I have only been married for 2 and a half years. My husband has lied to me about many things, is secretive about his whereabouts and activities and who he spends his time with. We have no sex life. I feel like I've been conned. He repeatedly tries to get me to change my will to leave everything to him instead of my children. He flies into fits of rage, calls me terrible names when I don't give in to him. He flirts outrageously with other women right in front of me. Yet he switches to this other personality which is unbelievably charming and charismatic. Most people find him irresistable. He is able to seduce almost anyone he meets, yet he has no real friends, only people who can offer him a step up the ladder or some form of adoration. If they cross him in any way, he attacks them vehemently. In addition to the verbal, emotional, and psychological abuse, he has also hit me, pushed me, kicked me, pinched me, and hurt me over 40 times since I've met him. He has no remorse and blames me for all of his problems. I find that if I try to talk to him rationally he twists and distorts my reality so much that I lose my ability to think.
I am in therapy for PTSD and have uncovered that I was sexually abused as a child. Right now I am reeling from this information. I realize that my husband is a mirror image of my primary care giver who did this to me. My love for him is almost entirely dead. I want to leave him. He makes my life a living hell, but I feel paralyzed to make a move. I can barely get myself out of the house each day and have not been to work in a month. This is completely unlike me. Normally I am highly responsible. My self-esteem has been so battered. I used to be a very attractive, energetic person. Now I am a mere shell of my former self. I would appreciate any advice you can offer.