I work in nursing care at a large hospital and it is a catastrophe for me. I am uncomfortable and get anxiety from all the problems and bad care which I see everywhere. I go straight home after work and just eat and at the same time I feel apathetic. I move myself even less than before. All this eating gives me anxiety and sometimes I want to vomit or begin drinking, but fortunately something prevents me. Everything seems pointless. I think I am a failure and worthless: fat, silly malicious, clumsy, ugly and everything awful which one can be. I have been at a health farm which in itself was a catastrophe because I didn't go down in weight and on my return home I ate compulsively for a week. The cause of this eating was that I went with my mother, at least I think so. For some reason this always happens when I have been away with a member of the family, but they are the only ones I can go on holiday with as I don't have any other close friends. Am I a miserable failure? What can I do?
Just now you think everything is hopeless but it won't always be like this. You can work on your situation and improve it, step by step, so that your life will have a new meaning.
You can do something about all your problems:
- you could study or get a better job,
- you can find friends, e.g, by going to a health farm without your mother;
- you can learn better eating habits and lose your overweight and
- you can solve problems in relation to your family, but everything takes time.
One week is too short to switch to permanently new habits, but if you take one thing at a time you can gradually change yourself. Getting rid of overweight forever can take several years. Don't be upset if you occasionally eat too much for some days and go up in weight. Just continue on the right road despite the temporary difficulties.
It would be beneficial for you to go to psychotherapy in order to work through your problems and your feelings and clear up what it is in your relation to your family which causes you to eat compulsively when you have met them.
The fact that you could resist the temptation to vomit and drink alcohol indicates that you have a strong will and therefore I believe you will be able to manage your problems and find a new way of life.