I dont know!

i have a problem with being myself...i mean i get along with my family and cousins and other relatives,..i laugh,i have fun and i am myself with them...and i know they like me,find me interesting.
also i can be pretty good on first meetings..but lifelong friendships...
for example,for ten years of my school life...though i got on really well with my friends in neighbourhood...i was too quiet in school..so though i did have "friends"...no one really "knew" me...
then in college i did find a few good friends,one or two who are still in touch with me...i think they made an effort "to get to know me"...i mean initially i was really shy and tried to avoid them making excuses, and they kept on trying..
and now in a different college..though i have become more social...i still find it difficult being "me"...i guess sometimes i get too selfconscios...and that prevents the natural flow of my thoughts and i find it difficult to make a conversation..i am too polite and boring to connect with them...i like avoiding college..which is again not good.
also,as a result...though the real me would love singing,dancing,painting,being a centre of attention...i am afraid to participate.

DO I HAVE A PYSCOLOGICAL DISORDER? DOES IT HAVE DO DO WITH SOMETHING IN MY CHILDHOOD?CAN IT ALL CHANGE?
i have many ambitions and dreams and need to change,if i have to live the life i really want...

Concentrate on others and try to forget about yourself. Accept that life will never be perfect, but try to improve it anyway. Connect with people you like.

Read about working on your way of life.

Read about learning to think constructively.