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KOM2002 (sad)  Incest

Thread Messages in thread:

reply Re: Incest , 31 Aug 2009 03:29
reply Re: Incest , 61F102A829045F79D5CAB9DBE684C227 , 27 Aug 2009 23:11
reply Re: Incest , 27 Aug 2009 03:50
reply Re: Incest , 27 Aug 2009 03:49
sad Incest , 12FC0B7B0EBEF5397D7871C207978720 , 24 Aug 2009 00:22
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Incest
From: 12FC0B7B0EBEF5397D7871C207978720
Date: Mon, 24 Aug 2009 00:22:06 +0200
Language: English

 


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sad
I am trying to find a site which deals with this problem I have.
When I was a child around 12 I was sort of "abused" by my cousin who was a bit older than me. I say abused because I really don't know what it was. It was as if I enjoyed having the sexual relationship with him. He was a male and so am I. It stopped after when I turned 18 or 19, because he moved to another city. I am 42 and married with two children, but I still have a few sexaul relationships with men. Of course wife does not know. At times I would go to the local saunas for gay men and spend a few hours there. This doesn't happen often, only when the "urges" develop.
But most impotant of all, I think I am transmitting these urges to my kids. I don't know what it was but I tried to have some sexual relationships with them. Mostly my son. My daugther is way to young for this. I'm afraid if this doesn't stop this"incest" may continue on in their later teens.
My son hasn't saiid anything about our relationship, it seems after we are finished he sort of forgets it, but I think it's still in his mind.
I am afraid to transmit this to my daughter.
Is there anyhting I can do about this, or any help to take away these urges which I have for kids, and men??? Please help!
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Re: Incest (Reply to: 140799 from 12FC0B7B0EBEF5397D7871C207978720 )
From: ------
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 2009 03:49:20 +0200
Language: English

 


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You need to seek professional help for this urgently. Of course your son remembers what you are doing to him! This is child abuse and you need to get help. Please stop what you are doing and make an appointment with a proper psychiatrist to get the help you need URGENTLY for your children's sake.

Please do not let this go on any longer. It is important that you also get professional help for your son to deal with what you have exposed him to. He deserves a healthy, happy and loving childhood, not one of sexual abuse. You are his father - help him and help yourself!PLEASE!!!
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Re: Incest (Reply to: 140914 from )
From: ------
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 2009 03:50:51 +0200
Language: English

 


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And by professional help I mean in person with a face to face professional. Not online, real help! LIVE.
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Re: Incest (Reply to: 140915 from )
From: 61F102A829045F79D5CAB9DBE684C227
Date: Thu, 27 Aug 2009 23:11:13 +0200
Language: English

 


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Thanks for your prompt reply.
I will to do the best I can. I try to deviate from these urges as best as I=
can. I know what I am doing is completely insane!! and stupidly wrong!!
At this moment I am seeing a medical specialist (for a medical problem I ha=
ve). I have been on this medication for a few years now. It's somehow affec=
ting me at work and the collegues around me. At times, work and these peopl=
e disgust me so much that I seclude myself from them. I don't now if this h=
as something to do with the prvious condition which I explained in the firs=
t letter.
When at work,I just feel that I am in a world of sad and completely uneduca=
ted losers!!!
And then, the effect on my family is the result of my sadness.
I will try my best to consult a professional as soon as possible. Thanks fo=
r your time

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Re: Incest (Reply to: 140939 from 61F102A829045F79D5CAB9DBE684C227 )
From: ------
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 2009 03:29:25 +0200
Language: English

 


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Ask the medical specialist you are seeing for a referral to a psychiatrist. Everything you say to your doctor or psychiatrist is completely confidential!! There's nothing to fear in seeking help.

You don't sound sad to me, you sound as though you are angry and that anger manifests itself as overall sadness. Let's face facts here... you were sexually abused as a teenager. It doesn't matter who did it but rather that it happened. You've never had a chance to heal from that abuse.

It is possible that you get angry at work this adds to the overall sadness you feel and you get a release from that through doing what you do at home. It's also very possible that you release your emotions of this by seeking out men when you do. Sexually abused children tend to re-enact what happened to them. They abuse themselves sexually. They see sex as an outlet for their emotions. Its a form of self hatred. Consider your state of mind and what emotions you're feeling when seek these men out. Are you looking to release the emotions?

Imagine being able to openly discuss how angry you feel with your cousin and the hurt he brought you to emotionally, physically and mentally. He caused you pain through something that ultimately should have been a loving act. You say it's as though you enjoyed it because while it may have felt physically good the truth is, it felt wrong emotionally and mentally. It may have felt good physically but emotionally it wasn't loving. This is sometimes why sex becomes very confusing. It feels good to have that release but ultimately getting that release in an unloving manner leaves us in turmoil. You are seeking out the release through a physical manner when the truth is you need to release the mental and emotional trauma of your past. You feel bad at work, you relate that unconsciously to what's made you feel bad in the past and you seek the physical relief from the emotions, because at the time it feels good. It's not good. It's just adding to the overall sadness.

I'm sure you know this, but you are doing to your children exactly what was done to you. You are raising your children to have the same emotional and mental trauma you have... but perhaps worse because you are their father. The one who is meant to protect them from such things. As adults they will seek pain in the same manner you are. Help them by helping yourself and get the professional help you need. I emphasize professional because you need a professional to not just tell you the why's but give you solutions as to how to heal from your pain and find other ways of releasing those emotions.

Get the help for yourself so that you can heal and then deal with your children in healing what has happened to them, before they start acting out the cycle of pain that's been brought about. I know that's going to be difficult because what you've done to them is illegal. But you can ask for help with this and what to say and do with your children to help them heal. Find the courage and strength to stop the cycle in its tracks.

There is no shame in healing. Be the love you seek and be the strength to guide your children to love. Please don't be the pain of your past and the pain of your children's future. Love them and love you. Get help.


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KOM 2002