I started you read what you wrote, I had to stop at the parts where he is hitting you. Why?You know it is wrong. You are worth more than you know. Just you placing your story on line is a way of you fighting back, at the wrong that is done to you. In just love,Un just harm is being done to you . You have to learn the rules of loving before you can try to love.Look, If you can place yourself in the place of the person that you love then when you feel the way that you love that person that is love . LOve yourself like you love him. you are worth it, try it , get away from him. Think of it this way ,he is doing this for you not too you . You will know what I mean by that when you heal yourself. I was there once and I promised myself I would never allow my self there again I feel the pain you are in. I feel the confusion but, I don't see you on that pain too long if you just decide that you are worth all the good things in life. I bet you feel that you are not a human any more. I mean I know you feel that way. Life is what you make it . Make a real life for you. It is too late for him to decide that you are worth it you must decide that for your self.