Re: im in love with a married man

Well, it's been awhile since I logged on. I have to admitt, your two notes ago made me cry. It hit home a little in regards to working more, shopping, going to the movies. You at least have a physical connection with your guy. My guy won't connect at all. Even though I know he feels something for me, he is avoiding connecting with me because he doesn't want to ruin his life with his son. The next thing he doesn't want to ruin is our working relationship. The unfortunete thing is that I think it has. Without any control, I am keeping my distance from him. I try not to go see him in his office if I don't have to. I walk by his office without saying hello. I can't even look him in the eye. I resent him (and I know I shouldn't) for what he is doing to me. He calls me his "friend" and he says he doesn't want to lose me as a friend, but I don't feel the "friendship" he so calls thinks we have. I friend would try to help. He knows my issues at home. He knows what I am missing in my life. My head is so F!#@ed up right now, I don't know what to do. I see him almost everyday and really need more from him. He is afraid to open up to me (and I know I can't force him). But I don't think he ever will. He is the kind of guy that is very smart and knows what he is doing. And what he does is usually for the right reasons. And I'm sure he is doing what he is doing for the right reasons, but because my head is so messed up, I am being selfish and don't care. I want what I want and I want it. I would even take a fraction of what I want. But he probably thinks that would lead into other things. But we are never in a situation where it could lead to other things. We never see each other outside of work. The only way for that to happen is if we let it. I'm just so frustrated and messed up. So in the meantime, I avoid him, keep closed up from me (don't talk about personal things, don't smile around him). Basically ruining our so called working relationship. At this point I cannot give him what he wants. Which is a happy going working relationship where I talk to him about anything and he talks to me about nothing. One sided. I can't smile anymore. Well, my kids are the only thing in my life that makes me smile. I keep hoping in time things will change. I doubt he will open up to me. I doubt he will ever want from me what I want from him. And that just kills me. I wish he wasn't so afraid. All I want from him right now is a very close friendship. What does that mean? Openess to talk about most anything. Intimate conversations (phone, texting). Hugs, kisses, maybe sex. I want to feel close to him. I feel nothing. He gives me nothing. It's like I'm stuck on him and can't break free. And I'm trying like hell. Cry after cry. Avoiding after avoiding. Keeping to myself. I feel if I continue to do this, it will eventually work. If we remain friends after all of this it will be a miracle.

Your guy sounds like he wants reasurance from you of your feelings for him. That could be why he keeps asking you and trying to pull it out of you. If you tell him about your feels, he should talk to you about his. How does he really feel about you? Have you guys talked about how you both really feel for each other? What is keeping him with his wife? Kids? Money? What is stopping him from staying with you?