I have been involved with a married man for 7 months now. I am also married. I thought he was my soulmate. I still kind of do. We both married because of our kids. My daughter and his son are classmates. He is 12yrs older and got into a lot of touble with drugs as a kid. His one promise was to always be there for his kids. I repect that and did not want to take that from him. It only took 3 months for it to destroy my marriage. My husband got drunk one night and beat me in front of our daughter. He had never hit me before. I seperated from huband and continued the relationship. I just could not let go of my feelings no matter what it cost me. I kept telling myself it will get easier with time. It didn't. It only got worse. It eats you up inside. I have now dragged this special love into into a disgusting muddy mess. If it was so special why would I do this? Because you will do anything to hold on to what you feel is the most important thing in your life. But in the end it is no longer beautiful. It is just self destructing. I hope someone will read this and will make a smarter descision than I did. End it before it destroys everything good in your life. I know it can be easy justifying your actions but there is a little voice if you really really listen... I thought it was just doubt about our future together but looking back I know I should have stopped it. He was following a similar fate with his marriage but instead of making the same mistakes as I did he decided to end things with me. It does make me wonder if he did love me as much because he seems to of been able to walk away pretty easily. It has been two weeks now and I have not heard from him. I just found out a few days ago I am pregnant. I can't afford to raise this baby on my own. I don't believe in abortion. How can I possibly give our baby up for adoption. He is the man I love! Now what? Do I destroy his chance to live up to his promise to be there for his kids! Or do I suffer trying to raise our baby with out him and unhappy. Either way I am screwed. Looking back I should of been content enough with my marriage. It wasn't great but it wasn't bad either.