for each person. Try to avoid having bread, butter, cheese and sausages at home.

4. Don't serve more food for dinner than each person ought to have, but serve a large salad so everybody can satisfy their hunger.

5. Try to help Johanna with her junk food problem by giving her a bag of fruit to eat at school and telling her not to take any money with her.

6. The guideline is that any food which is overeaten should not be kept in the house, but replaced by greens and fruit so that everybody can be satisfied.

More Information
Sources, references: http://web4health.info/en/answers/source/ed-child-overeat.htm
http://web4health.info/en/answers/ed-child-overeat.htm separator Copyright 2003-2015 Web4Health