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KOM2002 (question)  Is there hope for us?

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question Is there hope for us? , 15 Jul 2008 05:32
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Is there hope for us?
From: ------
Date: Tue, 15 Jul 2008 05:32:57 +0200

 
question
My husband is very needy and I have recently found out he is posting personals ads to "find someone to talk to" and networking. He says there is no intent on cheating. I came upon a few of his responses when I was fixing his computer and he refers to me in each one.

This is the 2nd time he has done it in our 6 years of marriage. In 2005 he had a personals ad for a week, before he “realized that it wasn’t worth losing his wife”. Then in June of this year he had some games on Facebook, do you want me, do you think I am attractive…rate me. I found out and he apologized said he was just doing it to find someone to talk to.

I am not a needy person and I don't know how to deal with him. He would be extremely happy if it was just him, the kids and I, if I didn't have my close group of friends. I on the other hand, need to get away, need some time for myself with my friends.

I love him but this newest thing has me really worried that he may start cheating. He says he won't, it never crossed his mind, but why does he need female friends who will listen? He has one friend whom I detest because I know she is after him, all the signs are there and I told him I didn't like her or want her around, so he has gone to seeing her behind my back. He says he does the facebook and myspace stuff because he likes the attention. I feel like he expects me to dote over him every second of the day, and it’s just not possible for me. I have a family, work, and school to deal with too.
I actually asked him if he is so miserable with me, why does he stay married to me and his response…because I love you more than life itself. If he loves me, why would he do this?

I really want to get past this but I was blindsided by all this, I thought we were happily married. What can I do to help him, to help our marriage? I really do love him.


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KOM 2002