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Relationships Problems: Making Him Disappointed When I am Not In the Mood for Making Love

Written by: Gunborg Palme, certified psychologist and certified psychotherapist, teacher and tutor in psychotherapy.
First version: 22 Jul 2008. Latest version: 22 Jul 2008.

Abstract:

Sometimes we have to make other people disappointed, and accept their disappointment.

Question:

I have a relationships problem, I am afraid of making my partner disappointed, when I do not want sex. I am a victim of previous sexual abuse, that is why I am not always in the mood for making love.

Answer:

There are also many women who are not sexual abuse victims, but who do not want sex as often as their men.

A sexual meeting should only occur when two people choose each other and both want sex at the same time.

Your problem is your belief that it is dangerous to disappoint him. But all of us get disappointed many times in life. Disappointment is a natural feeling when you do not get what you want. It is not a happy feeling, but it is definitely not dangerous, except if you suppress it.

Accept his disappointment, and accept that he may choose to satisfy himself, if you do not feel like having sex at a particular time.

Be considerate, do not torment him by arousing him when you do not yourself feel like having sex.

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