I am a married man who is in love with a not married woman. I am 33 and she is 25. I knew before that I would never cheat on my wife. And somehow I even did not realise how it happened I fell in love with another woman. I tried to hide this feeling deep inside myself for a year. I was even ashamed about what I felt. And I never told that anyone. Three months ago we start to send e-mails to each other and it became flirting. I was in so desire to let her know about my feelings that I could not restrain myself. I could not sleep well and could not eat. My wife noticed changes in my behaviour but she thought I had crisis or depression of being unemployed (I was for couple of months). Finally I took my lady out and told her about my feelings. She was flattered. It was very romantic and ended with having sex. We saw each other a few times. She told me that she is in love with me as well. And that was really nice. I think I never felt so nice before and will never do again.
I have a wife and 2 kids 11 and 5 yo. Our family is quite happy. My wife loves me. She is not in love with me – she never has been – but loves as normal wife. And I love her as well. But what I feel about the other woman is completely different. I feel like I want to care about her and I have strong desire to be with her and to have sex with her.
I try to be sincere. It was really difficult for me to lie to my wife. About month ago (it was 1.5 month after I started to have an affair) I told her about my other love. She cried and I was really sorry for her. The most horrible thing was that nothing was over, I was and I still am in passionate love. I told both my women that I have no intention to leave my family. And I do not want my kids to have even slightest idea about all that. My wife also does want me to leave. My wife met her and asked her to leave me because my wife thought that she was the only person who can break this thing and return everything back to normal. And she promised that, understanding that that will be better for me and my wife.
We met after that and had sex again. Now it looks like we are just friends. We can see each other. But also we both want to show our love to each other and to have sex. She wants to have a baby with me and I want that too. I do not know how (if be able) I will tell this to my wife. That would probably kill her. She suffered enough. We all suffered. I do not know how to resolve this situation. But I expect that it may end up with me and my wife living in distress and her living alone with my child (if not more then one).
I am a very strong person and selfish. I do not want to loose my wife and kids. And I want to have a baby with my love. But I also do not want her to live her life alone and suffer from not having normal family and loving husband.
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Today's date: Tue, 11 Dec 2018 01:01:39 +0100