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  im in love with a married man
  Re: im in love with a married man

KOM2002 (happy)  Re: im in love with a married man

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reply Re: im in love with a married man , q leeks1979 , 03 May 2009 22:07
reply Re: im in love with a married man , FP , 07 Apr 2007 19:10
Re: im in love with a married man (Reply to: 66877 from dg3k6wkxn1 )
From: 7622E6937646E6E77627E6987623E6937623E69B
Date: Sat, 7 Apr 2007 03:06:05 +0200
Language: English

 


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happy
I myself am inlove with a married man. I am 20 and he just turned 34. We are the best of friends and I dont know how I made it through life before him. I have always dated the biggest jerks around. The guys that wanted me when they wanted sex or someone to cook and clean cause their buddies were coming over. So when I found him, this guy that does nothing but help me build my self esteem back up, I latched on. Now it'll be a year on june 1st and nothing has really changed about our relationship. He is still married and says it's because of his son. I can understand that in a way because if he were to divorce her she would run off with his son... she's done it before. and she would take everything he has worked all his life to get. I would never want to feel like it was my fault that all of that happend and I could never be the reason why he couldn't be with his little boy, the one thing in this world that he cherrishes more than anything. Once his son is older, if things are still bad between him and his wife he will try to seperate on mutual terms. He has never lied to me and told me that it is a for certain thing that he will leave and come be with me. Which may make me stupid for staying but at this point I dont care and dont want to leave. Im still young and I fear that if I did leave him that the next guy I was with I would up and marry and begin having children with because I was ready to do that before I met him. I dont need to be married with kids at only 20 years old, so in a way he is helping me from making what might be a really big mistake. I would love for him to be able to leave his wife without any problems and finally introduce me to his adorable son but I know that cant happen right now and maybe not ever. We take it one day at a time and just try to keep at the very least a close friendship. We talk every day, and text back and fourth throughout the whole day. He truely is my bestfriend. I dont know what the future is going to be like but I know that I will never regret falling inlove with him. He makes me happier than any guy ever has. I dont know if it happens in most affairs but we dont tell eachother we love eachother. We talked about our feelings for one another and came to the conclusion that it's no fair to me or to his family that that word is used. He wants it to be rightly used. He wants to be able to tell me that and not have to go home and say it to someone else right after because it makes it seem used and a lie. I respect that and feel the same way cause if he did tell me he loved me but at the same time was telling his wife that I would feel that it was just something he says to please someone. I have come to a slight hard spot.. I live in a town that everyone is pregnant right now including two family members, well, I know that if I were to have a child I would want him to be the father. I have been suffering from a little depression because of the fact that I naturally am so driven to have a baby and family of my own that when I see all of these girls getting to have that it makes me jealous and I want it, but I want it with him. I know that having a baby right now would ruin his life because there's noway he would let me have a baby on my own and there's no way he could neglect his child but I fear that if I dont have a baby with him now that I'll never get that chance. Now I dont want to get pregnant on the sly or anything but it's just depressing knowing that I could have a baby with the man I love and be able to afford it and take care of him or her but I cant have a baby with him because of his home status. But I guess it goes back to that good thing about me being young still and needing to experience other things first. I guess Im just praying that my day finally comes and I get to be happy with him and his son and our children.. altho that brings me to another subject.. being a stepmom. I hate that word but thats what I'd be. I dont want to take his mom's place but I dont want to be refered to as the stepmom or teated like one. I would like to have a close relationship with his son but I know his mom wont allow that. I've talked to her once before and I've heard the way she yells at my boyfriend and it's not pretty. She's not a nice person at all. She's got a sweet and innocent look but she talks trash about everyone and I know I'll get it the worst. Which is horrid to me cause the last guy I was with cheated on me and left me for her and me and her became friends. I just cant hold those kind of grudes because I know stuff happens. You cant control everyones life, including your own sometimes. Life just happens and you have to deal with it and move on or you'll die a sad person. That's why this is so hard for me cause Im the type of person that would love to hangout with his wife and be whatever kind of friend or help to her that I can be. But whatever. Im sorry but I got to go.. the clock is ticking and I was supposed to be out of here 5 minutes ago.. ps.(Im at work)

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