Home   News   Forums   Log in    Get personal advice    My area     Help    
|
Go to:
All forums
  Ask the Expert Areas
  No psychological free advice is available in English (for more info click "info")
  cheating husband
MORE INFO

CATEGORIES

KOM2002 (question)  cheating husband

Thread Messages in thread:

reply Re: cheating husband , Gunborg Palme - Leg psykolog - Leg psykoterapeut - Telefon 08-664 60 92 , 30 Jun 2005 21:07
question cheating husband , ****** , 30 Jun 2005 17:31
 48094. To top of pageTop   Next message down
cheating husband
From: ******
Date: Thu, 30 Jun 2005 17:31:46 +0200
Language: English

 


Reply to this message

Reply to all  

question
Where do I begin . . . Last year my husband and I were going through some tough times. With me being pregnant with our first child, having finacial trouble and my husband having legal problems, I had become so emotional he didn't know what to. This led to multiple arguments between us but we always made up. Back in December, a friend of his was worried that his fiance and 5 month old son was going to get kicked out of their home. My husband had asked me if it was okay that she stay at our house for a little bit until her parents were able have her come live with them. I regret saying that it was okay. The first night she was there, she didn't have all of her stuff with her. So my husband said that he would drive her to pick her stuff up. They had left me, my daughter and her son at our house. I knew something was going on because they came back 3 hours later and he had no shirt on. He had told me that he fell in some mud, took it off and put it in the car. I got alittle upset because that was the day that we usually "enjoy" ourselves together romantically but he didn't want to do anything. A few days later, I had noticed an open condom packet and a shirt with some white stains on it. By this time, she had moved out because he found out she was cheating on her fiance with 3 other guys and he was upset that she did this to his friend. I had called her to comfort her to see if something really did go on and she told me "No I would never do that to you. You guys took me in and I couldn't do that to you." I had even asked my husband why there were condoms in our car, since we don't use them, it troubled me. He told me that those were the ones he had picked up from the last OB appointment. Which I did remember him picking up because he couldn't to start having sex again. So I let it go. Now, we are in March and my husband and I have been fighting a lot more. More because of financial trouble, car accident, and him still having legal trouble. I had been thinking about doing a trial seperation because 1)I thought that we needed to spend some time apart and 2) I just couldn't stand fighting almost every night with the person that I love and care for. So instead of talking to him face to face, I took the chicken's way out by writing him a long letter explaning why we needed the time apart. Things didn't go as well as I planned. I was hoping that he would still be there when I came home from work and be able to talk about it. He left, with the dog, and wrote back on the paper that he didn't know when he was coming back or where he was going. I knew that he wouldn't go far because we live a country type setting and we still had no car. I decided to go out with friends, hoping that they would cheer me up, but I just thinking about all the events that took place and watching all the happy couples around me didn't help much. It was about midnight when I decided I needed to go home. It was raining outside and I was hoping that he was in a sheltered area. I came home only to find him in bed asleep. So I crawled in bed and fell asleep, only to be woken up by him giving me a massage. After he got done, he told me that he needed to get some stuff off his chest. He told me that he had cheated on me with the girl we housed in December. He told me that he been so upset with himself everyday and that there are no words that he can say to make things right again. This was the first time that I saw him cry and break down in front of me. I said that forgive him but that he will have to be patient because this is going to take a long time to heal. Here is why I am writing. I still have the fear that he is going to cheat on me. I get scared everytime I see little articles about cheating spouses. I know that he hasn't cheated on me since because we are together all the time and he lets me know where he is going and how long it's going to be. I just can't shake this. I have talked to him about it but he just thinks that I am paranoid and I need to relax and trust him. I want to, God do I want to but I am just so scared. Is there anything I can do to help ease the pain? Things I can do to keep my mind from wondering back down that pat?
 48103. To top of pageTop Previous message Previous message  
Re: cheating husband (Reply to: 48094 from ****** )
From: Gunborg Palme - Leg psykolog - Leg psykoterapeut - Telefon 08-664 60 92
Date: Thu, 30 Jun 2005 21:07:03 +0200
Language: English

 


Reply to this message

Reply to all  

reply

Your husband regrets his cheating so deeply that there is reason to believe that he will not do it again. Ask him to be faithful and give him one more chance. Give him so much love and appreciation that he is happy with you. Leave the past behind you and decide that you are going to be happy with your husband from now and on.




You are not logged in
Today's date: Thu, 6 May 2021 04:51:29 +0200
KOM 2002