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Virgin Men Fear of Intimacy: Sexual Aversion?

Written by: Gunborg Palme, certified psychologist and certified psychotherapist, teacher and tutor in psychotherapy.
First version: 22 Jul 2008. Latest version: 22 Jul 2008.

Abstract:

I get nervous and full of anxiety whenever I am near a girl. Do I have fear of intimacy or sexual aversion disorder?

Question:

Hello, this is rather embarrassing, but I need some suggestion. I'm a nineteen year old virgin. This may not seem odd, but the reason is the problem. I have this ... issue with sex. I don't know why, but every time a girl comes on to me, I get this nervousness in my chest and simply turn around and walk away. When I have tried to stay, I get so anxious that I nearly pass out. I have on several occasions been violently ill after such encounters. I bet this is a very rare case (this would be my luck). Anyway, I would really appreciate any response and/or suggestion.

Answer:

You seem to have developed some kind of "girl phobia" no matter how strange this may sound. Your condition meets all the criteria of a classical phobia. Phobias are quite easy to treat. I treat patients with a successful, intensive method that leads to full recovery. The patient is confronted with the cause of his/her phobia. In your case, if there is no girl available, you can use your imagination.

The patient gets a strong attack of anxiety that abates. When the patient gets tired, the treatment is suspended and continues at the next meeting. The first time is the most difficult. After that it gets easier and easier. After a few sessions the patient is released from the phobia.

It is difficult to treat phobias on your own. The anxiety is so strong that you do not dare to continue. Try to find a psychotherapist who is capable of treating phobias.

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